Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Dragonmaster Grumbles Again!

2012-01-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

Y'know, Mortals, there comes a time in every Wizard's life when one has to literally fight for the things he or she wants. Once more, the forces that be have seen fit to cause agita within meself as me Mortal-born alter ego, Master Richard.

Mere moments ago, I posted the latest update concerning the status of Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, Stephen Steinberg's feature-length documentary about yours truly. Frankly, kids, I'm running out of excuses, and I'm getting a little fed up because the film's just not getting finished as it ought to be! So now, I have no other option but to tell you, my loyal fans: Please pester Stephen Steinberg about the status of the movie. Like him on Facebook as much as possible. Motivate him into fulfilling his directorial responsibilities as the man who wants my story told on the screen as badly as I do.

The footage we shot for the film is now two years old. I can't afford now to feel stale about it. We need YOUR help, people! ('Nuff said.)

Master Blackwolf

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2012: And the Nominees Are.....

2012-01-24T07:31:00.000-08:00

BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR
* The Artist, La Petite Reine; La Classe Americaine-uFilm/JD Prods.-France 3 Cinema; The Weinstein Co. Thomas Langmann, producer/presenter; Emmanuel Montamat, producer; Antoine de Cazotte, Daniel Delume and Richard Middleton, executive producers; Jeremy Burdek, Nadia Khamlichi, Adrian Politowski and Gilles Waterkeyn, co-producers.
* The Descendants, Ad Hominem Enterprises/Fox Searchlight/Newscorp. Alexander Payne, Jim Burke and Jim Taylor, producers; George Parra, co-producer.
* Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Scott Rudin Prods./Time Warner. Scott Rudin, producer; Nora Skinner and Celia Costas, executive producers; Talik Karam, co-producer.
* The Help, Dreamworks-Reliance Entertainment/Participant Media-Imagenation Abu Dhabi/1492 Pictures-Harbinger Pictures/Disney-Touchstone. Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan and Brunson Green, producers; Mohammed Khalaf Al-Mazrouei, Nate Berkus, Tate Taylor, L. Dean Jones, Jr., Jennifer Blum, Mark Radcliffe, John Norris and Jeff Skull, executive producers; Sonya Lunsford, co-producer.
* Hugo, GK Films/Infinitum Nihil; Paramount-Viacom. Martin Scorsese, Graham King, Johnny Depp and Tim Headington, producers; Barbara Di Fina, David Crockett, Christi Dembrowski, Georgia Kacandes, Charles Newirth and Emma Tilinger, executive producers.
* Midnight in Paris, Gravier Prods.-Mediapro/Televisio de Catalunya/Versatil Cinema; Sony Pictures Classics. Letty Aronson, Stephen Tenenbaum and Jaume Roures, producers; Javier Mendez, executive producer; Jack Rollins, co-executive producer; Raphael Benoliel and Helen Robin, co-producers.
* Moneyball, Scott Rudin Prods.-Michael De Luca Prods./Film Rites-Specialty Films; Sony. Brad Pitt, Michael De Luca and Rachael Horovitz, producers; Andrew S. Karsch and Mark Bakshi, executive producers; Alissa Phillips, co-producer.
* The Tree of Life, Brace Cove Prods.-Plan B/River Road Entertainment; Fox Searchlight-Newscorp. Brad Pitt, Grant Hill, Bill Pohlad and Sarah Green, producers; Donald Rosenfeld, executive producer; Steve Schwartz and Paula-Mae Schwartz, co-executive producers.
* War Horse, Dreamworks-Reliance Entertainment/Kennedy-Marshall Co./Disney-Touchstone. Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, producers; Frank Marshall and Revel Guest, executive producers; Adam Somner and Tracey Seaward, co-producers.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
* Demian Bichir as Carlos Galindo in A Better Life.
* George Clooney as Matt King in The Descendants.
* Jean Dujardin as George Valentin in The Artist.
* Gary Oldman as George Smiley in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
* Brad Pitt as Billy Beane in Moneyball.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
* Glenn Close as Albert Nobbs.
* Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark in The Help.
* Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
* Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady.
* Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe in My Week with Marilyn.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
* Kenneth Branagh as Sir Laurence Olivier in My Week with Marilyn.
* Jonah Hill as Peter Brand in Moneyball.
* Nick Nolte as Paddy Conlon in Warrior.
* Christopher Plummer as Hal Fields in Beginners.
* Max von Sydow as the Renter in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
* Berenice Bejo as Peppy Miller in The Artist.
* Jessica Chastain as Celia Foote in The Help.
* Melissa McCarthy as Megan in Bridesmaids.
* Janet McTeer as in Albert Nobbs.
* Octavia Spencer as Minny Jackson in The Help.

DIRECTOR
* Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris.
* Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist.
* Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life.
* Alexander Payne, The Descendants.
* Martin Scorsese, Hugo.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
* Michel Hazanavicus, The Artist.
* Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, Bridesmaids.
* J.C. Chandor, Margin Call.
* Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris.
* Asghar Farhadi, A Separation.

SCREENPLAY ADAPTATION
* Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, The Descendants. Based upon the novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings.
* John Logan, Hugo. Based upon the book The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick.
* George Clooney, Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon, The Ides of March. Based upon the stage play Farragut North by Beau Willimon.
* Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin, Moneyball. Based upon the book Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game by Michael Lewis.
* Bridget O'Connor and Peter Straughan, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Based upon the novel by John le Carre.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
* Guillaume Schiffman, The Artist.
* Jeff Cronenweth, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
* Robert Richardson, Hugo.
* Emmanuel Lubezki, The Tree of Life.
* Janusz Kaminski, War Horse.

ART DIRECTION/SET DECORATION
* Laurence Bennett and Robert Gould, The Artist.
* Stuart Craig and Stephenie McMillan, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.
* Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schaivo, Hugo.
* Anne Seibel and Helene Dubreuil, Midnight in Paris.
* Rick Carter and Lee Sandales, War Horse.

FILM EDITING
* Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist.
* Kevin Tent, The Descendants.
* Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
* Thelma Schoonmaker, Hugo.
* Christopher Tellefsen, Moneyball.

COSTUME DESIGN
* Lisy Christl, Anonymous.
* Mark Bridges, The Artist.
* Sandy Powell, Hugo.
* Michael O'Connor, Jane Eyre.
* Arianne Phillips, W.E.

MAKEUP
* Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnson and Matthew W. Mungle, Albert Nobbs.
* Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.
* Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland, The Iron Lady.

ORIGINAL SCORE
* John Williams, The Adventures of Tintin and War Horse.
* Ludovic Bource, The Artist.
* Howard Shore, Hugo.
* Alberto Iglesias, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

ORIGINAL SONG
* "Man or Muppet?" from The Muppets. Music and Lyrics by Bret McKenzie.
* "Real in Rio" from Rio. Words and music by Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown and Siedah Garrett.

VISUAL EFFECTS
* Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.
* Robert Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning, Hugo.
* Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Danny Gordon Taylor and Swen Gillberg, Real Steel.
* Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett, Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
* Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew E. Butler and John Frazier, Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

ANIMATED FEATURE
* A Cat in Paris, Folimage-Digit Anima/France 3 Cinema-Lumiere/Lunanime; GKids.com. Jean-Loup Felicioli and Alain Gagnol, writers-directors; Jacques Remy Girerd; co-writer-producer; Emmauel Bernard, executive producer.
* Chico & Rita, Isle of Man Film/CinemaNX/Estudio Mariscal-Trueba Producciones Cinematograficas S.A./Magic Light Pictures. Fernando Trueba, Tono Errando and Javier Mariscal, directors; Cristina Huete, Martin Pope and Michael Rose, producers; Steve Christian and Marc Samuelson, executive producers.
* Kung Fu Panda 2, Dreamworks Animation/Paramount-Viacom. Jennifer Yuh Nelson, director; Melissa Cobb, producer; Guillermo del Toro, executive producer; Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, co-producers.
* Puss in Boots, Dreamworks Animation/Paramount-Viacom. Chris Miller, director; Joe Aguilar and Latifah Ouaou, producers; Guillermod del Toro, Andrew Adamson and Michelle Riamo, executive producers; John H. Willaims, co-executive producer.
* Rango, Industrial Light & Magic-Blind Wink Prods./GK Films-Nickelodeon Movies; Paramount-Viacom. Gore Verbinski, director; Graham King and John B. Carls, producers; Tim Headington, executive producer.

PRODUCTION SOUND & RE-RECORDING
* David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
* Tom Fleischman and John Midgley, Hugo.
* Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, David Giammarco and Ed Novick, Moneyball.
* Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Pater J. Devlin, Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
* Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson, War Horse.

SOUND EFFECTS EDITING
* Lon E. Bender and Victor Ray Ennis, Drive.
* Ren Klyce, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
* Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty, Hugo.
* Ethan van der Ryn and Erik Aardahl, Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
* Gary Rydstrom and Richard Hymns, War Horse.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
* Hell and Back Again, Danfung Dennis, director-producer; Martin Herring and Thomas Brunner, executive producers.
* If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front, Lucky Hat Entertainment and Marshall Curry Prods. in association with the BBC for POV and Independent Television Service, with funding provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting; Oscilloscope Pictures. Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman, directors; Matt Hamachek, producer; Steve Bannatyne, Marcia Carver, Sally Jo Fifer, Nick Fraser and Simon Kilmurry, executive producers.
* Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory, HBO Documentary Films. Joe Berlinger, Bruce Sinofsky and Jonathan Silberberg, producers; Sheila Nevins and Justin Wilkes, executive producers.
* Pina, Neue Road Movies/Eurowide Filmproduktion/ZDF/ARTE-L'Arche Editeur-Recorded Picture Co. in association with the Pina Bausch Foundation and Pictorion_das Werk; IFC Films. Wim Wenders, director; Gian-Piero Ringel, producer; Jeremy Thomas, executive producer.
* Undefeated, 5 Smooth Stones Prods.-Level 22 Prods./Zipper Bros. Films/Spitfire Pictures; The Weinstein Co. Daniel Lindsay and T.J. Martin, directors; Ed Cunningham, Seth Gordon, Daniel Lindsay and Glen Zipper, producers; Ralph Zipper, Paolo Coppola, Michele Farinola, Neraj Kohli, Jillian Longnecker, Chris Miller and Nigel Sinclair, executive producers.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
* The Barber of Birmingham: A Foot-Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement, Chicken & Egg Pictures. Gail Dolgin and Robin Fryday, directors; Judith Helfand, producer.
* God is the Bigger Elvis, Documentress Films-HBO Documentary Films. Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson, directors; Sheila Nevins, executive producer.
* Incident in New Baghdad, James Spione, director-producer; Carol Anne Grayson, executive producer; Mike Altman, co-producer.
* Saving Face, Daniel Junge, director-producer; Alison Greenberg, Davis Coombe, Sharmeen Obadi-Chinoy and Sabiha Surnar, executive producers.
* The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom, Lucy Walker, director.

LIVE-ACTION SHORT SUBJECT
* Pentecost, Peter McDonald, writer-director; Eimear O'Kane, producer.
* Raju, Max Zahle, director; Stefan Gieren, producer; Arindam Sil, executive producer.
* The Shore, Seamus Prods.-Northern Ireland Screen-Lough Shore Investments-Tourism Ireland. Terry George, writer-director; Oorlagh George, producer; Danny Moore, Stephen Morrow and Cathy Mooney, executive producers.
* Time Freak, Andy Bowler, writer-director; Gigi Causey, Luke Geissbuhler, Michael McDermott and Geoffrey Richman, producers.
* Tuba Atlantic, the Norwegian Film School. Hallvar Witzo, director; Gudrun Austli, producer.

ANIMATED SHORT SUBJECT
* Dimanche (Sunday), Patrick Doyon, director.
* The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, Moonbot Entertainment. William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg, directors; Iddo Lampton Enochs, Jr., Trish Farnsworth-Smith and Alissa M. Kantrow, producers.
* La Luna, Disney-Pixar. Enrico Casarosa, writer-director; Kevin Reher, producer; John Lasseter, executive producer.
* A Morning Stroll, Grant Orchard, writer; Sue Goffe, producer.
* Wild Life, the National Film Board of Canada. Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby, writers-directors; Marcy Page and Bonnie Thompson, producers; David Christensen and David Verrall, executive producers.

FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM
* From Belgium: Bullhead, Savage Film-Eyeworks Film & TV Drama-Waterlan Film & TV; Drafthouse Films. Michael Roskam, director; Bart van Langendonck, producer.
* From Israel: Footnote, Movie Plus-United King Films/Sony Pictures Classics. Joseph Cedar, director; Leon and Moshe Edery and David Mandil, producers; Michal Graidy, executive producer.
* From Poland: In Darkness, the Film Works-Zeba Films/Schmidtz Katze Filmkollektiv; Sony Pictures Classics. Agnieszka Holland, director; Leander Carell, Marc-Daniel Dichant, Eric Jordan, Patrick Knippel, Juliusz Machulski, Steffen Reuter and Paul Stephens, producers; Carl Woebcken and Anna Maria Zundel, executive producers.
* From Canada: Monsieur Lazhar, micro_scope; Music Box Films. Phillippe Falardeau, writer-director; Luc Dery and Kim McCraw, producers.
* From Iran: A Separation, Asghar Farhadi Prods.-Sony Pictures Classics. Asghar Farhadi, writer-producer-director; Negar Eskandarfar, executive producer.

Well, kids, there they are --- the 84th Annual Academy Award Nominees! Now go make your picks for the winners over at Oscar.com --- and look for the results and my recap of the show here in the ol' Diary of Magecraft, on the Monday after the telecast! See ya then!

Master Blackwolf

An Open Letter to the Wikipedians

2012-01-19T07:13:00.000-08:00

Greetings, goodlies of Wikipedia, you who once booted me off of your encyclopedia because I, Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, was not cool enough to even merit a proper article in your vast castle of pages!

But enough nonsense! Mine is not to kvetch; mine is to simply say thank you. And now I shall explain why.

As most of the world knows by now, yesterday, you led the charge in a 24-hour protest against two congressional proposals intended to thwart the online piracy of copyrighted motion pictures and television programs. Clearly, your day-long rant certainly made all the difference.

For my regular readers of this Diary of Magecraft just now joining us, methinks a proper plot synopsis is in order: these two bills --- the Protect Intellectual Property Act, in the Senate; along with the Stop Online Piracy Act, in the House --- are reportedly supported by the film and television industries as a means in part to crack down on Internet piracy. However, sites such as Wikipedia, Google, Facebook, Yahoo, Twitter, Flickr, et al, are of the mind that the new laws, if enacted, would expose them to extensive lawsuits and give the media the potential power to literally shut down websites over alleged accusations of copyright infringement.

As a result, you Wikipedians went dark for 24 hours, beginning at midnight Eastern time last night, while other websites, my Dark Chambers among them, stood in solidarity in their --- in our --- own individual manners. Long point short, in what appears to be a continuing conflict pitting Silicon Valley against Hollywood, the Silicons have the upper hand .... for now.

Needless to say, the Wikipedians made the wiser, more noble decision, for which I must offer my heartfelt and honest thanks. One hopes, then, that the major film studios and broadcast and cable networks will get with the program and accept the fact that unless Hollywood conforms to the methods and mentalities of an ever-growing, ever-changing, ever-evolving digital domain, the ancient ways espoused by the founding movie moguls of old will undoubtedly consume them!

Bottom line, kiddos: It's a publish-or-perish world. Get used to it, Hollywood, or face certain extinction at the hands of the Pirates of Silicon Valley. Steve Jobs may be gone, but your humble Dragonmaster is a wise enough Wizard to understand that his ghost may come to haunt the realms of Hollywood.

Of course, these are no more than mine own opinions. I could be wrong.

And as ever --- and, by Merlin's beard, it's been quite some time since last I uttered these particular words --- I wanna know what you think, America. Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

Today's Guest Blogger: His Wintry Majesty, Boreas Rex, King of the Winds!

2012-01-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Mortals! I trust you goodlies are enjoy my frosty felicitations, my dears (yes, that especially means you, my dear denizens of St. Paul, Minnesota!). 'Tis been quite some time since I last guest-blogg'd hither in this, Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft; but then again, I haven't paid much attention to you Mortals of late. So I thought 'twas time to remedy that.

So, I bet you'll be wanting to know what we have in store for the ten days wherein yours truly will be ruling my Magical Winter Kingdom, located at Winter-Carnival.com, huh? Well, now I have a Facebook presence, too --- AND a home on both Twitter and YouTube as well!

The only thing I still don't have, as usual, is my very own movie. Electric Pirates Entertainment still wants me to star in my very own movie; I hope one of these days we'll try to get it off the ground.

Well, anyway, friends, there's much for me to do --- including look good being King of the Winds! See you this weekend, if not before --- and may all your winter dreams come true!

Frostily yours,

Boreas Rex, King of the Winds

Oh boy, it had to be one of those bloomin' Tuesdays.....

2012-01-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

Y'know, there are just some days where you simply can't get your adventure started, my dears! You can barely get your brain in gear, and out of the blue, something happens, as usual, to toss the proverbial monkey wrench in one's works! Well, as my colleague Merdwin the Mediocre is so fond of saying, "Well, such is Life!"

In the meantime, there's more to accomplish as far as getting the new Uncle Fergus' Bagpipers' Paradise back up to speed; as well as setting meself up to update things from Oscar.com and Oscars.org. Then there's bloomin' Groundhog.org and that blarsted expletive deleted superbowl.com, too! Leaving me barely enough time to dabble in worrying about MardiGras.com!

(Oh yeah: did I mention that I also have to do WYES-TV/HD, Home of the Rex Ball and the Meeting of the Courts of Rex and Comus as well?) 2012, you're gonna plum tucker me out, by Merlin's beard --- AND you're gonna have me kvetching all first quarter long! Drat, drat, draaaaaaat!!!!!!!!

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2012: Previewing the Show, Meeting the Team!

2012-01-10T07:57:00.000-08:00

Y'know, events as usual come at your Dragonmaster faster than a speeding bullet! Fah! First of all, thanks a lot, NFL! In a rare bit of Twilight Zone-ishness, Super Bowl Sunday, February 5th, occurs just 48 hours removed from --- you guessed it --- Groundhog Day! Fie 'pon the mysteries of Father Time for even daring to force this foolish Mage into this unexpected conundrum! From Punxsutawney Phil to the force of the Super Bowl! What circumstances caused this unlikely gathering of the Moons? say I!

And as if that ain't weird enough, Madonna is headlining the Super Bowl Halftime Show, presented by Bridgestone Tires. She's teaming up with the sillies of Cirque du Soleil for a 12-minute provocative something. I wouldn't put it past the Material Girl, given her thirst for unpredictability. Most of this is largely to cash in on that W.E. movie she's directing (Aye, and fie 'pon ye as well, Harvey!).

But enough nonsense! My mission this morning is to introduce you to the team who will assume responsibility for the 84th Annual Academy Awards, so let's get on with that:

* DON MISCHER, Executive Producer/Director: This is his second shot at supervising an Oscar Night telecast; everybody in need of a decent special, from Disney to say, the Monkees, has trusted Don Mischer Productions; clearly, were I an A-lister, I would not hesitate to follow that example!

* BRIAN GRAZER, Co-Executive Producer: Mr. Imagine has a real big job ahead of him: filling the space left when Brett Ratner had to quit his status as co-producer when he dared to grumble about .... well, let's not beat a dead horse about it. Suffice it to say, the twit simply opened his mouth and inserted his bloomin' foot, by Merlin's beard!

* BILLY CRYSTAL, Host: God has returned to the Kodak Theatre stage, my dears. I can't put it any plainer than that.

* JOHN MYHRE, Production Designer: Making his first appearance as a member of the behind-the-scenes team, John, a double-Oscar winner and triple-Oscar nominee, has created some of the most fascinating sets for film and television. Cool!

* BOB DICKINSON, Lighting Designer: Bob has long brought the sheer harnessing power of being a lighting designer to every Oscar show. The Academy can no doubt count on him again this year.

* MICHAEL B. SELIGMAN, Supervising Producer: Mike celebrates his 35th anniversary of association with the Academy, having racked up a whopping 300-plus live events to his credit and nine Primetime Emmy Award nominations! Excellent!

* HANS ZIMMER and PHARRELL WILLIAMS, Musical Consultants: Eight-time Oscar winner Zimmer and 10-time Grammy Award winner Williams are teamed up for their first major session as members of Oscar's behind-the-scenes unit. Their musical expertise will bring luster to the Best Original Score and Best Original Song segments.

* BRUCE VILANCH, Head Writer: You just DO NOT do the Oscars unless Brucie is the head writer. Period. Bruuuuuuce!!!!!!!

* DOUGLASS M. STEWART, Jr., Supervisor, Film Sequences: Doug knows the packages. So does your Dragonmaster. His tribute segments, Oscar's Necrology included, are the result of Doug's knack for editing and craftsmanship.

* TOM KANE, Telecast Announcer (tentative): To the booth Yoda returns, the show to take us through (though I cannot yet confirm that, in which case, I can only say, as ever, stay ye tun'd!).

Now, you guys do yourselves a favor on Tuesday morning, January 24th, as Supporting Actress nominee Jennifer Lawrence joins Academy President Tom Sherak at the Sam Goldwyn Theatre in Beverly Hills, 8:30 Eastern, 5:30 Pacific, to announce 10 of the scheduled 24 categories for the 84th Annual Academy Awards. Those 10 to be announced, as always, are:

* BEST PICTURE
* BEST ACTOR
* BEST ACTRESS
* BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
* BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
* BEST DIRECTOR
* BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
* BEST SCREENPLAY ADAPTATION
* BEST FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM
* BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

But, as per our tradition, count on the ol' Diary of Magecraft to post all the gory details of the Oscar Nominees --- and I DO mean ALL of them! And, natch, after the telecast, this ol' blog'll share your dear Dragonmaster's post-Oscar chronicle (and, by Merlin's beard, I'll plum tucker meself out doing it, too!)!

Be a dear, won't you, and be here!

Master Blackwolf

Blackwolf Hails the New Year, and Then Some!

2012-01-05T08:52:00.001-08:00

And so, here we are, Mortals! Welcome to 2012, Mortal-reckoning: the alleged year where everything you've ever known and/or held sacred about our Multiverse is supposed to change forever, assuming you believe dear Roland Emmerich. (I have yet to properly immerse meself in the madness of his classic all-star end-of-days party Independence Day.)

Well, here's what we have to share with ye: Mardi Gras; Oscar Night (Billy returns! Huzzah!); the Imperial Court of New York's Night of a Thousand Gowns Dinner Dance and Party; the Games of the 30th Olympiad --- and on and on and on! 2012 is going to be the most exhausting year this foolish old Mage has ever had to confront! Oh, that I had Merlin's foresight and strength to go on and do this!

All of which is to say: Huff, puff, wheeze, gasp, choke, pant and other assorted exhaustion-related words!

Master Blackwolf

Some New Year's Musings from the Dragonmaster

2011-12-29T07:25:00.000-08:00

Sir Clisto Seversword and I were chatting by phone the other night, and he was grumbling about Renaissance Magazine's recent listing of the Top 100 Renaissance Faires in North America, based upon annual attendance per year. Ol' Clisto was not happy, as he detected a certain degree of bias on the part of Renaissance Magazine's publishers at Queue, Inc. I have already put in mine own ten cents concerning this, and frankly, when you have actually 105 Faires in that list, and 17 groups of Faires tied with the same number of yearly attendance, obviously something's wrong.

Now, I don't wanna get off on a rant here, but I knew from the first that these listings would eventually spark an in-print and onlnie backlash; Faire organizers even now, I suspect, have sent along hate letters and hate e-mails to the Renaissance Magazine offices saying how wrong these listings are, etc. The sad truth here, dear children, is this: not everyone will be pleased by what they did here. I'm certainly not. But it is not wise to grumble loudly and instigate a corporate Renaissance Faire internal conflict, lest the general public start picking and choosing.

I don't tackle those things; I simply observe and record, so that you, the visitors to this blog, can get the right idea from my perspective and (hopefully) properly understand.

Now we're coming up on the New Year; and your Dragonmaster has much to consider: the Super Bowl; Oscar Night; the Games of the 30th Olympiad --- and on and on and on! It's gonna plum tucker me out (again!), so be not surprised if I don't have too much of a spring in me step as I had in years previous; as ever, there's both a burden and a price that go with being New York's Unofficial Wizard. My only hope, dearests, is that everybody lets ol' Blackwolf do his dirty work in peace --- because I don't take too kindly to grumbling unless I need to!

Happy New Year, Mortals!

Master Blackwolf

Just for Fun: King Nicholas and Queen Vivianne of the Realm of Forever, a/k/a Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus!

2011-12-28T12:11:00.000-08:00

Thought you Mortals would want to have a proper look at the King and Queen of Christmas, resplendent upon their Royal Thrones at Epcot's American Adventure Pavilion in the Walt Disney World Resort, December 17th, 2011:

Long live the King and Queen! Huzzah! ('Nuff said.)

Belated Christmas Things, Assorted Rants and Other Things for Blackwolf's Fans to Know

2011-12-28T08:21:00.000-08:00

Thank Merlin for Leonard and Emily Hutchens, resident Santa and Mrs. Claus of the Winston-Salem, NC Region. Their kindness to your Dragonmaster (and me Mortal-born twit of an alter ego as well) will obviously never be forgotten. That, plus they're very honest Christians, too!

As for me movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, the project's status is pretty much up in the air. Y'know, it's a little difficult trying to rendezvous with Stephen and Otis and constantly missing release deadlines and crap; and while all this is going on, the goodlies of AudioCentesis want me to be in on this CONvergence thing in the Minneapolis/St. Paul region; I now hafta e-mail Tom to say I sorta forgot his phone number.

There's also a Gandalf World Tour, developed by our pals at TheOneRing.net and TheHobbitBlog.com to plug the upcoming two-part Hobbit epic that's out next December. In between all that, I need to worry about Oscar Night (Billy hath return'd! Huzzah!); the Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad in London ---- and well, ooooh, there are just too many things can drive New York's Unofficial Wizard up the bloomin' wall! Aaaaaahhhh!

Well, in any case, enough nonsense. I gotta forward Santa's 2011 "State of the Pole" Address to me ClausNET.com colleagues; I need it to be in next month's ClausNET Gazette and stuff.

Master Blackwolf

In Focus: Renaissance Magazine's Top 100 (make that Top 105)

2011-12-15T07:24:00.002-08:00

Renaissance Magazine, in its customary infinite wisdom, has in its latest issue revealed the results of its first-ever survey listing the top 100 Renaissance Festivals in North America, based on annual attendance. Topping the list: our dear friends in Plantersville; as for your Dragonmaster's two home Faires, Sterling Forest comes in at #16; whilst Fort Tryon Park is somewhere in the middle at #23.

Now, I had cause to have a proper look at that list, and have counted 105 Faires in that listing, along with an unprecedented seventeen ties!!! Clearly, this here be one of those "What in Merlin's name is wrong with this picture?" moments. I will, meanwhile, utter a proper Huzzah! to dearest Lady Janet for the new issue's color segment, saluting our pals at Hoggetowne, especially the lovely portrait wherein King William, Hoggetowne's wise monarch, chats merrily with one cute lovely little girl. (As ever, Milady, your photo spreads continue to tickle me; and, of course, you still ain't no slouch when it comes to advertising and doing all those other little in-office things, either!

Now when I see a Top 100 listing with no fewer than seventeen ties, I know something's not necessarily legit; and needless to say, I shall shortly share my concerns with you in my first real Press Release for the Christmas season. As ever, pray, stay ye tun'd!

(P.S.: Congratulations, dear King Henry the Red of Shiabruck, upon your recent ascension to the Throne as Monarch of the Mid-Michigan Renaissance Faire. I'm sure you'll have a joyous celebration of this milestone next June!)

Master Blackwolf

Master Blackwolf Returns!

2011-11-29T07:00:00.002-08:00

Pay attention, Mortals, and Season's Greetings! Your humble Dragonmaster has not scribbled hither in a while, me two e-mail inbox are in the triple digits by now, and I've abandoned me blog long enough! Let's recap, for those of you who know me not, and wonder what the hell this blog is all about:

First of all, I am Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, Duke and First Marquess of Talisker, the semi-celebrated and slightly scatter-brained self-proclaimed Unofficial Wizard of New York City. My mission: having a spectacular lot of fun without so much as being malicious! What will you find in my fabulous Dark Chambers website, you ask? Lotsa stuff --- links to the nation's Renaissance Faires, and the weird people who populate them; people and places that I have dubbed "Unexpectedly Cool;" resources from sources you might and might not expect ---- and, er, oh yeah: did I mention the little documentary movie I've been battling like crazy to get released. Maybe you've heard about. In case you haven't, it's called Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard. We've even got a Facebook presence for the movie. Please be a dear and like it. You can also find me bugging the strange, bizarre and unexpected on my Twitter presence, too!

Well, now you know enough about me to go on with. Gotta go. As I said, I've got two e-mail inboxes to whip into shape, and I've wasted far too much time to take on the challenge! See you later, Mortals!

Master Blackwolf

From the Royal Palace of Dun Morogh and Ironforge: A Very Special Holiday Adventure

2011-11-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes! King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge here!

You who are regular fans of World of WarCraft, this message is a special holiday thing for everybody beyond the canyons of Blizzard Entertainment's World HQ, here in beautiful, downtown Irvine, California; though you might be a little bored about this, I send you my love anyway.

For the last three weeks, the Blizzard gang has been auctioning off on eBay a series of the earliest World of WarCraft server hardware stuff, with the proceeds from all sales benefitting our pals at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee. Now, this week is the fourth and last of the auctions we're doin', and the deal is you gotta log onto eBay.com, and they'll hook you guys up with all the information and details, as well as how to make that valuable contribution to the St. Jude folks.

Yeah, we here at Blizzard will often chow down on a Human or four --- or, in my case, bash a head in from time to time --- but that don't excuse us from giving something back to those less fortunate than ourselves, especially during this coming Christmas season. (And yeah, I'll plead guilty to being an old softie and shedding a tear when some of the kids here in Ironforge actually dare to say, "I love you, King Magni!")

Well, don't stand there and behave like Scrooge. Go bid on stuff, willya!

Merry Christmas,

Bronzie

Coming to the Dragonmaster's World: DCR --- Dark Chambers Radio!

2011-11-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been seeing a series of bus advertisements extolling something called iHeartRadio.com. Needless to say, this is internet radio, a type of entertainment your humble Dragonmaster has not entirely seriously pursued.

What, then, if indeed I were to invade this iHeartRadio.com, you ask?

Well, were I to dive in at full throttle, I'd call the idea DCR --- Dark Chambers Radio. As the name implies, it would be an internet-radio version of my Dark Chambers website; moreover, it would also serve as the official soundtrack of my Mortal-born alter ego's life, bringing listeners highlights of the sounds that mattered throughout Richard Washington's life over the years: the tunes, the themes, the favorite musical concepts that have made a difference in the lad's many years.

I wonder if, by Merlin's beard, I should make the commitment to hosting me own Internet radio show. Well, if I do, I'll post an e-mail Press Release and tell you lot. In the meantime, I'm hoping to see what the four Broadway musicals are who will anchor the first hour of NBC's live coverage of the 85th Anniversary Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Well, when I know that, you'll hear about it here. Oh, and by the way, if you're checking out ClausNET.com, please don't hesitate to check out Santa Claus' 2011 "State of the Pole" Address. King Nicholas of the Realm of Forever has much on his mind this year, and I'm sure you'll be riveted by his every word.

Master Blackwolf

Santa Claus' 2011 "State of the Pole" Address

2011-10-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

NORTH POLE HEADQUARTERS, ARCTIC CIRCLE, 12/24/2011 --- Once again on this Christmas Eve, in accordance with their familiar annual tradition, Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus renewed their regal status as Their Sovereign Majesties, King Nicholas and Queen Vivianne, Lord and Lady High Monarchs of the Realm of Forever. The setting, as usual, was the Throne Room of their North Pole Castle and Workshop; the occasion: Santa's annual "State of the Pole" Address, a review of the previous year's activities in the Realm, as well as an assessmant of the sights, sounds, emotions and happenings which both impacted and influenced the world of Santa Claus, 2011.

As usual, the Address was attended by an audience consisting of Elves, Helpers, and a virtual Who's Who of History's greatest defenders of the Forces of Goodness. Seated upon two magnificently crafted Thrones, Their Majesties looked elegant beyond measure: King Nicholas, in a spectacular 17th-Century general's uniform; Queen Vivianne, in a fabulous poinsettia-styled white gown with diamonds, emeralds and pearls festooned all over it.

Adding to the magnificence of these splendid outfits, the King and Queen wore two fantastic matching capes of crimson red cloth with ermine fur trim. King Nicholas' leoninesque white hair and beard, as always, was the very peak of perfection, as was the jewel-encrusted Royal Nicholean Crown which topped his jolly head; whereas, Queen Vivianne, wearing the Consort's Crown of Forever, matched her husband's splendor-packed finery. Two matching Royal Sceptres completed this miraculous wardrobe scheme.

When he was properly satisfied that those in attendance were all present and accounted for, King Nicholas rose from his Throne. A hush then fell over the assembled crowd, as Santa Claus began his 2011 "State of the Pole" Address:

Greetings, dear friends and fellow Believers throughout the Cosmos!

Once more, the time has come to journey back to the year just now concluded, to bring to you our annual assessment of the State of the Pole --- and, surprisingly enough, 2011 has proven to be the most rouitne business-as-usual year I've ever experienced! And it delights me to say that it could not have happened at a more magical time....

But it is also a time to look ahead as well. As you all know, the New Year begins in a few days; and, with the coming of 2012, the world will shortly cast its eyes upon London, England --- where, for the first time since 1948, and for the third time in its history overall, the United Kingdom of Great Britain will accept the challenge of welcoming athletes from more than 170 nations to the Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad. Will all this have a profound influence on Christmas, you ask?

I believe so.

For once again, History has begun to catch up with the Realm of Forever. As I speak to you even now, events proceed at a pace unparalleled in our Kingdom's time before or since; and, as always, the decisions made by you who have joined us here in our Throne Room tonight will make all the difference.

No one, I think, is more cognizant of this fact than our friends at Bakken in Klampenbourg, Denmark --- the oldest continuously operational amusement park in the world. As the World Santa Claus Congress observes its 55th Annual Session next year, doubtless London 2012 will portray a major role in their celebrations, along with how Britain's vast army of Santas will be able to cope with the coming spectacle of the Games. One can hope that those responsible for these forthcoming 16 days of competition, beginning on the weekend of July 27th, will properly recognize the spirit of the holiday season long after the Olympic Flame has been extinguished on the evening of Sunday, August 12th.

But before all that, we must consider the spring of 2012 --- and the two other significant events here in our Kringleverse which I must share with you. While both are scheduled to take place prior to the 55th Congress at Bakken, they're just as deserving, I think, of recognition for the greater benefit of all of us here in the Realm. The first of these two events will once again see Gatlinburg, Tennessee awash in Santas, Mrs. Clauses, Elves, Helpers, Reindeer friends and other interested colleagues. They're calling it ClausFest 2012 --- and I'm certain that we gathered here in the Throne Room tonight will look to March 18th, 19th, 20th and 21st for what we think will be one of this coming springtime's more interesting Santa-related events.

Except, of course, for the weekend of April 19th, 20th and 21st. This time, the location will be the appropriately named Santa Claus, Indiana --- and this 3-day interactive forum, offered to all Santas worldwide, free of charge, is called the Jim Yellig Santa Claus Workshop. Here, our dear friends, Pat and Philip Koch and Mrs. Jane Holland --- all of whom have their special connections to the life and times of Raymond James Yellig --- will join the assembled delegates for a full weekend of make-overs, fellowships, vendor exhibitions ..... and even a Santa Claus Film Festival!

Please join Vivianne and myself as we salute the organizers of these two delightful events which, I hope, will shed new light into the odyssey and wonder of the Christmas spirit --- a spirit that can only burn bright if it is safeguarded, defended and cherished by all of us!

In the meantime, we must also recall that while thus far there has been little in terms of scandal in the toymaking world for much of 2011, that still does not excuse us from maintaining constant vigilance, as there will continue to be overtures from the Forces of Nastiness, who remain determined to ferret out the naughty folks. Power can equal responsibility, that much is certain; what is done with that power concerns me, and, consequently, should concern all of you in return. As always, may you all be granted the strength to make all the right --- and wise --- choices.

As usual, all is never simply all fun and games here in our Realm. Once more, the issue of economics has aroused controversy amongst us Believers. More and more, the desires of financial responsibility are often ignored by the Mortals on Earth; even as I speak now, at least one or two, for whatever the reason, are compelled to make do with what little the currently possess. And therein lies the root of the very concept of giving: When we first set up this Realm of Forever, one of our major objectives was, and remains, to serve as a standard-bearer to remind the human race of just exactly what the art of giving truly means. The series of protests which occurred between October and December, involving the so-called "Occupation," should demonstrate to you, I think, what we're now all up against.

As occurred last year, there are three new candidates for permanent citizenship into our Realm to call to your attention. I will tell you of the other two in a moment; meanwhile, the third, merits an immediate tribute from those of us here tonight because he has stood tall among that rare breed of Mortals who have harnessed the force of communication that it may be shared here and across the entire Cosmos. Like so may of those assembled here tonight, Steven Paul Jobs has, and even I must admit this, made such a difference in my own life, even as it no doubt has in yours: Through Steve's efforts, and those of his many colleagues, the digital dominion has granted me a greater ability to continue maintaining my duties as Santa Claus.

Believe me when I tell you that Steve has gone far above and beyond the required elements necessary for inclusion in our Kingdom. So too has Jimmy Lomax. Working out of their headquarters in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, Jimmy and his wife Susan, for over 50 years, beginning in 1958, made an unceasingly unstoppable commitment to Hamilton's children through their Operation: Santa Claus charitable gift drive. But in early June of 2011, Jimmy and Susan realized that they could no longer keep up the battle --- especially after Jimmy found out that he had been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. And so, the Lomaxes made the heartbreaking but obviously necessary decision to transfer the day-to-day operations of their gift drive to the CHML 900 AM Radio/Y108 FM Radio Children's Fund.

Then, sadly, Susan stood faithfully by her husband's side as he began his final journey --- a journey that has now led him here, to the Realm of Forever, where he has clearly proven himself to be brave, truthful and unselfish. Of course, dear Jimmy, you are more than welcome here to our Kingdom; and we accordingly invite you to take your rightful place among us, your new family of citizens!

We welcome as well the famous "Dean of New York City's Santas," Roger Franklin. For 22 incredible seasons, this one-time very multi-talented actor/singer/lecturer/stage manager impersonated me at Lower Manhattan's South Street Seaport, catering to its junior visitors in a very friendly and unique way. In so doing, Roger became the quintessential holiday ambassador, welcoming first-time visitors to the Big Apple and a truly marvelous Christmas in New York!

We welcome all three of you to our Lands, Steve, Jimmy and Roger --- you who, in your own important ways, have shared your many talents with the world --- and, by so doing, have inspired others to make a difference in the lives of others. Welcome, then, unto our Realm.

It's only fitting that our friends at Pasadena, California's Tournament of Roses should turn to the wonder of Imagination by choosing it as the theme for the 2012 Parade. Here in the Realm of Forever, Imagination is something which we most certainly hold sacred, for it is the seed that brings wonder, wisdom and magic to our world. I'm sure that the power of Imagination matters to the 2012 Rose Parade Queen, Drew Washington. At only 16, Her Majesty Queen Drew is the youngest-ever Monarch in the Tournament's long history. She and her Princesses --- Morgan Devaud (age 18), Stephanie Hynes (age 18), Cynthia Megan Louie (age 17), Kimberly Ostiller (age 17), Hanan Bulto Worku (age 17) and Sarah Nicole Zuno (age 17) --- spent a wonderful two months preparing to share their imaginations with those who will greet them along Colorado Boulevard on Monday morning, January 2nd. As you may or may not know, New Year's Day falls on a Sunday in 2012; as I understand it, it's Tournament policy not to share their activities with the world on a Sunday, as Sunday is, of course, the day of Our Lord. 'Twas 2006, as I seem to recall, when that last happened; we too shall be honoring the Eternals upon that Sunday.

Now, before I retire from this lectern to assume my more traditional outfit identifying me as the one true Santa Claus, I must leave you this Christmas Eve with some kind-hearted thoughts as to where our world will be headed next:

Ours is a very precious Planet where the most special kind of Humans --- children --- make decisions which, I hope, will always be wise and loving. For aeons now, I've reflected upon what it means to rule as King of the Realm of Forever, Defender and Protector of Childhood Dreams. After all this time, I think, I've finally come up with a proper answer. It is this: our future rests with children who can, if they are but permitted to do so, lead the world into a new kind of brotherhood .... one that will eventually manifest itself the way it has always done, each and every Christmas Eve. It is in that spirit tonight that I make my own preparations to once again bring the wonder of Joy and Happiness to the children of the world. You, my faithful and loyal subjects, have steadfastly stood with me as I fulfill that mission each year; I trust, as ever, that I can expect the same from you all this time, too.

Well, I guess it's about time for me, and all of you assembled here, to get things started on this Christmas Eve. There's a whole Planet out there filled with all sorts of holiday wishes ..... and it's all out there, waiting for me --- just as it's all out there waiting for all of us --- to explore.

Let the journey begin!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT!

Louis B. Mayer on: The Fall of Hollywood, 2011

2011-10-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

From this morning's New York Post:

Court officers slapped handcuffs on train wreck Lindsay Lohan yesterday after a furious judge found her in violation of her probation --- and questioned whether she's even an actress anymore.

"She is supposed to be an actress, from what I hear. I don't know how much acting work she's done or is doing," a steaming-mad L.A. County Court District Judge Stephanie Sautner said.

The angry jurist teed off on Lohan for blowing off 9 court-ordered sessions of community service at a women's shelter.

Lohan couldn't be bothered to do her court-ordered time because she was traveling through Europe looking for work --- an excuse that Sautner didn't buy.

"She needed to get off the stick and start doing the community service," said the judge.

LiLo's lawyer explained that Lindsay couldn't immediately do all court-ordered community service --- because she's too busy driving a gravy train for her siblings and her hard-partying mom.

"The reality is that Miss Lohan has to support herself and she supports her family," Shawn Holley said flatly.

Then, in a brutally honest comment about Lohan's trash heap career, Holley said that no moviegoer in America wants to see Lohan on the screen.

"Her opportunities are, unfortunately right now, limited," said Holley, claiming that Lohan is still big in Europe.

"Her opportunities are not in this country. They're outside this country. And her traveling to Europe was not to have fun. It was to make money to support both herself and her family."

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! Louis B. Mayer speaking.

Once again, on behalf of my fellow deceased Hollywood legends, I am compelled to make the Case Against Hollywood of the Present Day. As the just-now excerpted story demonstrates, there is a fine line separating Good and Evil that even modern-day actors must abide by. What it boils down to is a sense of moral character, of which, all too apparently, Miss Lohan and others of her kind are tragically ignorant.

Such behaviors were never the case when I was in charge at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. If there was something morally ambiguous that occured, whatever the reason, my executive in charge of publicity relations, Howard Strickling, was on call at all times to deal with the problem. Old Irving Thalberg and I often saw to that.

But today, Hollywood 2011 is too fast, too overly controversial, and too completely out of control. Hell, I don't even really recognize Variety or The Hollywood Reporter anymore these days; both have become mere ghosts of their former selves; keeping up with the latest in entertainment news these days has been reduced to a mere afterthought, or else there's no one real journalist to keep a pulse on the world of the industry, as dear Hedda Hopper used to do in the Hollywood of old.

It's time for Lindsay Lohan and her kind to understand that time is running out for her so-called generation. Either conform to the behavior that was granted unto you when you became a star per se, or suffer the fate of John Gilbert.

When he realized that I wasn't gonna give him any grief about the state of his blackly moral character, John Gilbert was so furious about it that he even dared to whine about his sorry state by issuing a full-page advertisement in The Hollywood Reporter --- that would be the REAL Hollywood Reporter --- that read, in part:

"Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer will neither offer me work nor release me from my contract."

Two years later, John Gilbert was dead of a heart attack, a lonely, broken man. Take heed, Lindsay Lohan, lest you condemn yourself to suffering John Gilbert's fate. Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Gumby. Dammit!

2011-10-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

This morning's Google Doodle salutes the legacy of Arthur Charles Farrington Clokey (October 12th, 1921, Detroit, Michigan-January 8th, 2010, Los Osos, California), whose Clokey Productions, now calling itself Premavision, Inc., was responsible for two of the greatest strokes of good, stop-motion animation culture-style fortune the television world has ever known: Davey & Goliath and The Adventures of Gumby.

Perhaps Art Clokey's best friend, other than his wife Ruth and his son Joe, was character actor, cartoon voiceman and beloved Disney icon Dallas McKennon (July 19th, 1919, LaGrande, Oregon-July 14th, 2009, Raymond, Washington). Dally was also the principal voice of Filmation's Archie Andrews and Walter Lantz' Buzz Buzzard. But Art and Dally had always had some kind of bond whenever the time came to do another bit of Gumby adventuring. Your Dragonmaster was first introduced to Dally through the Wee Sing series and the rather jolly episode called King Cole's Party, written, produced and directed by Susan Shadburne, and featuring Gary Basey as His Merry Majesty.

It was not until the early years of Eddie Murphy's run on Saturday Night Live that the Gumby franchise began to undergo a renaissance of sorts, when Murphy, sometimes with Joe Piscopo as Pokey, developed the "I'm Gumby, dammit!" series of skits, one of which featured a Christmas special! (My word!)

Art and Ruth Clokey, partnered with Dick Sutcliffe, developed Davey & Goliath for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America during the early 1960s. The show follows the adventures of the Hansen family --- John, Elaine, Davey and Sally --- and Davey's faithful dog, Goliath (only we, along with Davey himself, ever get to hear Goliath actually speak) as they and their friends Jimmy, Jonathan, Teddy, Nick and Cisco explore the Good News of God's Love through common everyday situations. Eventually, a 2004 revival, Davey and Goliath's Snowboard Christmas, was produced in part for the ABC-Owned Television Stations, but it never really recaptured the magic of the original.

We're grateful, I think, for all that Art Clokey developed for the world of children's television. On this, what would have been his 90th Birthday, let us take a brief moment to celebrate a man who did more with a mere can of Play-Doh than even the most unsuspecting 4-year-old ever could --- and turned the fruits of what he did into what most of us today still call "utter genius!"

Post-Medieval Festival Thoughts, and Lessons in How Not to Stink!

2011-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

After doing the Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park and spending a happy Sunday in the company of King Tiberias and Queen Sybella of Jerusalem, I have to tell you, this was a totally delicious start to the 10th month for yours truly.

Unfortunately, I would like to advise you folks not to try to do the stuff that I do unless you're properly prepared to handle the challenges I handle.

After a long Sunday of doing me bloomin' job, I knew when I realized: " 'Tis a wise Wizard who knows when he stinks --- and, frankly, I now officially STINK!" Needless to say, I had to go back to the ol' apartment and pretty much take a long overdue shower! Let's face it, kids, bathtime is not a thing to miss; then again, back in ye day, Merlin had not access to a deodorant that made him macho!

(Hmmm.... I wonder if the Horrible Histories bunch can do a song about 'macho King Arthur.')

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Royal Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2011-10-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey there, World of WarCraft fans! We are so juiced up: the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl and the whole bunch, are doing the closing night of BlizzCon at the Anaheim, California Convention Center! and you can bet that even I, King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge, am thirsting to get Davy boy's autograph!

In fact, we've packed BlizzCon.com with so much stuff --- photos, virtual pets, a full schedule and tons of happenings for you guys to enjoy --- Man, we've got way too much happening here at Blizzard Entertainment's fabulous World Headquarters, here in beautiful, downtown Irvine, California --- and even I can't make sense of it all! Just visit all our sites, kids, and drink it all in! Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

The Fall TV Season: Blackwolf Ponders

2011-10-05T09:27:00.001-07:00

"Hi folks! We're NBC, and let's face it, our shows suck. Frankly, we haven't a decent --- read, REAL big hit show since The Cosby Show, and basically, you probably just want the old NBC back. Look, we screwed up on the whole Jay Leno thing, and we're fine with that. But hey, even a network gets stupid, y'know!"

In case you Mortals tuned in late, they pulled the plug on The Playboy Club, and they're gonna replace it with a prime-time newsmagazine called Rock Center with Brian Williams. Why do I find all this so bloomin' underwhelming? Because, kids, when you're Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, and television becomes so icky of late that it gets to a point where you just don't wanna watch it anymore, that's where you have to say:

Y'know what? Let's NOT all be there......

Well, no more rants from me for a while. Here's Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge.

Horrible Histories: A Tribute

2011-09-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

In the annals of the BBC's long history, three beloved children's programmes have forged legends that are discussed by millions across the cosmos. The first of these, Doctor Who, obviously needs no introduction; then came Pat Keysell and Tony Hart's Vision On, where visual expression for the hearing-impaired was the order of the day ......

And now, joining those two icons of BBC family programming, and at only the tender age of three, the fabulous and incredible universe that is Horrible Histories!

Based upon the books created by Terry Deary (published in the U.S. by Scholastic), the show has been driving the planet bonkers since its premiere in 2009. The footage and music videos posted on YouTube have proven to be big hits on both sides of the Atlantic; and the ensemble cast --- Matthew Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Jim Howick, Martha Howe-Douglas, Ben Willibond, Laurence Rickard, Lawry Lewin, Sarah Hadland, Dominique Moore and Alice Lowe --- have become such delightful legends, they've even taken over the BBC Proms at the Royal Albert Hall!

Needless to say, your Dragonmaster just can't get enough of the HH crew! Which can only mean ONE thing:

Horrible Histories: The Movie. You know it's coming. 'Nuff said.

Some More Thoughts Prior to the Medieval Festival

2011-09-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

Y'know, kids, there's a whole bloomin' lot that can push a Mage over the edge; especially when you wanna keep things under control. Consider our 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park. I see that we have a sizable round-up as far as this year's Cast o' Characters goes: of course, I know that Don Tomas and Lady Anne of Sussex (Tom and Patty Darmsteadt) will lead us in the Children's Parade; old Friar Nyp (Lesley Retzer) will be scoping around, seeking out souls to rescue; the Salomone Trio; the New York Scottish Pipes and Drums; Marco the Magician; the Knights of Round Table Productions will battle on their mightiest steeds; even me olde ferocious Knight, Captain Zorikh, will offer another glorious lesson in the fine art of swordplay --- and, as ever, the SCA's Eastern Kingdom will send along its finest representatives.

Except, of course, the newly-crowned King and Queen, Gregor von Heisler and Kiena Stewart. For eons now, I've been grumpy because the new Eastern King and Queen never show up to the Medieval Festival (except for the year Konrad and Brenwen did show up, if only to learn more of me); everyone else in the Line of the East's Kings and Queens has been a total no-show! Drat!

There are, and yes, I'm gonna boast here, three (sometimes four) members of Ye Cast o' Characters that are missing from the proceedings: Their Majesties, King Tiberias and Queen Sybella of Jerusalem, along with meself and Sir David of Poole, their banner-bearer (Sir David, citing ye olde scheduling conflict, shan't make it this year) --- the Royal Court of Jerusalem! Why we've never been invited by dear Dennis to have our character and Mundane names included amongst the Medieval Festival Cast is beyond me; and I have long been a supporter of the Festival for all of its 27 years! And this year, I shall be the one with the Dragon --- namely, me fiery partner from Scotland, Sir Aragorn --- despite the fact that once more, I will have to face the prospect of being the one and only full-time Wizard in attendance at the Festival. Happily, Sir Aragorn and I will be spending much of our time with Their Majesties, so the burden will be, thank goodness, a wee bit less stressful.

Well, enough nonsense, Mortals. I shall see ye all out thither on Sunday. And, as ever, may Fortune favor the foolish (that would be me).

BREAKING NEWS: Boathouse Strike Ends; Peace to Be Restored to Bethesda Fountain?

2011-09-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

Moments ago, as reported by The New York Times:

The bitter, boisterous 44-day strike at Central Park's Boathouse Restaurant has ended, with the two sides announcing earlier this morning that they'd reached a tentative four-year union deal.

Dean Poll, the facility's owner, along with the union and Bob Steel, Deputy Mayor for Economic Development, made the announcement earlier this morning. Poll apparently had threatened to shut the Boathouse down if the union continued to insist upon what he considered extravagant demands. As you might expect, terms of the deal were not immediately disclosed. Doubtless Mr. Poll had seen the writing on the wall once the National Labor Relations Board's attorneys had threatened him that they'd file a legal complaint charging the Boathouse with illegally threatening and questioning its own employees, along with otherwise punishing some 15 workers for backing the union.

That's all well and good, but it brings a larger question to light, dearests: will this news benefit the future of we who make the fans happy in the immediate vicinity of Bethesda Fountain proper? Clearly, I'm gonna have more to say about this; so will, I suspect, John Boyd and his family, along with dear Meta the Harpist and her dulcimer-playing husband, Arles. Do bear with us, loyal fans, as we attempt to deal with the ramifications of this news in our own separate ways.

Some Thoughts Prior to the 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park

2011-09-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

Well, Mortals, in less than a week or two, I shall once again face the prospect --- not so alarming this year, thank goodness! --- of being the one and only full-time Wizard in attendance at our 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park, in the shadow of the Cloisters Museum on Margaret Corbin Circle, at the very highest point in Northern Manhattan, past the George Washington Bridge.

What makes everything easier for me now, as opposed to last year, is the fact that I shall once more have King Tiberias and Queen Sybella at my side. We are, after all, the Royal Court of Jerusalem; and if you have not yet been invited by His Majesty to join our Facebook presence, I welcome you, and humbly invite you to do so.

We will be joined by the New York Scottish Pipes, Drums and Dancers; members of the New York Caledonian Club and the New York Traditional Music Society; and of course, most of the talent from our sister Faire, the New York Renaissance Faire Sterling Forest. Our dear friends, Don Tomas and Lady Anne of Sussex (Tom and Patty Darmstadt) will, as ever, lead the Children's Parade; whilst the Eastern Kingdom of the SCA, shall send a few of their finest representatives. Alas, the newly-crowned Eastern King and Queen, Gregor and Kiena, shall not be with us on the Sunday in question, which makes your Dragonmaster really grumpy.

As always, the Medieval Festival is co-sponsored by the Washington Heights/Inwood Development Corporation and the New York City Parks Department. We hope you'll like some of those who'll be in on the Festival's proceedings; please be sure to say hello to this ancient old Mage (that would be me; I'll be the one with the furry brown Dragon --- namely, my partner, Sir Aragorn).

Anywho, do have a look at the BBC's Horrible Histories; I've seen and liked all their YouTube footage, and have had a jolly laugh as a result! (Did I mention that the show's most popular cast members all have their own presences on Twitter, too?)

Master Blackwolf

Blackwolf Ponders: Is Fox Dead?

2011-09-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

Billionaire and icon Ted Turner, speaking with Bloomberg Television the other night, says that fellow super-rich guy Rupert Murdoch will eventually be forced to relinquish his post as CEO of News Corp in the wake of the recent controversial phone-hacking scandal that forced the 168-year-old London-based tabloid News of the World out of existence. "I think he's gonna hafta step down," Ted said. "He hadn't survived anything like this. This is serious ..... he should have known. He was chairman of the board. He's responsible. I took responsibility when I ran my company. You never heard me say, 'Well, I didn't know.' "

In case you Mortals tuned in late, News Corp has come under fire over allegations that the top guns in charge of News of the World had hacked into the voice-mails of murder victims and had paid off the top brass at Scotland Yard for certain stories. The resulting controversy saw the parent company not only shutting down News of the World, but also dropping its $12.2 billion bid to achieve total control of its British Sky Broadcasting unit.

Ted, lad, I feel that I have to agree with you on this one. Indeed, when you controlled Turner Broadcasting, you were always responsible --- from the days when you founded the Goodwill Games to the time you had the idea for Captain Planet --- no one in corporate America was more a responsible gentleman than you. Alas, these days, corporate responsibility in America today seems to be little more than an afterthought, and far too easily ignored. This is why, back in ye day, King Arthur made that Round Table the centerpiece of Camelot --- because he felt the need to make damn certain that his Knights fought and battled and did their thing in a responsible, meaningful manner.

Why do you think Spider-man continues to live by that mantra to this day: ".....With great power comes great responsibility." Yet, by the same token, it's also the reason Voldemort makes the opposite argument: "There is neither good nor evil; there is only power, and those too weak to seek it." In a Multiverse post-9/11, the time Dumbledore foresaw of yore is now upon us: when we will have to choose between that which is right and that which is easy.

What choice will YOU make, Mortals? Something worth thinking about.

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Royal Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2011-09-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

What's happenin', World of WarCraft fans? King Magni Bronzebeard here, chiilin' out in my Throne Room in Dun Morogh's Royal Palace, doing the usual Throne thing and stuff. Well, hope you guys had a fabulous Talk Like a Pirate Day the other day. Meanwhile, back here in beautiful, downtown Irvine, California, we've been busy doing some major-league post-Cataclysm repairs --- whilst and at the same time getting everyone ready for Darkmoon Faire. Not sure what all the buzz is about? Well, don't you worry, kid, because we got more info about when you start getting busy clickin' as shown. You always know where we are, so you don't have to be afraid of anything!

Meanwhile, we're getting BlizzCon ready to be updated so you guys can handle what'll go down a few weeks from right now, Friday and Saturday, October 21st and 22nd, at the Anaheim, California Convention Center, a skosh or two from the Disneyland Resort. Hope you'll keep loggin' on to all the Blizzard websites to find out more about everything!

Gotta go, though. Y'know how it is, the usual Royal Matters of State and stuff. Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

Reflections on Those Who Just Plain Aren't Funny

2011-09-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Alas, dearests, there comes a time to assess the dismal state of American comedy. Please consider what has now become the costliest production in the entire history of Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Entertainment: Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star, the incredibly horrible saga of an ordinary young man who one day discovers that his parents were porn stars during the early 1970's --- and then accordingly sets out to follow in the footsteps of Mumsey and Daddy, if thou wouldst.

It pains your humble Dragonmaster to share with ye this response as posted on PerezHilton.com:

"The Adam Sandler-produced film Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star has received a very rare 0% approval rating on the website Rotten Tomatoes. Even though the movie received moderate to pretty good ratings, it opened to a pretty sad $1.5 million in its opening weekend. What's even sadder is that it's one of the worst major studio openings EVER. This sounds like a major catastrophic fail. At least, Halle Berry as Catwoman got a 10% rating from Rotten Tomatoes."

The horrifying truth, dear children, is simply this: Adam Sandler is simply no longer funny. Then again, neither are Mike Myers, Jim Carrey or even (ach!) Eddie Murphy. Basically, nobody around here hath bothered to learn the lessons of The Love Guru: you can concoct a basic story concept all you want, but unless you can entertain --- TASTEFULLY, mind ye! --- the public, you're not gonna get the audience you want. Hence, Mike hath become so desperate to stay funny (read: relevant) that he has already signed on to reprise one of his more iconic roles --- Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery; meanwhile, as everyone knows by now, the Academy has chosen Eddie Murphy to host the 84th Annual Academy Awards (which, I suspect, insiders are describing as a last desperate act on the Academy's part to make their own attempt to remain relevant in a digital world).

There was a time, I would wot, when Mortals didst laugh at tastelessness for its own sake; in the few years that have passed, unfortunately, we've had time to dismiss tastelessness and see it for what it truly is: horrible attempts at humor designed to please the lowest common denominator and the shortest attention span. Even our own Father of Magecraft, Merlin, foresaw this type of silliness amongst ye Hollywood types; one would presume, say I, that even King Arthur's Magician had the foresight to check out The Hollywood Reporter and Variety!

Nay, good Lords and Ladies: unless thou canst reach out, hold and ENTERTAIN thy audience, baby, you ain't got one chance in hell, sweetheart!

Such is the wisdom of Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, Lord of Talisker. Ye who wouldst challenge these remarks --- ye knows where to find me. Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Blackwolf figures stuff out fer the fans!

2011-09-07T07:14:00.001-07:00

Well, kiddos, looks like it's official: Eddie Murphy shall indeed host the 84th Annual Academy Awards! Ah yes, Donkey's fans will, I imagine, have a party within the next few months, I shouldn't wonder. Don Mischer will again executive produce and direct the telecast next February; joining him will be filmmaker Brett Ratner, who has cast Eddie in his new thriller-comedy Tower Heist, which I think will be due later in in 2012.

One may expect the usual suspects to join Don behind the scenes: Bruce Vilanch, head writer; Roy Christopher, production designer; Bob Dickinson, lighting designer; Ret Turner and Pete Menefee, principal costume designers; Douglass M. Stewart, Jr., head of film package segments; Danette Herman, coordinating producer --- believe me, dearests, you need but visit Variety.com and THR.com that ye might get the full gist of what shall transpire at the Kodak Theatre next.

Meanwhile, I have found meself in the power of the mighty force that is Vegan Black Metal Chef. Not since Biker Billy Cooks with Fire has one man so taken the power of cooking and made it so incredibly cool! By Merlin's beard, the weirdness has indeed taken its toll!

As for your humble Dragonmaster, I shall be doing my usual rounds for the balance of September before preparing for my two big October gigs, the 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park, wherein Sir Aragorn, my Dragon companion, will join me and the King and Queen of Jerusalem as the new Royal Court; and then, of course, the 39th Annual Greenwich Village Halloween Parade. Once more, PIX/11 and NY1 will be sharing joint telecast coverage; 11's news team begins their coverage at 7 p.m. and extends into the PIX/11 News @ 10; whereas NY1 once again lets their morning dude Pat Kiernan stay up in primetime, starting at 8 p.m.

Meanwhile, me movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, will, if certain sillies get off their collective butts, have a rough cut prepared by the end of October. By then, I'll have finished me duties for 2011. All I can say, as ever, is stay ye tun'd!

Master Blackwolf

And now, a pre-Talk Like a Pirate Day message from Blackbeard:

2011-09-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ahoy, bilge rats! Blackbeard, the Most Dangerous Pirate on Earth 'ere. Now shut up an' lissen:

I be really disappointed in ye, New York! Fer 26 accursed an' dusty years, I bin Corporate Mascot an' Principal Spokespirate fer Electric Pirates Entertainment; and in all that time, I ain't seen one scurvy man Jack er Jane o' ye within the length and breadth o' th' Five Boroughs toot horn number one in the name o' Hinternational Talk Like a Pirate Day! Aaarrgh! Y'know, Disney and Mr. Bruckheimer --- not to mention, dear, sweet Ian McShane, wonderful Miss Penny Rose, and all the blarsted scum at Hindustrial Light n' Magic --- alla 'em went out o' their way to make me look so good fer Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, me first major studio movie appearance in more'n 50 years .... and what do you Mortal movie critics do?

Ya dis me first great shot at restorin' me proper Pirate glory, the 15th time in Disney history that the black banner o' th' Jolly Roger has bin 'oisted o'er th' airspace o' 500 South Buena Vista Street in Burbank, Callyforny! How dare ye! Aaarrrgh! Well, I can take a little comfort in that Mr. McShane has shot some hintroductory footage portrayin' me Piratical personage fer th' various versions o' Pirates of the Caribbean at th' Disney Parks, warnin' ye lubbers about how ye should beware o' what ye'll hexperience thither!

Well, inasmuch as I be Blackbeard, I be lettin' ya know now: I ain't standin' fer it, ya blarsted jackanapes! If them Disney Parks folks 'ave their way, which they will, I'll be joinin' Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones as the three Pirates characters the fans'll be wantin' ta take pictures with!

Now c'mon, New York! Get off yer scurvy 'igh horse an' 'oist yer knickers to the nearest waterin' hole what be havin' the chutzpah to properly cellybrate Talk Like a Pirate Day --- er else! ('Nuff said.)

Yers etc.,

CAPTAIN ED'ARD ("BLACKBEARD") TEACH
Corporate Mascot/Principal Spokespirate
Electric Pirates Entertainment, Inc./EPE Holdings, Inc.
New York City, USA

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011: The Chronicle (@ Long Last!), Episode Three

2011-08-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

Well, here it be, as promised, dearests: the exciting conclusion to your humble Dragonmaster's look back at the 83rd Annual Academy Awards! Huzzah!

Now we've covered all of the key awards, except for Best Animated Feature, Best Animated Short, and Best Art Direction/Set Decoration and Best Cinematography. Let's start with the animation awards, as presented by Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.

There were basically two reasons that Disney/Pixar put out Toy Story 3 in 2010: One --- to win the Best Animated Feature Oscar (which is usually presented solely to that film's Director, in this case Lee Unkrich); two --- Nobody. Beats. Pixar. EVER.

Here, then, Lee's remarks on accepting the award: "I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but thank you to the Academy. I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the vision of three incredible guys: John Lasseter, Ed Catmull and Steve Jobs, the founders of Pixar Animation Studios, which, by the way, is the most awesome place on the planet to make movies. .... To every single person who had absolutely anything to do with making Toy Story 3 and getting it out into the world, I share this with you ... and finally, thank you to audiences all over the world who came out in historic numbers and embraced a movie about talking toys that hopefully had something very human to say."

In the Australian-made animated short The Lost Thing, a young boy discovers a strange creature while strolling along the beach. Showing some compassion, the lad decides to find a home for the thing. "Our film is about a creature that no one pays any attention to," explained producer-director Shaun Tan, "so this is wonderfully ironic. This award really goes to our producer, Sophie Byrne, the real champion of this project for the past 10 years." Andy Ruhemann, the co-director of the film, dedicated his share of the award "to all lost things everywhere." Ooooookay!

Tom Hanks, as noted last episode, presented Art Direction and Cinematography. Robert Stromberg, Production Designer; and Set Decorator Karen O'Hara triumphed for their work on Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, wherein Alice, now aged 19, escapes from her imminent marriage to an obnoxious Victorian aristocrat, only to once more tumble down the legendary rabbit hole, where, she soon discovers, the weirdos of Wonderland have been waiting for her return.

Stromberg was the more overzealous of the two, thanking all in the Alice Art Department and wondering why he didn't lost that twenty pounds. Hmph!

Inception won the last key tech Oscar of the evening, and here's what Wally Pfister thought: "Good God, what have you done? This is a phenomenal honor for me. Thank you, Academy, for this great honor and for the respect you have shown for all cinematographers. I gotta take a breath here for a minute. Where's that thing that shows how much time? --- There it goes! None of what I did would have been possible without the incredible vision of my master, Christopher Nolan. His work has inspired me for 12 years and continues to; he's a brillant filmmaker, as we all know..."

Well, we're up to the Big Six Oscars now. We begin with Best Director, presented by Hilary Swank, and the previous year's winner --- the first female Best Director Oscar winner Kathryn Bigelow (whom I'm still mad at for having filched Avatar's thunder!). Anyway, here's Tom Hooper's bedtime story, for those of you Mortals who are into such things:

"Most of all, thank you to my parents, my Mum and Dad, who are in the audience tonight. And I know there's been a whole lot of thanking of mothers, but this is slightly different because in 2007, my Mum was invited by some Australian friends --- she's an Australian in London --- to a Fringe theatre play reading of an unproduced, unrehearsed play entitled The King's Speech. Now, she's never been invited to a play reading in her entire life before, and she almost didn't go because it didn't sound exactly promising. But thank God she did, because she came home, called me up and said, 'Tom, I think I've found your next film.' So, with this tonight, I honor you; and the moral of the story is: Listen to your mother."

Your Dragonmaster, of course, always listens to his dear Mumsey.

It has long been Academy tradition that the previous year's winners in the Acting awards serve as presenters in the same category on the following year's Oscar telecast, and 2010 was (somewhat) no exception. Sandra Bullock presented Actor in a Leading Role; Jeff Bridges, Actress in a Leading Role; Reese Witherspoon, Actor in a Supporting Role; and 94-year-old Kirk Douglas, Actress in a Supporting Role. At this point, I'll just let you read the thoughts of the winners, starting with....

MELISSA LEO, THE FIGHTER: "OMG! Oh wow, really, really, really, really, really, truly wow! I know there's a lotta people that said a lotta real nice things to me for several months now, but I'm just shaking in my boots here. OK, alright, thank you David O. Russell; I wanna thank the actors .... Ok, yeah, I am kinda speechless. Golly sakes, there's people up there, too. .... Thank you so much, opening your hearts to all of us to make this film. I wanna thank, the very most of all, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the Board of Governors, and all their members, many of whom are here tonight. This has been an extraordinary journey in getting to know what the Academy is all about, and first and foremost, thank you, Academy --- because it's all about selling motion pictures and respecting the work!"

CHRISTIAN BALE, THE FIGHTER: "Bloody hell! Wow, what a room full of talented and inspirational people; and what the hell am I doing here in the midst of you? It's such an honor. David O. Russell, what a great spirit, you know, on the set. Just fantastic! And thank you so much, mate, for making the work that all of us actors did actually mean something. Y'know, I mean, that's the director's job of translating it all to the audience and making it all mean something. Melissa, I'm not gonna drop the f-bomb like she did; I've done that plenty before. Dicky's out there somewhere, mate --- eh, mate? You're the best; I can't wait --- and listen, he's had a wonderful story, and I can't wait to see the next chapter of his story, y'know? If you wanna be a champ, if you wanna get trained with him, go meet with him. DickEcklund.com, go do it. Check him out, OK. Alright, he deserves it. So many movies are just brilliant, but nobody ever knows about them, y'know. So we're so lucky to be here tonight and have people recognize that....."

NATALIE PORTMAN, BLACK SWAN: "Thank you so much to the Academy. This is insane; and I truly, sincerely wish that this prize tonight was to get to work with my fellow nominees. I'm so in awe of you! I'm so grateful to be able to get to do the job that I do! I love it so much! I wanna thank my parents, who are right there, first and foremost, for giving me my life and for giving me the opportunity to work from such an early age and showing me every day how to be a good human being by example. And I wanna thank my team who works with me every day....."

COLIN FIRTH, THE KING'S SPEECH: "I have a feeling that my career has just peaked. My deepest thanks to the Academy. I'm afraid I must warn you that I'm experiencing stirrings. Somewhere in the upper abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance moves. Joyous as they may be for me, it would be extremely problematic if they make it to my legs before I get off stage. So I'm gonna do my best to to be brief with my gratitude, first for being on this extraordinary list of fellow nominees. Something quite formidable and possibly the greatest honor of this --- and, of course, Harvey, who first tok me on 20 years ago, when I was a mere child sensation. And those who've been rooting for me back home; and to the Anglo-Italian-American-Canadian axis which makes up my family, and Livia, who put up with all my fleeting delusions of royalty, and whom I hold responsible for this, and everything that's good that's happened to me since I first met her. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have some impulses I have to tend to backstage. Thank you very much."

The most recent Oscar telecast tradition has been to have the final award of the evening, Best Picture, presented by the most powerful man in the Multiverse, alias Steven Spielberg. And when the time came for the King to ascend to his throne, producers Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin were there with their tributes.

There were a few memorable announcements, too, the biggest of them coming from Anne Sweeney, President and CEO, Disney/ABC Television Group and Disney President and CEO Bob Iger, that the Academy Awards were going to stay on ABC for the foreseeable future. Still the one, indeed! There was the return of beloved and glorious Billy Crystal, whose presence makes every Oscar show worthwhile. And even old Bob Hope showed up to make a somewhat ghostly guest appearance!

But no moment on Oscar Night meant more than this one:

JAMES FRANCO: "Anne and I have had an amazing time tonight, helping celebrate so many extraordinary films and filmmakers. Wherever in the world you've been watching, I hope you've enjoyed it, too."

ANNE HATHAWAY: "And as Oscar turns 83, we're reminded once again how each generation rediscovers the magic of the movies for themselves. And whether you're one of the fabulous Fifth-Grade Chorus from P.S. 22 in Staten Island, New York --- or an Oscar winner tonight, our final song reminds us that dreams really DO come true!"

Y'know, ya gotta work real hard, even on Hollywood's Biggest Night, to make even an old Mage like me blubber tears of unexpected joy --- and these wonderful kids did just that! Just this one moment alone is reason enough as to why the 83rd Annual Academy Awards has been nominated for nine Primetime Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Direction of a Variety, Musical or Comedy Special!

Anywho, that'll do it for Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011. Hope you've all enjoyed it. Now, if you'll all kindly excuse me, there are a few Mortals I must go grumble at for making me late when I should have shared all this with you on the immediate morning after! Toodles for the moment!

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011: The Chronicle (@ Long Last!), Episode Two

2011-08-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

Continuing now our chronicle of the 83rd Annual Academy Awards: Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law took the stage to present two more awards --- Visual Effects and Film Editing. Paul Franklin and Chris Corbould spoke on behalf of themselves and their Inception teammates Andy Lockley and Peter Bebb. First, Paul: "It feels like that top is still spinning, but I really don't care anymore. Thanks, my producers, Matt Plummer and Mike Chambers; the brilliant visual effects team at Double Negative back in London; mum and dad back in Cheshire, and to the Academy for this." Chris, meanwhile, shared the award with the teams in L.A., in Canada, in France, in Morocco, and all the rest of it.

Meanwhile, the social network's two editors, Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter, were a little bit more perceptive with their thank-you comments. Angus began by thanking all whom Aaron Sorkin had thanked, saving his last few thoughts for the film's director, David Fincher: "It's indescribable working with you; and thank you for starting my career 20-odd years ago. Also, a big thank-you to our wives who allow us to have incredibly passionate love affairs with our families and our work." Kirk, meanwhile, addressed his thank-you thoughts to his daughter Bronte, saying: "Find something you truly love doing, and great things can happen. The hard part is, you gotta meet someone like Fincher. Cheers!"

In some cases, a few of the night's presenters played the one presenter/two awards game; and Cate Blanchett had that one, the two awards in question being Makeup and Costume Design.

Rick Baker is the Best Makeup Oscar's elder statesman. The Wolfman marks his 12th consecutive nomination and seventh win in the category that started with him in 1981. "I'm smiling so big, my face hurts," said Rick, who thanked his beloved wife Silvia for "being so right. I'm so glad I listened to you, honey. Go, Dave." This is just Dave Elsey's second nomination, having previously been nominated for Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. "Thank you Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Universal Studios for their legacy of horror monsters that we love so much. It was always my ambition to one day lose the Oscar to Rick Baker --- this is even better."

Another veteran Oscar winner is costume designer Colleen Atwood. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland marks her ninth nomination, yet only her third win. Her thoughts:

"The story of Alice in Wonderland was described by its publishers in 1865 as a story valued for its rare imagination, priceless humor, and power to transport the reader into a world of pure fantasy ---- a gift to us all. The heart of any movie lies with its director, and I've been incredibly lucky on this and many films to work with the singular Tim Burton. Tim's imagination, along with the amazing cast --- Johnny's incandescent Hatter; Mia's Alice for all girls, all times: Helena's fearless, big-headed Queen; and our crystalline snowflake princess, Anne Hathaway, made my job a delight. We had the support of a production team headed by Richard Zanuck and Katterli Frauenfelder, and supported by Joe Roth, Suzanne and Jennifer Todd, and Disney --- but I couldn't have done it without my team: Christine Cantella and the entire group."

Marisa Tomei was the host for the Sci-Tech Academy Awards segment. It's the part of the show reserved for the nerdier folks in the television audience. As usual, the telecast had no time to identify those Oscar winners, but as you Mortals know by now, that don't sit too well with ol' Blackwolf. So, pay attention, goodlies. These are the nerds we will one day want to become:

TECHNICAL ACHIEVEMENT:

Greg Ercolano, creator of an entire network of software systems culminating in the Rush Render Queue Management System (RQMS).

David M. Laur, developer of the Alfred RQMS.

Chris Allen, Gautham Krishnamurti, Mark A. Brown and Lance Kimes --- developers of Queue, a robust and scalable approach to render queue management.

Florian Kanz, creator of the robust and highly scalable distributed architecture of the ObaQ RQMS.

Eric Tabellion and Arnauld Lamorlette, who created a CG bounce lighting methodology that is practical at feature-film scale.

Tony Clark, Alan Rogers, Neil Wilson and Rory McGregor for the software design and continuing development of cineSync, a tool for remote collaboration and review of digital visual effects.

SCIENTIFIC & ENGINEERING:

Dr. Mark Sagar, for his early and continuing development of influential facial motion retargeting solutions.

Mark Noel for the design, engineering and development; and John Frazier for the contributions to the design and safety features, of the NAC Servo Winch System.

Jim Rodnunsky, Alex MacDonald and Mark Chapman, creators of the Cablecam 3D volumetric suspended cable camera technology.

Timmy Drnec, Ben Britten Smith and Matt Davis, creators of the Spydercam 3D volumetric suspended cable camera technology.

Congratulations, Sci-Tech Oscar winners! We wanna grow up and be all of you one of these days!

Helen Mirren and Russell Brand were the next presenters; their category was Foreign Language Film. The winner was Denmark's In a Better World, where we're introduced to schoolboys Christian and Elias. Unwilling victims of a recent violent incident, the boys' fathers at first fail to properly grasp the full implications of their sons' actions. While Anton, Elias' father --- an idealistic doctor often absent from home as he struggles to work in an African refugee camp --- seeks to communicate his commitment to nonviolence to our young heroes, the troubled Chris still dismisses those ideals as a sign of weakness.

It's Denmark's eighth nomination in this category and only its third overall win. Speaking on behalf of cast and crew was the film's director, Susanne Bier: "This is a REAL Oscar? Thank you so much, the Academy, what an honor. I am so truly honored and grateful and happy, thank you so much. All my creative partners, whether they are here in this room with me or back home in Denmark and Sweden: this one belongs to all of you as much as it belongs to me."

Susanne, dearest: you're in the bloomin' Kodak Theatre! Don't EVER refer to the Kodak Theatre as a mere "room!"

Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman took to the stage next for Best Original Score. The unlikely partnership of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross brought an unexpected beat to the social network; though your Dragonmaster doesn't exactly think that we'll be humming the main title theme after seeing the DVD. Anywho, Trent:

"Wow, is this really happening? When we finished our work on the social network, we were very proud of our work, and we're just so happy to be involved with this particular film. And to be standing up here in this company is both humbling and flattering beyond words. I'd like to especially thank the Academy for recognizing our work here --- and thank you so much, David Fincher for the opportunity." Atticus improvised his thanks a bit, thanking his partner, his wife Claudia and his three kids.

Jennifer Hudson presented Best Original Song. There were several performers here. Starting with Gwyneth Paltrow, singing "Coming Home" from Country Strong: Randy Newman (on the Oscars AGAIN, with his 20th nomination, including his 2001 win for Monsters, Inc.), singing "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3; Mandy Moore with "I See the Light" from Tangled; and finally, A.R. Rahman, singing "If I Rise" from 127 Hours. (I couldn't figure out Shri Rahman's vocal stylings; please someone, send me the lyrics to that particular song!)

Anyway, Toy Story 3 struck a chord that night, I would wot. Here's what Randy, winning his second Oscar in this category, had to say:

"I'm very grateful for this and surprised; my percentages aren't all that great. I've been nominated 20 times, and this is only the second time I've won. At the Luncheon that the Academy has for all the nominees, they have like a Randy Newman chicken by this time; Don Mischer says that it's not really good television to take some list out of your pocket and start thanking a lot of people. It's not my style anyway, but it is in this case. I mean, to have worked for Pixar doing the six pictures I've done ... I want this to be good television so badly, as you can see. I've been on this show any number of times, and I've slowed it down almost every time. No wonder they've nominated only four songs! How about Cinematography? So there's five! They could find a fifth song from someone! But the hell with it! Think it might have beat me. Anyway, I thank you all very much for this. The Academy and its Music Branch have always been enormously very kind to me, and I love you all. Thank you very much."

And with that, kiddos, that'll do it for Episode Two. Next up: Tom Hanks with Art Direction and Cinematography; the Animation awards; the Big Six Oscars --- and a tribute to those fabulous kids from P.S. 22! Be here!

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011: The Chronicle (@ Long Last!), Episode One

2011-08-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, finally, and at long last, I have some time to tell you about the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway, with Yoda himself --- Tom Kane --- in the announcer's booth. Huzzah! Basically, it was all about the King --- that would be The King's Speech, dearests. So, how shall we begin?

Well, as usual, the dum-dums from ABC7/Los Angeles bored us with their usual half-hour weirdfest for the ABC-Owned and Operated Stations; then GMA's Robin Roberts took over for the Academy-sanctioned live preview, now a full 90 minutes long! Then Tom introduced the opening wherein James and Anne journeyed into the mind of Alec Baldwin, complete with Morgan Freeman narrating!

Since we're gonna break things down piece by piece, award by award, let's start with Documentary Short Subject and Live-Action Short, presented by Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhall. In Strangers No More, we visit the Bialik-Rogozin School in Tel Aviv, where children from some 48 countries, many of them refugees of war, confront the diversity of their new environment. Kirk Simon and Karen Goodman saluted those cool kids, their executive producer Lin Arison, Sheila Nevins of HBO (who somehow always gets thanked on Oscar Night a lot); Nancy Baker, co-producer-editor; Buddy Squires, cinematographer; the school's principal, Karen Tal --- and, as the Simon-Goodman Picture Company are a husband-and-wife team, they saved their last thanks for their own two children, Ollie and Allegra.

God of Love chronicles a love triangle between two musicians and a young woman who are thrust into romantic fantasy when one of the three discovers a collection of magical darts. Luke Matheny, wishing that he'd gotten a haircut, thanked NYU's Graduate Film Program, along with his cast --- Marian Brock, Chris Hirsh, Emily Young, Levi Abrino and the other members of the cast and crew, along with his mom, who did craft service for the film; and his girlfriend Sasha, who wrote the music in the film.

Matthew McConaughey and Scarlett Johannsen presented Sound Mixing/Re-recording and Sound Editing. Inception's team of Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick had lots to say; and Gary did most of the talking, thanking all the hard-working boom operators and utility sound teams who worked on the production crew. "Christopher Nolan is the architect with the soundtrack in every way," Gary went on to say. "He is the creative force behind every decision that we made, and so, this is as much of a win for him as it is for us." As for sound editor Richard King, he saluted Lee Smith, Emma Thomas, and his own sound editing team, along with wife Sue and son Sam.

Oprah hosted Best Documentary Feature --- because, let's face it, this was Oprah, and the Academy no doubt wanted to salute O on her Farewell Season, now encoring in certain local markets. Inside Job looks at the financial practices which laid the groundwork for the current global economic crisis and examines why those responsible for it are still in power.

Charles Ferguson: "Three years after a horrific financial crisis caused by massive fraud, not one single financial executive has gone to jail --- and that's wrong. This is also about the movies, of course, so thanks for this profound honor --- and let the record show that I'm not wearing jeans."

Audrey Marrs: "Having made only just two films, I still feel that Charles and I are newcomers to this community, but from the beginning, we've been made to feel welcome and supported --- and for this, I'm immensely grateful."

Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem did Original Screenplay and Screenplay Adaptation; David Seidler's The King's Speech follows the future King George VI of England as he struggles to cope with a paralyzing verbal stammer with the help of speech therapist Lionel Logue, who insists upon a level of familiarity with his Royal Patient that His Royal Highness is loath to allow. "My father always said to me, 'I would be a late bloomer.' I believe that I am the oldest person to win this particular award. I hope that that record is broken quickly and often," said our Mr. Seidler, who also thanked Her Present Majesty the Queen for not putting him into the Tower of London for using the Melissa Leo f-word. To stutterers across the world, the writer concluded, we now have our own voice --- and we have been heard!

As for Aaron Sorkin, who won for the social network, he found it impossible to describe what it was like being given the very award Paddy Chayefsky received some 35 years before for another movie with the word network in the title. "His was Original Screenplay; this one is an adaptation of a book by Ben Mezrich, so I'm accepting this on his behalf as well." After thanking the Sony Pictures folks and all the cast and crew, Aaron warned his young daughter Roxy: "Your father just won the Academy Award; I'm gonna hafta insist on some respect from your guinea pig. Thank you very much."

Well, that's it for Episode One. Coming up: Film Editing, Visual Effects, Sci-Tech and whatever else we can squeeze in. Be here!

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Royal Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2011-08-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

Greetings, World of WarCraft fans! King Magni Bronzebeard here --- and hey, it's been a while since I last spoke to you from here in the ol' Throne Room! Betcha you didn't think anything was goin' on here at Blizzard HQ in beautiful downtown Irvine, California, huh?

Well, BlizzCon's comin' up October 21st and 22nd at the usual stompin' grounds (a/k/a the Anaheim, California Convention Center, about a skosh or four from Disneyland), so we figured: Hey, here's a smashing thought: Let's give BlizzCon a site all its own. So we did, and here it is: us.battle.net/blizzcon/en/. News, info, updates, and three big contests: Fan Art, Movie and Original Song! Cool, huh? And you ain't gotta lotta time, Humans --- deadline for submissions to all three contests is August 29th! So I'd get busy craftin' some stuff if I were you! The Global Battle.net Invitational and GBL October Finals will be part of this year's party, along with vendors, our Costume Contest --- and, needless to say, kick-ass band to be named later!

And look for a lot of us Dwarves to be represented in the Big Weekend at Anaheim, too. When we get the photos posted at the parent site, we'll letcha know. Meanwhile, we got a new Cataclysm patch for ya. We call it Rage of the Firelands, Patch 4.2 --- and I don't mind tellin' ya it's gonna be sssssssmokin'!

Well, that's it for now. Gotta get my REO Speedwagon on. Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

Everybody grumble today!

2011-08-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

Never mind that it be Wednesday, Mortals! The world is spiraling completely out of control, and frankly, this Wizard is just about outta stamina. Am I bitter about stuff? I hear ye asking. Perhaps, but then again I can't catch break one around here. When my seven Wizardly bosses, the Grand High Istari, first recommended that I be transported into this insane asylum called New York, they charged me with a mission: to restore the Forces of Creativity and Imagination to a Byg Appyl that had sadly lost its way, particularly in the aftermath of 9/11. In the near-decade since, so many things have happened, and I myself have met so many interesting people --- by Merlin's beard, things stay interesting with each new dawn.

But alas! Since that hope-inspiring January some three-and-a-half years ago, when we all dared to give in to the fantasy of Obama as the custodian of Hope, horror, fear, misinterpretation and horrid manners on an unprecedently epic scale have manifested themselves. Post-9/11, we have become our own worst enemy --- and there have been, I must admit, times when even I, a mere Mage, have grown pretty tired of navigating through it all. Still, I manage because there's no one else capable of doing so. That said, I'm sure ye be wondering as to why today's post hath been titl'd "Everybody grumble today!"?

Put simply, we are a society of grumblers. Even King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, like Merlin himself, lived to grumble. I cannot imagine a more furious breed of exhibitors of anger mismanagement than you Mortals: All of which, of course, makes your Dragonmaster even more determined to fulfill the task the High Istari gave me. And dammit, I'm gonna stay true to that mission be it the last thing I do!

I remind ye anew, New York: We're stuck wi' each other --- and, as your Unofficial Wizard, I'm gonna bring Creativity and Imagination back to this town even if I have to make like Rambo! Hast thou a problem wi' that, m'Lord?

Good. I thought not. Here's Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge.

Blackwolfian Rant: What the Expletive Deleted is Bloomin' Wrong with this Crazy Place, Anyway?

2011-08-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

Y'know, kids, there would have been so much to tell you goodly gentles about concerning that which truly matters were it not for one simple truth:

As usual, there are forces at work determined to keep a great many of us from cherishing the wonders of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. And even I, Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, find meself at a loss to keep up with stuff. Doubtless I've been listening quite a lot to Mark Levin; as you know, he and I are at best the ONLY entities around here who even bother to so much as get it!

First of all, let's understand once more: the fantasy of this present President is over. His failures thus far have become so much dominant in the news that I have resigned meself to the fact that unless the Democrats and Republicans stop indulging in their respective fantasies which --- or so they would have us all believing --- might help us to rescue our own Nation, we will have indeed fallen prey to our own inner forces of doubt.

And as you all know, I've spent much time battling the forces of doubt, so that good honest common sense can prevail. But lately, good honest common sense has been besieged, and by forces that not even ONE Wizard can properly comprehend. These, then, are the things that make me wonder if the world is worth defending anymore these days.

In those times, then, I count on hope. REAL hope.

May I elaborate? Indeed I shall: Human hope. The hope that dwells within our own secret hearts --- giving of our talents, learning how to stand up and fight for our beliefs, no matter what. Taking on whatever challenge comes your way, and knowing you can make the most of it. And especially, believing in something far, far greater than yourself. I have espoused those values for as long as I've been Dragonmaster, by Merlin's beard --- and it's high time I reminded you all of that.

And now I think I just have. So, what trouble can foolish ol' Blackwolf get into next, I wonder? Hmmmm......

A Few Guest Blogs, A Milestone, and the End of a Bookstore

2011-07-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

Before we begin today, Mortals, the inevitable has at long last reached Time Warner Center as well as Madison Square Garden: Borders Bookstores has placed itself up for liquidation, and accordingly will begin shutting down its Penn Plaza and Columbus Circle locations here in Manhattan.

Several other Borders bookstores across the nation will also close their doors forever, thus ending the story of Tom and Louis Borders, and how they transformed a minor book-selling establishment in Ann Arbor, Michigan into the nation's second-largest bookseller chain. But the Internet, the increasingly powerful mania surrounding the e-book and other factors were things they could not use to their advantage; thus, a celebrated book legend will be shelved for what may well be the last time. Alas, dear Mortals, the power of reading is becoming taken advantage of for no good reason. Was it not Spielberg, dearests, who said that only a nation of readers can inspire a generation of writers?

Something worth thinking about, dear children.....

But enough for the moment, as far as lamentations go. There is a milestone to be shared here, and for that aspect of our blog for this day, I turn things over to our dear and ferocious Blackbeard. Take it awa', if thou wouldst, dear Capitaine.

Thank'ee, Blackwolf lad. As fer ye, bilge rats: Blackbeard, the Most Dangerous Pirate on Earth 'ere. Now shut up an' lissen:

26 accurs'd an' dusty years ago, I became Corporate Mascot and Principal Spokespirate fer a modest li'l hinterprise named Electric Pirates Entertainment. By ye same token, thanks ter its Commodore, one Richard Washington by name, I didst join up --- regrettably, at first, mind ye! --- wi' that fraternity ye landlubbers call ye Goode Guys. Aaargh!

In them dark early days, Mr. W and me, we thought we were the only Pirate Lovers left on Earth, sez I. Then one, two, three or maybe four miracles happened: The first was a movie called Cutthroat Island. The second was a little magazine named No Quarter Given. The third: Cap'n Jack Sparrow and company, them o' Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. And last but definitely not least, Cap'n Slappy an' Ol' Chumbucket, Foundin' Buccaneers o' Hinternational Talk Like a Pirate Day! The efforts and tales told by all these scurvy dogs helped Richard n' me sail through loads n' loads o' ruff waters; and I wants ta take a moment to say thank'ee and fair winds to alla ye landlubbers what made our first 26 years of Electric Pirates Entertainment possible! Aargh! Now it be my turn ta shut up, as I sense the presence o' a weird swab all in red; doubtless he wants ya to know a few things, too.

Your introduction, Captain Blackbeard, was rather silly, but it obviously served its purpose. Greetings, my minions-in-the-making! Lucifer, Prince of Darkness here, a/k/a the Devil, sending you oh so icky-poo Mortals my usual frowny-faced greetings from my Throne Room O' Doom, where, as usual, I shall sneer at you and laugh my nasty laugh! But first: I am, I must admit, a rather happy camper of sorts as I sit here on my custom-upholstered Throne O' Doom. For heatwaves are being reported both in New York and Los Angeles.

Sweat is fun. It's also juicy --- but only if you can properly handle it. It takes a true villain to properly appreciate 90-plus and 100-plus degree temperatures; and I'm giving New Yorkers a heatwave like they wouldn't believe! Hence, my nasty smile! I'm always at my best when 100-plus degree temperatures on both sides of the Continental U.S. get me in my usual nasty-smiling mood.

Enough gloating for now, though. Time for you, dear future minions, to tremble before my Throne with the usual mixture of awe, as I laugh my nasty laugh:

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

There, that's that. You may now resume control, Dum-dum.

(Don't tell anyone, but your dear Dragonmaster gets a kick out of having the ol' Devil call me 'Dum-dum'. I've always thought it was quite ticklish!)

Pondering the Fall of the News Corporation

2011-07-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

Clearly, in spite of all that has been happening this week, your dear Dragonmaster cannot escape from the current big news: the hacking scandal that has claimed the life of the 168-year-old News of the World tabloid, and has several Mortals secretly proposing to boycott the News Corporation's U.S. operations, notably Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, the New York Post and the various Fox networks and stations.

Inevitably, I knew I'd have to put me two cents in on this, so here goes:

Once again, we face Voldemort's dictum that "There is neither good nor evil; there is only power, and those too weak to seek it." Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone, Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg: these are the most powerful Mortals in the Multiverse. Some of these men know what it means to use power; but have they ever understood what it means to use power responsibly? There are a good many of us out there who have not asked that question; perhaps it be time for an auld Wizard like meself to start pursuing such thoughts.

Power and responsibility are important things, to be certain; but I can only hope in the end that there should be much wisdom among Humankind whereby both power and responsibility should be properly appreciated. But then again, as ever, this is no more than a case of a crotchety auld Mage simply rambling on needlessly. But eventually, there will be something in the end for all you goodly gentles to think about.

Well, enough from my mouth, dearests. Doubtless you have other ideas to share. Well, you know where to send 'em so I can read 'em: electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

BREAKING NEWS: Here Was the Story --- Sherwood Schwartz, 1916-2011

2011-07-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Farewell to the man who took us on the longest three-hour tour of our lives and told us the story of a man named Brady. This from the Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES (AP) --- Sherwood Schwartz, writer-producer-creator of two of television's best-remembered TV series of the 1960s and early 1970s --- Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch --- has died at the age of 94.

Great-niece Robin Randall said that Schwartz died at 4 am on Tuesday at Cedars-Sinai where he was being treated for an intestinal infection and underwent several surgeries. His wife Mildred and their children had been at his side.

Sherwood had partnered with his brother Al in the golden age of 1950s TV, said Doug, the late Al's son. "They helped shape TV's early days," he continued. "Sherwood is an American classic, creating Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island, iconic shows that are still popular today. He continued to produce all the way up into his 90s."

Sherwood was working on bringing Gilligan's Island to the big screen. Doug Schwartz, co-creator of another hit series --- Baywatch --- called his uncle a longtime mentor and caring "second father" who helped guide him successfully through show business.

Success had long been the hallmark of Schwartz' career. Neither Gilligan nor Brady pleased the critics, but they both reverberated in viewers' heads across the years as few TV series before or since did, lingering in the language and inspiring parodies, spin-offs and constant jokes.

Besides Mildred, Doug and Robin, Sherwood Schwartz leaves behind, among others, sons Donald, Lloyd and Ross; and daughter Hope Juber.

Happy 450th, St. Basil's!

2011-07-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

450 years ago today, Mortals, Moscow's favorite shrine, both literally and figuratively --- St. Basil's Russian Orthodox Cathedral --- was completed and dedicated. From here, one of your Dragonmaster's Unexpectedly Cool People --- namely, His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and all Russia, oversees the destiny of his flock. And while it's never been easy to be able to do that since he was enthroned in December 2008, he continues to step up to any challenge that comes his way.

You're looking at cool Kirill on the morning of his Enthronement, January 2nd, 2009. He looks quite excellent, don't you agree?

Anyway, here's to 450 years of a great big, rainbow-colored icon of the magic of Moscow.

Skhoal!

Blackwolfian Michael Bay Rant!

2011-06-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

Y'know, Mortals, I continue to wonder why you think Michael Bay is not the greatest director there is. Every time he's made a movie, right off the bat, a critic's first thing is, "Let's trash Michael Bay's new film."

If I may, goodly gentles: Oh, puh-leeeeze!

Now, I know there are a great many of you out there, and you know who you are, who won't rest until you've had a proper look at MichaelBay.com, so for those of you who would see him flop at any cost, your Dragonmaster would like to remind you that in the world of Michael Bay, there are two significant rules:

Rule #1: Blow. Shit. Up.

Rule #2: It's all about the girl.

To elaborate: You don't go to a Michael Bay movie to hear about saving the world, or to listen to a whole lot of extensive, emotional acting. No, dearests, pyrotechnical sequences on a fabulously epic scale, and slight pauses to check out how sexy the leading lady is --- these are the reasons we go to a Michael Bay movie, and if one considers that mindless, let them. Michael Bay is not interested in your opinion, much less what you think about him. I can only say ultimately that Michael Bay has the power, whereas you, put simply, don't. So there. (Whew!)

Clearly, I may be grumbled at for merely uttering these remarks, but I for one think it's time this filmmaker got his proper respect like every other director around the entertainment community. Besides, if I don't say these things, I'll very likely never eat lunch in this town again. 'Nuff said.

Hail, Their Majesties of the Krewe Mon Ami!

2011-06-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Meet the Keischnicks, Todd and Brandy --- 2010 King and Queen of the Krewe Mon Ami, headquartered in Port Arthur, Texas. As you can see, their Royal robes reflect the familiar strains of Rupert Holmes' famous ballad Escape (The Pina Colada Song). Methinks they wanted their loyal subjects to have a whole feast's worth of pina coladas! (Ha ha!)

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2011-06-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

What's going on, World of WarCraft fans? King Magni Bronzebeard here, chillin' out in my Throne Room, and doing the usual Royal Dwarf King kinda stuff, and never more so than on this, Blizzard Entertainment's 20th Anniversary! Y'see, there were these three dudes doin' things beyond their studies at UCLA, and one day, when they decided that there wasn't really anything happening, they hit on this neat idea:

"Hey, why don't we make some cool video games, and have some fun doin' it?"

Well, 20 years later, we're the happiest cool video game spot anywhere! From our headquarters here in beautiful downtown Irvine, California, we've put together the coolest adventures, the most fantastic worlds ---- and, er, oh yeah, one totally excellent Dwarf King: yours truly!

Oh yeah, did I mention we're in the thick of our Midsummer Fire Festival, where it's all fire, all the time? That, and you don't have to get burned! (Seriously, kids --- yeah, I know, it's a bummer, but I'm contractually obligated to do the PSA thing, like everybody else --- don't you go playin' with fire on your own, OK? Ya gotta stay cool, y'know!)

Meanwhile, we hope you guys out there are havin' a terrific summer --- and we sure look forward to chillin' out with you for another 20 years, folks! Keep things easy, y'hear?

Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

The Case of the Canceled Fireworks: Only the Strong Survive?

2011-06-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

A USA Today front-page story running earlier this week focuses on the cancellation of fireworks displays due to factors running the gamut from wildfire concerns caused by droughts or other weather-related causes to simple budgetary constraints.

Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Louisiana, California, Arizona, Alabama --- these are just some of the U.S. States who have banned all outdoor burning in certain areas, along with banning the sale or use of fireworks. The Texas Governor's Office alone has granted some fourteen countywide bans, according to spokeswoman Lucy Nashed. This has resulted in fireworks shows being cancelled in various Texas cities, notably Austin and the Lake Travis area.

Meanwhile, in Florida, officials in Jacksonville and St. Augustine are keeping their eyes on Doppler Radar and may cancel events as the date approaches, says Christina Langston of the City of Jacksonville, Office of Special Events. And even here, that isn't all. Several of the University of Florida's media outlets, among them the school's radio stations, were forced to cancel the Gainesville fireworks event that had been a town tradition for more than 20 years, after over a half-million dollars had to be cut from the budget. We're talking about a budget of between $30,000 and $40,000, according to Randy Wright, Executive Director, Office of Media Properties, University of Florida.

Want more? In Chicago, the Park District has had to cut fireworks funding. In Cincinnati, the All-American Birthday Party and fireworks show has been cancelled due to budget concerns, says Debbie Allison, Manager of Business Services, City of Cincinnati Park Board. Even a fireworks show in New Britain, Conn., costing $50,000, has been likewise cut, says Mayor Tim Stewart; and in Jersey City, New Jersey, their fireworks show is off for a second consecutive year, according to Maryanne Kelleher, City Director of Cultural Affairs.

With all these cancellations and concerns being tossed in your Dragonmaster's path, the question must be asked: With the Fourth of July imminent, have our country's fireworks displays degenerated into a realm where, obviously, only the strong survive? Doubtless the absolute strongest is Macy*s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular, set to begin the second year of a new partnership between Macy*s, NBC and Brad Lachman Productions, under which Burbank-based Brad will oversee the Fireworks, Macy*s 85th Anniversary Thanksgiving Day Parade and Christmas at Rockefeller Center (all three of which will, of course, air LIVE on NBC); I doubt that there will be similar live fireworks events across the country; to date, the only other live fireworks show on TV that I meself know of airs on CBS, and is live from Boston with the Boston Pops Esplanade Orchestra (as I understand it, the CBS fireworks thing in Boston runs just the hour-long conclusion of that program). ABC, not willing to upstage the fireworks shows happening in Anaheim, Lake Buena Vista, Marne-le-Valee and the other Disney Parks, has to date never mounted a live 4th of July fireworks event.

Still, one has to wonder: Are we so blind as to dare take Independence Day for granted in this particular context? It's worth the investigation, say I!

Master Blackwolf

The War of Bethesda Fountain

2011-06-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

By Merlin's beard! Can there be no peace in the area surrounding my beloved Bethesda Fountain? Apparently, the answer is no. On the heels of the recent press conference staged by New York City Park Advocates, wherein your Dragonmaster, along with John Boyd and several of our fellow street musicians and performers, now comes a horrifying situation on the opposite end of the Lake.

As reported exclusively by New York Daily News correspondent Juan Gonzalez, the Loeb Boathouse Restaurant has become a scene of sexual harassment and discrimination, according to six current and former employees of the facility who last week filed a series of complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

Ex-waitress Alejandra Betancur told Gonzalez, "This same manager kept calling me up after work and insisted that I go out with him. "I refused and told him I was married. He later became angry when I had to tell him I was pregnant."

I shall spare you all the rest of it, save for one last important detail: Gonzalez' report speculates that Assistant Parks Commissioner Betsy Smith --- who has spent being in charge of all concessions in the City's parks --- is apparently on a quest to privatize as many areas of Central Park as possible, by whatever means can be made necessary.

Y'know what, kids? That's it! NO MORE MR. NICE WIZARD!

Up to now, I have maintained my patience with these idiots, and I have been as civilized as Mortally possible. But now, it's time for ol' Blackwolf to say: ENOUGH NONSENSE!!! I have just about had it with all of you, you and your foolish desires to divide Central Park, our City's beloved Forest Primeval, between the haves and the have-nots. I can remain silent no more! I refuse to stand idly by and witness the all-too-systematic destruction of the well-being not just of my fellow eccentrics, but of all of Central Park itself. Were he here to even react to this, I have no doubt that beloved and glorious Louis Thomas Hardin, alias Moondog, would be furious! I only wish that the Viking of Sixth Avenue could have stood with us this past Sunday, that he too might have expressed his disgust.

There will be more in the days and weeks to come concerning what I shall now call the War of Bethesda Fountain; but for now, I shall have to ask how you, O Mortals, feel about these horrid tidings. As ever, ye knowst how to get to me: electric_pirates@hotmail.com and blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

From Bilbo, Gandalf and Thorin:

2011-05-31T07:41:00.001-07:00

BILBO: Greetings, Rankin/Bass fans! Bilbo Baggins here!

GANDALF: And hello to you, fellow Mages and Wizard-lovers! I, as usual, am Gandalf, whose name means me!

THORIN: And I am Thorin, grandson of King under the Mountain! And unlike that young whippersnapper Harry Potter, we didn't just decide to just refer to our upcoming movies as puny old "Part One" and "Part Two". Explain it to 'em, Burglar!

B: Oh, certainly. New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer have announced that the two films are to be known as The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit: There and Back Again. Unexpected Journey hits theatres next December 14th; TBA follows on December 13th, 2013.

G: Personally, it's a joy having some of the old gang back on board, especially Orlando and Ian! You, dear Hobbit fans, wouldn't have it any other way, and obviously neither would Peter Jackson. And Ian Holm returns, too, in the role of the elderly Mr. Baggins!

B: Now see here, Gandalf --- I wouldn't exactly call meself 'elderly'! But nevertheless, we're looking forward to showing you, our fans, what we're still capable of doing!

T: Indeed! I, for one, have always wondered how our song --- the one we Dwarves sang to the Burglar during our famous Unexpected Party --- will be depicted on the big screen! I'm sure we're gonna have a great time finding out, huh?

G: Doubtless, Thorin, you and the old Company would've been glorious in that time when Mortals truly wanted their MTV! (Heh-heh!)

(Thorin and Gandalf chuckle together.)

B: Well, we gotta get pre-production protocol finished off, kids. See you all next December 14th!

Concerning FDNY Medal Day 2011

2011-05-31T06:52:00.000-07:00

This summer, and presumably next as well, the Men of the FDNY Emerald Society Pipes and Drums will embark upon a series of celebrations marking their 50th Anniversary. For this reason, the Department's happiest ceremony, Fire Department Medal Day, has for the first time been moved from its familiar home on the steps of City Hall Park to the Flight Deck of the Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum. I would imagine that the Pipers and Drummers wish to take advantage of the great view of the Manhattan skyline as they join the Mayor, Fire Commissioner and Chief of Department in honoring the valiant deeds perpetrated over the past year by individual and team members of New York's Bravest.

Unfortunately, this happy little party, running from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., or to its conclusion, whichever comes first, will be open ONLY to active and retired FDNY personnel and members of their families; there will be a reception and party following the ceremony immediately afterward, with the Bagpipe Band making an additional musical appearance.

This ol' Dragonmaster recalls of yore the days when every New Yorker could celebrate the joy of being a New York City Firefighter; sadly, post-9/11, it got to a point where somehow, this type of event should be reserved for the Band of Brethren. Thus, my dears, was it so decreed.

Nonetheless, I cannot let a milestone such as this go unsaluted; so, this foolish old Mage hath chosen to respond accordingly. Besides, I'm a New Yorker now, and frankly, I need this.

Dancing with the King and Queen of Okeanos, January 12th, 2008: A Photo Essay

2011-05-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to share with you now something I've never before attempted here in the ol' Diary of Magecraft: an entire Photo Essay.

As you know, your Dragonmaster has always been partial to Royal People, so here are Their Majesties, the King and Queen of the Krewe of Okeanos, enjoying a delicious evening together at their Royal Coronation Ball. Enjoy!

(P.S.: I have made every attempt to tell this tale in real time, so that you folks get the idea of how Their Majesties were able to get their Royal Groove goin', and all that nice Royal Stuff.)

9:06 p.m.: The King and Queen wave their trusty Sceptres gently, greeting all their subjects.

9:15 p.m.: The first dance begins.

9:16 p.m.: Clearly, the King and Queen are having such a wonderful time dancing, they just don't want the evening to end!

9:20 p.m.: Posing together for a few moments, Their Majesties are only too happy to oblige the photographer.

9:21 p.m.: Another posing shot. Obviously, when you want to hang out with a King and Queen, the first and most important thing you must remember is this: they are, for all intents and purposes, your hosts!

10:52 p.m.: A Royal Toast! And, needless to say, Happily Ever After! Huzzah!

The Joseph Brooks Tragedy: Blackwolf Comments

2011-05-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

He wrote, produced and directed only two feature films, You Light Up My Life, starring Didi Conn and Joe Silver; and If Ever I See You Again --- and more, he wrote the songs and score for both films, even personally arranging and conducting the orchestra himself, as well as even starring in If Ever I See You Again, portraying a down-on-his-luck songwriter of advertising jingles, struggling to rekindle a relationship with his ex, played by then Charlie's Angels star Shelley Hack.

But alas, his film career eventually proved to be an unhappy one; and in 2005, having resigned himself to the status of movie-trivia footnote, he attempted a comeback by writing, producing and directing an autobiographical Broadway musical called In My Life, which, as most of you might have heard, ended up with some of the worst reviews ever for a single Broadway musical!

Now, with his eldest son Nicholas having been arrested for allegedly strangling his girlfriend to death, and himself facing some 82 counts of sexually-related crimes, not to mention being possibly tossed out of his apartment, Joseph Brooks had reached the end of his rope... and the other day, in a last, desperate bid to escape, he killed himself by sticking a plastic dry-cleaning bag over his head and attaching the bag to a tank full of helium gas.

If you have seen the documentary Capturing the Friedmans, methinks ye be probably familiar with this horrible saga. But there were allegations, after all, that 73-year-old Joe Brooks often lured hopeful young actresses to his apartment, with promises that he could connect them with the denizens of show biz --- only to violently rape them. His, in the end, I fear, was a wasted life --- the type your Dragonmaster has for many aeons shaken his head in sorrow over. Now we will never again hear Debby Boone's recording of "You Light Up My Life" the same way again. More's the pity.

The horror of humans, I think, is that some of them just aren't made to survive the slings and arrows of fortune not given unto them. How sad, then, that Joe Brooks had to be numbered amongst these particular Humans. Now you goodly gentles know why I often tell you to choose life. I trust you will continue to make that decision, and to make it wisely.

Something to think about, and reflect upon......

Fearlessly yours, as ever,

Master Blackwolf

Apocalypse Oy! Blackwolf Versus the Doomsayers

2011-05-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

OK, Mortals, listen up:

Over the last couple of days, New York, and other locations across the country, have been bombarded with a series of advertisements spearheaded by an Oakland, Calif.-based group calling itself FamilyRadio.com, d/b/a Family Stations, Inc. Their leader, an 89-year-old televangelist named Harold Camping, is of the notion that this weekend --- May 21st, 2011 --- this Saturday, as a matter of fact --- will be the beginning of the end of the world. By Merlin's beard, why, of all days, did this guy have to pick Armed Forces Day to be the day of what most Christians refer to as the Rapture?

Your humble Dragonmaster was recently alerted to Mr. Camping via a retired MTA employee from here in New York, one Robert Fitzpatrick by name, who has dared to risk $140,000 --- his entire life savings, or so I've heard --- on posting a series of advertisements in our City's subways and buses, and in the local newspapers, inspired by Mr. Camping's teachings. These advertisements promote Mr. Fitzpatrick's self-published book entitled The Doomsday Code, which itself takes its cue from the philosophy of FamilyRadio.com.

Apparently, this doomsday prediction is the culmination of what FamilyRadio.com called "Project Caravan." Launched last October, this Project Caravan has to date visited over 100 U.S. cities, making their mark on everybody with their apparent call to spreading the word about May 21st, 2011 --- that date serving as the kick-off point for the Second Coming, to be a tad polite about the words.

Camping's teaching suggests that there will be a series of worldwide earthquakes, beginning approximately 6 p.m. local time, starting in the island nation of Fiji, and proceeding onward toward New Zealand --- ultimately reaching every nation on the Planet. Over the next five months, we learn, there is to be an unprecedented period of worldwide carnage, violence and basically not-nice stuff, climaxing on October 21st, when the Eternal One Himself --- God the Father --- heralds to all nations the end of the world.

Luckily for us, the goodly gentles of CBS News' 60 Minutes saw fit to investigate this guy Harold Camping, interviewing him earlier this week. That said, methinks it be time to let off a little bit of steam about this --- that is, if I expect to live with meself. So here goes:

What in thunder is the problem with you sillies predicting the end of the world and all the insanity that goes along with shaking our world to its foundations in this way? Really, don't you think we all have better things to do with our lives than be taken in by a gaggle of conspiracy theorists run amok? Were I a betting Wizard --- and thank goodness I'm not! --- the smart money would tell me not to back this particular horse. Heed the word of Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, kiddos: we're still gonna be here on Saturday after 6 p.m. That's a promise. As for Mr. Fitzpatrick, I fear he will lose his shirt as a result of all this global earthquake silliness; and Harold Camping will become the laughing-stock of televangelism in general.

Now I hope you appreciate why your Dragonmaster does not take too kindly about placing his trust in the televangelism industry. Have you Mortals learned nothing from the Jim Bakker/Jimmy Swaggart scandals of 1980's, much less the farce of the Oral Roberts "call-me-home" incident? Happily, beloved and glorious Billy Graham, and Franklin his son, are far wiser Mortals than these dum-dums.

Well, that's enough outta my Wizardly mouth about this. Wanna challenge me about it? Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

A Few Thoughts for Thor Fans:

2011-05-11T06:59:00.001-07:00

What a joy it is, Mortals, seeing Marvel Studios' Thor, directed by Kenneth Brannagh, kicking ass at the U.S. boxoffice! Did you not expect any less from ye olde House of Ideas? Besides, Thor The Movie, along with Captain America: The First Avenger, is just the prelude. Next summer's big Avengers epic is the intended real deal; thus, this brief missive saying: Pray kick ye more butte, Milord Odinson!

And while you're at it, Marvel Studios, give the Warriors Three their own movie, too! Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg are so much fun together, say I --- indeed, here's what NBCNewYork.com's PopcornBiz blog has to say about it:

Thor's closest (and toughest) pals are ready for more Asgard-kickin' action --- but would you dare line up for Warriors Three, The Movie?

Ray Stevenson as Volstagg, Josh Dallas as Fandral, and Tadanobu Asano as Hogun --- who practically steal their swashbuckling scenes in the big Thor adventure --- would doubtless be ready to take up their battle gear in their very own solo adventure.... if the fans demand it!

"It'd certainly be pretty sweet," says Dallas. "Never assume anything, but hell yeah, the Warriors Three would be up for some great times, that's for sure. Anything can happen in the realm of possibility. It hasn't been mentioned that I know of, but you never know."

"The more the fans clamor, the more chance there is," agrees Stevenson. "There's this untold story about the love there is with the Warriors Three --- I dunno if people are ready for it."

"You never know," smiles Marvel Studios President, CEO and Executive Producer Kevin Feige, who says the company is seriously exploring giving secondary cast members of the Marvel Universe their own movies, should the interest be there. "What's fun to me about the Warriors Three is that folks seem to like them. People love how they were presented in this movie, and their main note might be, 'I wanna see more of them.' I think that, for Thor 2, if we should be so lucky, there's an opportunity for that. But you never know."

For Dallas, the three actors enjoyed slipping into their costumes and makeup that transformed them into literal doppelgangers of Jack Kirby's original characters, becoming completely unrecognizable as themselves. "Even where I was on the set at the end of the day and it was time to take off the makeup, including the wig and the beard," he says, "I'd be on the set with these guys for between 9 and 10 hours a day, I'd pass 'em by and say, 'Hi! How you doin'?' And they'd all be like, 'Who is that guy?' "

Stevenson, on the other hand, was far more fit and fiery in character as lovable Volstagg than his comic-book counterpart, who's best-loved for his enormous girth and even bigger appetites. "I thought I'd be waddling around, sitting down, having a sandwich, amybe one or two libations, red wine," he says, "but no: Big, double-headed, 6-plated battleaxe waging war against the Frost Giants and then going off to challenge the Destroyer."

Having previously doled out Marvelesque vigilante justice in The Punisher: War Zone, Stevenson is open to any number of offers from the company. "I love working with Marvel," he says. "They're supremely loyal, supremely driven, and they're their own biggest fans --- they literally are the geeks of their own works! Because they're the producers, they're on set every day, and every note that they give is because of the love they have for their characters. There's never a negative note when it comes to Marvel: all to enhance, all to build. It's a real inspiration, just working with them."

And just think: this is the same Marvel that let George Lucas do Howard the Duck! By Merlin's beard, we've come way past 360 degrees from 26 years ago, eh what? Well, let ol' Blackwolf just say this: You bet your ass I'd line up for a Warriors Three movie! Kevin, methinks ye knowst what to do, so..... (Heh-heh!)

From His Oceanic Majesty, Neptunus Rex, King of all Oceans:

2011-05-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Surface-dwellers --- and, dare I say it, God bless America! King Neptune here --- and I must say, it is a bit icky for me having the corpse of the most hated amongst you Surface-dwellers, whom, I imagine, cared not a whit for us denizens of the deep, either! That said, I wonder: Should I have my ferocious piranha army munch on the twit's remains? Or should I let the ol' Kraken have what's left of the rotten evildoer? Your President has placed me in quite a dilemma, Mortals; doubtless my subjects will be confused as to what indeed we should do with what is left of the evil one.

Well, we'll have all sorts of fish munching on this nasty fellow until there be naught left but a simple skeleton; those of you who are familiar with Pirates will recall that the members of Neptune's Court knew exactly what to do with dead evildoers who were cast into my ocean: methinks we'll have no trouble dealing with this one, either.

But enough ranting! Tomorrow is Friday, and I intend to celebrate. Even the Sea King needs to party! May your every wish in the sea come true!

Until next time,

King Neptune

The Fall of Osama: Blackwolf Reflects

2011-05-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

Well, Mortals, I knew somehow I'd have to make some sort of comment in light of the recent events; I am choosing my words rather carefully, lest they be misconstrued, for this old Mage does his darndest to make his opinions clear. I'll let Neptune comment about Osama's lifeless corpse in his ocean in a moment, but first:

Americans today have cause to rejoice in the renewal of Lower Manhattan; I know I certainly do. Even now, alas, the celebration must be tempered with the simple truth that the war is still not yet over. Even an old Wizard such as meself must admit this; what bothers me, however, is what lies ahead. Mad-Eye Moody's ancient demand for CONSTANT VIGILANCE! becomes more and more a likelihood, even as I write these words. Indeed, in recent days, I have begun to sense a vendetta between Parks Enforcement personnel against the various street performers and musicians who, like me, have chosen the vicinity of Central Park's Bethesda Terrace and Fountain as our primary stomping grounds. It is, I would wot, the very vendetta Master Thoth refused to lead, which explains why, as I was later to learn, my beloved loony in the loincloth was of the notion that any attempt on his part to return to America would only hasten his death.

As far as your Dragonmaster is concerned, I myself have thus far been spared the horror of confronting the Parks cops; but, as you know, I am not one to press me luck. Besides, I don't stay where I ain't wanted, by Merlin's beard --- and I mean to keep it that way, especially now that I've got a Dragon to look after, much less a documentary movie to finish off.

Bottom line, dearests: rejoice, America, for these days are yours! And as much as I dislike the idea, I must agree with the President on this one: those photos must be sealed away from the eyes of the world, lest other Mortals be caused to seek revenge, or indulge in those annoying conspiracy theories or other such horrible nonsense. I must therefore recommend you watch this coming Sunday's 60 Minutes segment with Steve Kroft interviewing the President, before you even dare to make up your mind.

There. That's that. I've had my say. As I said, King Neptune will put his own two cents in on this shortly. Stay ye tun'd!

A few things for the Mortals to figure out:

2011-04-28T07:35:00.001-07:00

Know these things, Mortals: It's too damn close to the Royal Wedding to keep ye up to date about things; I can only tell you that I spent yesterday listening to Time Warner big boss Jeff Bezos and filmmaking producer Joe Roth, in conversation with Charlie Rose; and, judging by their comments, I would say the industry as we know it is once more forced to contend with a vicious circle.

'Tis the digital dominions versus the unwashed and uncivilized; those among the digitals, I believe, are the ones destined to triumph. And of course, count on ol' Master Blackwolf to keep you in the know as to the continued well-being of the digitals. Content will rule the day --- and the world with it --- as long as there are those who have the means to control a laptop or a PC or whatever.

As for those of my other goodlies: Lordi and fiends, sorry I've been so busy (haven't even had time to check up on ye, dear Monstericans); Lady Gaga, while I look forward to your upcoming HBO concert special from Madison Square Garden, I have not had time to check out your status either. Much too busy trying to bring meself up to speed, let alone planning for AIDS Walk New York!

Meanwhile, dearests, please enjoy your Thursday. I'm now gonna look for photos of meself taken at the Easter Parade! Toodles for the moment!

Master Blackwolf

Another Super-Slow Thursday

2011-04-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter, Mortals!

Well, nothing's going on here in the ol' Diary of Magecraft, and I'm pretty much cooling me Wizardly jets until the Easter Promenade this weekend. I'll see you lot out there, assuming Mother Nature decides to behave herself.

One thing's for sure: While Friday and Saturday are in progress, I'm gonna hafta to deal with the annoying radio commercials coming out of the most annoying division of Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway --- that would be the Government Employees' Insurance Company, a/k/a Geico!

And why, Master Blackwolf, is Geico so annoying? I hear you asking. Let's put it this way: Only Geico's advertising copywriters would be insane enough to not only feature neanderthals in their TV commercials --- but also give those same neanderthals their very own primetime sitcom!!!

After a while, one gets a tad tired of that expletive deleted gekko. Wouldn't bloody surprise me if he were on damn Twitter, too!

Master Blackwolf

King Robert Baratheon Guest-Blogs Again!

2011-04-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

Greetings, loyal Westerians! King Robert Baratheon here! I see there were a good many of you out there who didn't want me to drag you to my dungeons, there to be chained to thy vile remote controls, heh heh! In any case, you obviously got the hint --- so much so, in fact, that HBO has already declared Game of Thrones to be on for a full second season! Huzzah! Gina Belifante in the New York Times did not so much as review my show as grumble about it; no fanboy, she, I fear. Then again, maybe her kind is too snooty for the likes of Dragon*Con Atlanta and Comic-Con International.

Anywho, consider yourselves lucky that you yourselves chose to kneel before the Iron Throne, where sits the new sexiest guy on HBO --- me! Do tune in this Sunday, won't you? Lotsa headbashing, lotsa sexy people, ONE very sexy King! What more could you sillies want? Cheers!

Bob

Huzzah! 'Tis the Royal Court of Jerusalem!

2011-04-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Huzzah! and hurrah! Here are Their Majesties, King Tiberias and Queen Sybella of Jerusalem! Along with your humble Dragonmaster, and our banner-bearer, Sir David of Poole, we are the Royal Court of Jerusalem! And on Sunday afternoon, October 2nd, at our 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park, my Dragon pal Sir Aragorn will help me turn this jolly foursome into a Royal Quintet! Sir James of Robertson, Official Flemish Painter for the Kingdom of Acre, is the fellow responsible for this delicious portrait of the four of us; I hope that Their Majesties of Acre, King Roderic III and Queen Mariana, enjoy a splendiferous year-long reign; and I hope, too, that their Royal Progress proves to be a merry, fruitful one! Huzzah!

Master Blackwolf

The Royal Wedding: Blackwolf Comments

2011-04-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Y'know, Mortals, given that we're 10 or so days away from the Wedding of the 21st Century, it was inevitable that your humble Dragonmaster would need to put his own two cents in; herewith, my reflections:

What separates the House of Windsor from its original German-founded predecessors, the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, is one simple truth: Edward VII and Alexandra geniunely loved each other, even if he often spent his nights with his own share of girlfriends.

Not only that, there was a reason Edward VII enjoyed being King of Great Britain: he believed in a 20th Century where the Crowned Heads of all Europe could unite their forces peacefully, and provide astounding benefits for all their subjects. Alas! World War I made bloomin' sure that that never happened. Yet the legacy of Edward VII endures; and that is why Master Richard, my Mortal-born alter ego, considers him worth looking up to: because he represented the elegance, decorum and dignity that the House of Windsor could never hope to replicate, even if Queen Elizabeth II still looks great, even as she dares to surpass Queen Victoria as Britain's longest-reigning Sovereign!

I seem to remember, in fact, that during the 70's, we used to get off on the 13-week Edward the King television series starring Timothy West and Annette Crosbie. Now it's available on DVD from Acorn Media (they're saying it'll be out in a 4-DVD set on September 30th, 2011 [or did it come out last year?]). Anyway, the fools at NBC, or so Page Six tells me, are considering wussing out on full coverage of the Royal Wedding because they may be thinking that Prince William and Kate Middleton are "too boring." For the NBC sillies, say the insiders, 'too boring' would not equal big ratings. Look, you Peacock network pissants: you're gonna be dealing with the BBC's coverage, a billion people all over the world expected to tune in and stuff --- needless to say, one simply does NOT dare wuss out on a wedding of this magnitude! Methinks ol' Edward VII would be most displeased (Victoria, of course, would not be amused).

As you can see in the above photo, Edward and Alix are quite prepared to begin their reign. This is Coronation Day, August 9th, 1902, some 112 years ago. I only hope that their spirits will approve of their young descendants as they begin what I personally hope will indeed be a glorious future! Huzzah! and hurrah!

Today's Guest Blogger: King Robert Baratheon of Westeros!

2011-04-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Westeros, future loyal subjects! King Robert Baratheon, Sovereign Lord of all Westeros here! Know ye, gentle lords and gentle ladies, that I am now the new sexiest guy on HBO --- meaning that you WILL watch my show, Game of Thrones, EVERY Sunday night! If you don't, I'll find you, personally toss you into my dungeons, and have you chained to your remote control (evil chortle)!

And if there any Mark Addy fans out there, you may now swoon like silly over that cool photo of him portraying me!

I just love making these delightfully glorious proclamations --- look at it this way, kids: it's a great alternative to challenging me to a swordfight (which, of course, I'm going to win)!

Spend your Easter Sunday evening with me this week, won't you? I'll bring the feast; you bring the whatever. Just prepare for lots of grumpy people, evil sneering, headbashing and all the good stuff you fanboys out there can't get enough of! Cheers!

May your days be days worth seizing!

Bob

Dragonmaster Update (Yeah, 'Tis Yours Truly)

2011-04-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

OK, Mortals, we need to talk seriously here.

Right now, I could've been in on this year's Tribeca Film Festival, extolling me damn documentary movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard. Unfortunately, personal demons suffered by both Stephen Steinberg and myself, renovators invading and making over me apartment, a dead cell phone and one or two brainless twits who didn't wanna play ball with me have pretty much gotten in the way. Drat, drat, draaaaat!!!!!

Why am I kvetching about all this, you ask? Because I can, and because I damn well feel like it! Hast thou a problem wi' that, m'Lord? All I'm livin' for as of right now is my Easter Parade gig a couple of weeks hence, and don't you dare annoy, much less ignore me when my Dragon pal Sir Aragorn and I show up! And I don't wanna find in me inbox another expletive deleted e-mail from you either, Rapid T. Rabbit! As of now, I no longer give a bleep re your fans or your show.

That's why I'm gonna introduce Sir Aragorn to the Royals from the Imperial Court of New York when they show up; I expect they'll be there round about noontime, by then the Rapid T. Rabbit and Friends crew will be long gone (to which I say a sensible "Yay!").

Bottom line, dearests, I'm back, and I'm gonna stay in your face until our documentary is completed, released, posted on YouTube and anything else I can think of that we can do to the damn thing.

And now, if you don't mind, I need to update Master Richard's wacky Facebook photo album entitled The Best of Mistress Maleficent, wherein Disney's ultimate bitch waxes poetic about being stylish, being nasty, being .... well, bitchy --- and, of course, taking over the world. See you Friday at Bethesda Fountain for a few more weekends' worth of sneaky-peek public appearances --- and then, the big one outside St. Patrick's Cathedral on Easter Sunday morning!

Master Blackwolf

Farewell to an Icon: Elizabeth Taylor, 1932-2011

2011-03-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

Dearests, let us pause to reflect upon the loss of an icon: Elizabeth Taylor, one of the youngest contract players in the once shining history of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and eternally notorious for being married eight times, twice to Richard Burton, died this morning at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. She was 79. Cause of death: congestive heart failure. Needless to say the afternoon will be jam-packed with tributes on MSNBC.com, CNN.com, Time.com, People.com, EW.com, Variety.com, THR.com, the Huffington Post --- all over the Multiverse.

But your Dragonmaster, too, must join in the reflections; hence, mine own two cents:

I have long ascertained the notion that one does not mess around with a Legend. And Elizabeth Taylor was beyond Legend. Hers was the adventure you simply don't chronicle anymore in this day and age. She wielded the power and the magic only true movie stars can hold. The present generation can only drown in their ignorance and failure to appreciate motion picture history. Elizabeth Taylor, dear children, WAS motion picture history. Tales will be forever told of the battle that was Burton-Taylor. Theirs was the ultimate screen romance, the last of a dying breed. She, not Greta Garbo, was the last of the original movie stars of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, having been signed to Culver City at the tender age of 12.

Then, over the course of 60 films, she made us feel her magic, taking us to places we could never hope to escape to.

No, my dearests, there shall never be another like her. To put her passing into an appropriately humorous perspective, ol' Blackwolf would be the first to say: Being married eight times, I imagine ol' Tudor Thunderbutt (a/k/a His Majesty, King Henry VIII) might have a little competition coming at him, as it were.

But mine is not to tease, even in humor. Mine is to pay solemn tribute. And so I do. Farewell, Elizabeth dearest. Today's so-called celebrities shall never know what it meant to be you. And should at any time they dare pretend to be you, let them be cursed to walk the streets of Hollywood in obscurity.

Such is the wisdom of Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, Duke of Talisker.

A Brief Update for All the Fans of the Diary!

2011-03-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Mortals! (Damn, it's been aeons since last I sald that.)

Alright, kids, let's do this and make it short and to the point: I am Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, New York City's Unofficial Wizard. Welcome to my fabulous Diary of Magecraft, where I share the secrets of over 4800 years of working this wiz biz --- as well as adjusting to life in modern-day New York, or, as I prefer to call it, ye Byg Appyl.

Now pay attention, for there's much to grumble about to you: For the first two weeks of March, I've had to have the walls of my bedchambers in my humble hovel, a/k/a my apartment replastered and renovated. That has been accomplished; sadly, I've had to lose my landline phone connection as a result. The reason: the battery in the cell phone I've been using simply died on me. So I now must journey outside, on foot if need be, or make an attempt to use other computer terminals (luckily, the Apple Store Lincoln Center gives me lots of opportunities for this, despite the fact that I may not have much to time to do stuff).

In any case, the post-production phase of my documentary movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, has been severely interfered with. And in my humble opinion, that's a major-league no-no. Indeed, we had to bloody miss the deadline for submissions to the Tribeca Film Festival because of this whole crap with me bloomin' apartment! Do you suppose I'm happy about that? WRONG!

Oh yeah, I no longer have me old rickety bookshelf, which I was forced to destroy; currently, however, dearest Rachel Kadushin has seen fit to come to my rescue and arrange to secure me a replacement bookshelf. Even so, I may have to deal with those fools at the Home Depot, because I sure as hell ain't wastin' me breath as far as visiting the Ikea store in Paramus goes, pal!

Turning to the world of Mardi Gras in New Orleans, which I also had to miss out on (Damn!), Rex 2011 and his dear Queen took the Mortal forms of Herschel Abbott, Jr. and Jane White. MardiGras.com has the full 411 regarding Their Merry Majesties; and their big night together, the Rex Ball and Meeting of the Courts of Rex and Comus, is out on DVD from the folks best prepared to cover it: WYES-TV/HD, Nawluns' PBS home.

Lastly, there's the Imperial Court of New York to give a proper shout-out to, for this coming Saturday, the Silver Anniversary Night of a Thousand Gowns Dinner Dance, Charity Ball and Silent Auction gives Times Square's Marriott Marquis Hotel Ballroom its most dazzling evening party in memory. It also, of course, means that dear Emperor Jack and Empress Farrah Moans will, on the stroke of midnight, take the posts of Count and Countess, whilst the new Emperor and Empress, Vanity Society and Pepperica Swirl, will officially take the Thrones! Huzzah! Alas, I once more shall not be with them, for, it being a Saturday night, I shall of course be home, getting me Cops/AMW fix for the week. I shall, however, greet Their newly-crowned Most Imperial Sovereign Majesties at the Easter Parade on Fifth; they'll usually strut their stuff around noontime.

Speaking of the Easter Parade, I know that Rapid T. Rabbit and his cronies will show their ugly mugs, too. I thought they were cool in time of yore; well, we're enemies now, so expect a big frowny-faced stare from me and my Dragon partner, Sir Aragorn! Sir Aragorn was presented to me by King Tiberias of Jerusalem, and is a graduate of the Royal Scottish Dragon Academy to serve as my loyal partner and fearless fiery friend. I'll be taking him to the Tartan Saturday Afternoon Parade before we do the Easter Parade, so he can remember what his heritage is, so look for an update soon.

Oh yeah, I owe you guys an Oscar Night chronicle, don't I? Yes, I do --- but you'll not get it this day. Not right away, anyway. I'll just have to make time for it soon. Please, dearests, bear with this foolish old Dragonmaster as I battle in mine own way to uncomplicate things as best I can without so much as blowing me Wizardly top!

As ever, I remain,

Fearlessly yours,

Master Blackwolf

Thoughts on Marvel Losing the Human Torch, and Why It's Not the End of the Marvel Universe

2011-02-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

Recently, Marvel Comics, hoping to deal in its own way with the economics of the Multiverse, decided to kill off Johnny Storm, a/k/a the Human Torch, brother of Susan Storm-Richards (the Invisible Woman); thereby reducing the Fantastic Four to the Fantastic Three, Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards and dearest, rocky ol' Ben ('It's clobberin' time!') Grimm, a/k/a the Thing, being the other two core members.

Hate to have to be a dork here, dear friends of the Marvel Universe, but losing the Human Torch is not as earth-shattering an event as you have doubtless led us to believe. Losing Spider-Man, Captain America, Wolverine, the Incredible Hulk, the Mighty Thor, Iron Man --- I could properly understand if Marvel killed off their big guns. But in all honesty, the reason I'm doing the ol' Yawn City routine re the loss of the Torch is quite simple. C'mon, what does the guy do other than say "Flame on!" and like that, he toasts marshmallows (and the bad guys) at the blink of an eye. Then, it's "Flame off!" and he's done for the day.

In short, Marvelites, the idea was a great one on paper, but in terms of conception and execution, the verdict from ol' Blackwolf is pretty much "Big deal." I get more thrills from Thor's pals Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg, a/k/a the Warriors Three, than I would from the Fantastic Four. (Sorry, Stan Lee --- it's just that the Warriors Three gimme more laughs and kick more ass than the ol' Odinson on his own.)

If you really wanna give the fans pause, do what I shall soon be doing: scope out the 2011 Super Bowl commercials on YouTube!

Master Blackwolf

Updating the Fans: What I've Missed, What Happens Next and a Few Other Oddball Remarks

2011-02-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

So, what has your humble Dragonmaster missed besides Groundhog Day 2011? Oh, not much, really: just a few situations regarding the world on the brink (as ever), with Good and Evil at one another's throats (natch!); and a little Pirate get-together called Gasparilla in Tampa/St. Petersburg, Florida. Oh yeah, there's also a little bit of insanity known amongst ye Mortals as ye Super Bowl, wherein ye Pittsburgh Steelers are to engage in conflict 'gainst ye Green Bay Packers --- and, if I know the fools at Fox Sports, there's bound to be a whole mess of stuff going on during the 13-hour epic festival (including commercials).

Still, when someone tells me that there's a new Kia Motors commercial involving an Aztec tribe, Posideon and even space aliens, that merits ye olde "I need to see this!" from ol' Blackwolf. Oh, and did I mention there's Oscar Night to worry about, too?

Well, you'll all be glad to learn that we have an official trailer up and properly posted for our documentary Quite an Imagination; please tell your friends about it, as we want to generate some major buzz about the thing. And I'll still be doing the Easter Parade; it's just that it won't be until April (aargh!). Afterwards, once the film gets together and everything, I'll be able to sell the thing for $15 a pop when I make my first appearance at dear old Bethesda Fountain (assuming that Parks Enforcement leaves me alone, of course!).

Look, kids, I just got turned on to the wonders of herbal tea (thank ye, Milady Rachel); that's why me tongue's a little bit icky. I'm glad I can still do this without breathing heavily. More to tell you soon.

Master Blackwolf

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011: And the Nominees Are.....

2011-01-25T07:05:00.000-08:00

BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR

127 Hours, Cloud 8/Film4/Everest Entertainment-Darlow Smithson; Fox Searchlight-Newscorp. Danny Boyle, Christian Colson and John Smithson, producers; Bernard Bellew, Lisa Marie Falcone, Francois Ivernel, Cameron McCracken and John J. Kelly, executive producers.

Black Swan, Protozoa Pictures/Phoenix Pictures; Fox Searchlight-Newscorp. Scott Franklin, Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver and Arnold Messer, producers; Jon Avnet, Brad Fischer, Peter Fruchtman, Ari Handel, Jennifer Roth, Rick Schwartz and Tyler Thompson, executive producers.

The Fighter, Closest to the Hole Prods.-Mandeville Films/Park Entertainment; The Weinstein Co.-Paramount/Viacom. Mark Wahlberg, Dorothy Aufiero, David Hoberman, Ryan Kavanagh, Todd Lieberman and Paul Tamasy, producers; Darren Aronofsky, Keith Dorrington, Eric Johnson, Tucker Tooley and Leslie Varrelman, executive producers.

Inception, Syncopy; Legendary Pictures/Time Warner. Christopher Nolan and Emma Thomas, producers; Thomas Tull and Chris Brigham, executive producers.

The Kids Are All Right, Mandalay Vision/St. Aire Prods.-10th Hole/Antidote Films; Focus Features-NBC Universal. Gary Gilbert, Phillippe Hellmann, Jordan Horowitz, Jeffery Levy-Hinte and Celine Rattray, producers; Andrew Sawyer, Steven Saxton, Christy Scott Cashman, Anne O'Shea and Riva Marker, executive producers.

The King's Speech, SeeSaw Films/Bedlam Prods.; The Weinstein Co. Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, producers; Bob & Harvey Weinstein, Tim Smith, Geoffrey Rush, Mark Foligno and Paul Brett, executive producers.

The Social Network, Michael De Luca/Scott Rudin-Trigger St. Entertainment; Sony. Michael De Luca, Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti and Cean Chaffin, producers; Aaron Sorkin and Kevin Spacey, executive producers.

Toy Story 3, Disney/Pixar. Darla K. Anderson, producer; John Lasseter, executive producer.

True Grit, Scott Rudin/Skydance Prods./Mike Zoss Prods.; Paramount-Viacom. Joel & Ethan Coen with Scott Rudin, producers; Steven Spielberg, Megan Ellison, Bob Graf, David Ellison and Paul Schwake, executive producers.

Winter's Bone, Anonymous Content/Roadside Attractions. Alix Madigan-Yorkin and Anne Rosellini, producers; Jonathan Scheuer and Shawn Simon, executive producers.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Javier Bardem as Uxbal in Biutiful.

Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn in True Grit.

Jesse Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network.

Colin Firth as King George VI in The King's Speech.

James Franco as Aron Ralston in 127 Hours.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Annette Bening as Nic in The Kids Are All Right.

Nicole Kidman as Becca in Rabbit Hole.

Jennifer Lawrence as Ree in Winter's Bone.

Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers in Black Swan.

Michelle Williams as Cindy in Blue Valentine.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Christian Bale as Dicky Eklund in The Fighter.

John Hawkes as "Teardrop" in Winter's Bone.

Jeremy Renner as James Coughlin in The Town.

Mark Ruffalo as Paul in The Kids Are All Right.

Geoffrey Rush as Lionel Logue in The King's Speech.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Amy Adams as Charlene Fleming in The Fighter.

Helena Bonham Carter as Queen Elizabeth in The King's Speech.

Melissa Leo as Alice Ward in The Fighter.

Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross in True Grit.

Jacki Weaver as Janine Cody in Animal Kingdom.

DIRECTOR

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan.

Joel & Ethan Coen, True Grit.

David Fincher, The Social Network.

Tom Hooper, The King's Speech.

David O. Russell, The Fighter.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Mike Leigh, Another Year.

Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson and Keith Dorrington, The Fighter.

Christopher Nolan, Inception.

Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids Are All Right.

David Seidler, The King's Speech.

SCREENPLAY ADAPTATION

Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, 127 Hours. Based upon the autobiography Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston.

Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network. Based upon the book The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich.

Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich, Toy Story 3. Based upon characters created by John Lasseter, Pete Docter, Joe Ranft and Andrew Stanton.

Joel & Ethan Coen, True Grit. Based upon the novel by Charles Portis.

Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini, Winter's Bone. Based upon the novel by Daniel Woodrell.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Matthew Libatique, Black Swan.

Wally Pfister, Inception.

Danny Cohen, The King's Speech.

Jeff Cronenweth, The Social Network.

Roger Deakins, True Grit.

ART DIRECTION/SET DECORATION

Robert Stromberg and Karen O'Hara, Alice in Wonderland.

Stuart Craig and Stephanie McMillan, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1.

Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias and Doug Mowat, Inception.

Eve Stewart and Judy Farr, The King's Speech.

Jess Gonchor and Nancy Haigh True Grit.

FILM EDITING

Jon Harris, 127 Hours.

Andrew Weisblum, Black Swan.

Pamela Martin, The Fighter.

Tariq Anwar, The King's Speech.

Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall, The Social Network.

COSTUME DESIGN

Colleen Atwood, Alice in Wonderland.

Antonella Cannarozzi, I am Love.

Jenny Beavan, The King's Speech.

Sandy Powell, The Tempest.

Mary Zophres, True Grit.

ORIGINAL SCORE

A.R. Rahman, 127 Hours.

John Powell, How to Train Your Dragon.

Hans Zimmer, Inception.

Alexandre Desplat, The King's Speech.

Trent Reznor with Atticus Ross, The Social Network.

ORIGINAL SONG

From 127 Hours: "If I Rise," music by A.R. Rahman, lyrics by Rollo Armstrong and Dido.

From Country Strong: "Coming Home," music by Tom Douglas and Hillary Lindsey, lyrics by Troy Verges.

From Tangled: "I See the Light," music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Glenn Slater.

From Toy Story 3: "We Belong Together," words and music by Randy Newman.

MAKEUP

Adrien Morot, Barney's Version.

Edouard F. Henriques, Greg Funk and Yolanda Toussieng, The Way Back.

Rick Baker and Dave Elsey, The Wolfman.

VISUAL EFFECTS

Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips, Alice in Wonderland.

Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas Aithadi, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1.

Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojansky and Joe Farrell, Hereafter.

Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb and Paul J. Franklin, Inception.

Janek Sirrs, Benjamin Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick, Iron Man 2.

SOUND MIXING/RE-RECORDING

Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick, Inception.

Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen and John Midgley, The King's Speech.

Jeffrey J. Haboush, William Sarokin, Scott Millan and Greg P. Russell, Salt.

Renny Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick and Mark Weingarten, The Social Network.

Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland, True Grit.

SOUND EDITING

Richard King, Inception.

Tom Myers and Michael Silvers, Toy Story 3.

Gwendolyn Yates Whittle and Addison Teague, TRON: Legacy.

Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey, True Grit.

Mark P. Stoeckinger, Unstoppable.

ANIMATED FEATURE

How to Train Your Dragon, DreamWorks Animation. Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois, directors; Bonnie Arnold, producer; Kristine Belson and Timothy Johnson, executive producers.

The Illusionist, Django Films/Cine B/France 3 Cinema-Pathe; Sony Pictures Classics. Sylvain Chomet, writer-director; Sally Chomet and Bob Last, producers; Jake Eberts and Philippe Carcassonne, executive producers.

Toy Story 3, Disney/Pixar. Lee Unkrich, director; Darla K. Anderson, producer; John Lasseter, executive producer.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Exit Through the Gift Shop, Paranoid Pictures-Producers' Distribution Agency. Banksy, director; James Gay-Rees, Jaimie D'Cruz and Holly Cushing, producers.

GasLand, The International WOW Company for HBO Documentary Films. Josh Fox, writer-producer-director-host; Trish Adlesic and Molly Gandour, producers.

Inside Job, Representational Pictures-Sony Pictures Classics. Charles Ferguson, producer-director; Jeffrey and Christina Lurie, executive producers.

Restrepo, Outpost Films/National Geographic Entertainment. Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger, producers-directors; Nick Quested and John Battsek, executive producers.

Waste Land, Almega Projects and O2 Filmes/Arthouse Films. Lucy Walker, Karen Harley and Joao Jardim, directors; Hank Levine and Angus Aynsley, producers; Jackie and Miel De Botton and Fernando Meirelles, executive producers.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT

Killing in the Name, Moxie Firecracker Films. Jed Rothstein, producer-director; Rory Kennedy and Liz Garbus, producers; Carie Lemack, executive producer.

Poster Girl, Sara Nesson, director; Mitchell Block, producer.

Strangers No More, The Simon/Goodman Picture Co. Kirk Simon and Karen Goodman, producers-directors; Lin Arison, executive producer.

Sun Come Up, Jennifer Redfearn, producer-director; Tim Metzger and Abigail Disney, executive producers.

The Warriors of Qiugang, Thomas Lennon Films. Ruby Yang, producer-director; Thomas Lennon, producer-writer.

LIVE-ACTION SHORT

The Confession, National Film & TV School (UK). Tanel Toom, director; Emily Williams, producer.

The Crush, Michael Creagh, writer-director; Damon Quinn, producer.

God of Love, Luke Matheny, writer-director; Ryan Silbert, Gigi Dement and Stefanie Walmsley, producers.

Na Wewe, A Private View and Cut! with Medya Menia for Radio Television Belge Francophone. Ivan Goldschmidt, producer-director; Jean-Luc Kesch, executive producer.

Wish #143, Ian Barnes, producer-director; Samantha Waite, executive producer.

ANIMATED SHORT

Day & Night, Disney/Pixar. Teddy Newton, director; Kevin Reher, producer.

The Gruffalo, Magic Light Pictures and Studio Soi in association with Orange Eye for the BBC, Nick Jr. and ZDF Germany. Max Lang and Jacob Schuh, directors; Michael Rose and Martin Pope, producers; Polly Hill, executive producer for the BBC.

Let's Pollute!, Geefwee Boedoe, director-producer.

The Lost Thing, Passion Pictures/Madman Entertainment (Australia). Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann, directors; Sophie Byrne, producer.

Madagascar: A Journey Diary, Sacrebleu Prods. with the support of C.R.R.A.V. Nord Pas de Calais, Procirep, Angoa-Agicoa and le Centre National de la Cinematographie (France). Bastien Dubois, writer-director; Ron Dyens and Aurelai Previeu, producers.

FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM

From Mexico: Biutiful, Menageatroz/Mod Producciones-Ikiru Films with Focus Features-NBC Universal. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, producer-director; Jon Kilik, producer; David Linde, executive producer.

From Greece: Dogtooth, Boo Prods.-Horsefly Prods. for the Greek Film Center; Kino International. Giorgios Lanthimos, director; Yorgos Tsourgiannis, producer; Iraklis Mavroidis, executive producer.

From Denmark: In a Better World, Danmarks Radio/Det Dansk Filminstitut/Film Fyn-Memfis Film with MEDIA, Film i Vast, Nordisk Film & TV Fond and Sveriges TV; Sony Pictures Classics. Susanne Bier, director; Sisse Graum Jorgensen, producer.

From Canada: Incendies, micro_scope; Sony Pictures Classics. Denis Villeneuve, writer-director; Luc Dery and Kimberly McCraw, producers.

From Algeria: Outside the Law, Tessalit Prods./EPTV/Studio Canal/France 2 Cinema with l'Agence Algerienna pour le Rayonnement Culturel, Kissfilms, Novak Prods. and Quinta Communications; Cohen Media Group. Rachid Bouchareb, writer-director; Jean Brehat, producer.

OK, kids, there you go. All the gory details, just the way ol' Blackwolf knows how to deliver them. Also, please be advised that, as of this past weekend, your Dragonmaster's parent company, Electric Pirates Entertainment, has now officially invaded YouTube. Look for us at www.youtube.com/user/ElectricPirates. As for me, we're still editing the new Quite an Imagination trailer; we'll sort those details out within the next couple weeks. And now, if you don't mind, I need to do some serious belly-floppin'! See ya!

Master Blackwolf

A few thoughts on having one's heart broken:

2011-01-13T09:26:00.000-08:00

For the past hour or so, me Mortal-born alter ego has poured out his soul on his Facebook presence, concerning his thoughts on those who dare question the lad's lifestyle and humanity.

Honestly, goodly gentles, there are those who have long had similar questions about your dear Dragonmaster; and it was largely to prevent those questions from being asked once and for all that inspired Stephen Steinberg to seek me out; as a result, we have completed filming, and are now in the midst of post-production, on our documentary film entitled Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard (that's me, of course!).

But it has become apparent of late that there continue to be those who would do anything to break a person's heart. What will it take, I wonder, to make you Humans understand, much less appreciate, the value of another human being's personal feelings? How many times must I grumble at all of you about the contempt I have for those who repeatedly DON'T understand or appreciate other people's feelings?

When my seven Wizardly superiors, the Grand High Istari, first gave me the task of trying to restore the collective happiness of the common New Yorker, they anticipated not the size and scope that such a challenge would provide; alas, the battle rages on, and I fear that my Quest may have failed once and for all. But, as I was of yore Padraig of Abbeyleix, son of Saemus the Strong, my code of family honor must be upheld --- in which case, it must be said that I have no intention of going down without a fight!

I shall do anything necessary to defend and protect not only the honor of my family ..... but also that of a young man who is alone in the world, and desires no more than simple, unconditional positive regard. The problem is, he ain't getting that unconditional positive regard, so I have to start fighting for that in any way, shape or form possible. Now, if I can't accomplish that, then I haven't done my job, by Merlin's beard!

I'm Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, dammit! I'm fed up with Mortals who question my very right to even be New York City's Unofficial Wizard! Is it too much to ask you goodly gentles to notice me Wizardly person? I've done all I can; I can't keep all this defending myself stuff up forever. Notice me, dammit!!! Hopefully, once this damn documentary is finished, maybe you'll get it about me once and for all!!!

Look, I've kvetched and kvetched until I'm blue in the face. Just e-mail stephen@eternaldamnationproductions.com or electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com. We want you to enjoy our film, help us complete our post-production phase --- whatever it takes!

(Sorry, kids, but there are just some Mortals who will just not understand this old Mage, no matter what I do --- and, let's face it, it's pissing me off!)

From Bilbo, Gandalf and Thorin:

2011-01-13T06:49:00.000-08:00

BILBO: Greetings, Rankin/Bass fans! Bilbo Baggins here!
THORIN: And I, of course, am Thorin, grandson of King under the Mountain!
GANDALF: And of course, yours truly, Gandalf, he whose name means me! Well, I think you all know why we're today's guest-bloggers here in Blackwolf's Diary of Magecraft; but for those of you not familiar with what's been going on, we're about to return to the big screen in a very big way: Pre-production will proceed soon on The Hobbit, Parts 1 and 2 --- and most of the original cast from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings Trilogy will be returning to contribute their parts for certain sequences.
B: Indeed! And there are going to be all sorts of new things to be dealt with as production begins after next spring. Why, there's just so many things to look forward to, I can hardly imagine what we'll be doing, much less how we'll do things.
T: Oh come now, Burglar! When we last guest-blogged here, we were proposing to join our forces, just the three of us, as a rock band called The Grey Havens.
B: And we'll still have our band, no doubt. But now, we're going to have a better chance to be seen by more audiences than previously.
G: Quite so! Most of those who were in on things when we were making those three movies --- well, we had quite a journey and stuff.
T: Ah, yes. Those were glorious days, weren't they?
G: Yes they were.
B: Well, tell you what, lads: Let's show the fans what heroes are made of, eh what?
G: That, I think, should present no challenge. Let's get busy, then!

HOBBIT UPDATE: Boy, Everybody's Almost Back! Now, Saruman's On Board, Too!

2011-01-12T07:43:00.001-08:00

Well, well! Just when you thought things couldn't get any more incredible, dearests, check ye this out: Sir Christopher Lee is negotiating to return as Saruman the Black, whom we all booed furiously at in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Presuming that his good health holds up, Sir Christopher will indeed return, though I'm not sure how he'll figure in the saga.

Also, despite the fact that I can't as yet put me finger on it, methinks we may have all 13 members of Thorin Oakenshield's Company together. Based on TheOneRing.net's postings, here's who's portraying each of the members:

Graham McTavish as Dwalin
Kenneth Stott as Balin
Aidan Turner as Kili
Rob Kazinsky as Fili
Mark Hadlow as Dori
Jed Brophy as Nori
Adam Brown as Ori
John Callen as Oin
Peter Hambleton as Gloin
William Kircher as Bifur
James Nesbitt as Bofur
Stephen Hunter as Bombur

Richard Armitage, is of course, Thorin himself. (I think our good friend King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge will be especially happy about all 13 Dwarf roles being filled; I hear he's already in party mode himself about having recently being given the status of being an action figure! The Blizzard Store would, if memory serves, have the full details and stuff.)

So, we now have McKellen, Wood, Serkis, Lee and Blanchett back in the saddle for the Hobbit project. I'm sure you Mortals will now start dreaming of THAT POSTER: Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage and Martin Freeman in full costumed splendor as Middle-earth's Three Musketeers --- Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf --- together, just the way you want them. Truth be told, I want it that way, too. Ah, me.

The Main Mage Returns: Gandalf is Heading Back to the Big Screen Where He Belongs! Yessss!

2011-01-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

Well, Mortals, it's official: Sir Ian McKellen has re-upped as our Exalted Brother Gandalf for Peter Jackson's upcoming two-part The Hobbit. Doubtless me Brother and Sister Mages at TheOneRing.net are in party mode, because PJ has thus far gotten some of the old gang from the Trilogy back on board: Elijah Wood as Frodo, whose scenes in the film will be set before he, Bilbo and Gandalf will depart from the Grey Havens; Andy Serkis as Gollum (who will, I suspect, once again attempt to slither his way into stealing the show); and Cate Blanchett as Queen Galadriel, who stole Frodo's heart early on in the Trilogy. PJ is next hoping to land Orlando Bloom to return as Legolas, son of Thranduil, Elvenking of Mirkwood. Here's hoping.

This is precisely the good news YOU, loyal Hobbit fans, have long wished for. Now, if only we could get everything in greenlight mode, to say nothing of getting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer financially back on track as well, maybe this whole business could get started in terms of principal photography and we could get at least ONE party happening!

But mine is not to reason why, much less speculate. Mine is to tell you Mortals what's what, who's who, and what in Merlin's name is going on in the world of Magecraft. Shall we boogie, then, goodly gentles?

Blackwolf on a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.....

2011-01-11T08:53:00.001-08:00

I have been monitoring the information coming out of Tucson, Arizona, and from what I have thus far ascertained, I can only conclude that once more, it is indeed becoming a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

There are so many Mortals unnecessarily rushing to judgment that it has become more and more difficult to keep up with things around here. That is why, from time to time, I turn to the title song from Stanley Kramer's comedy behemoth, which tells the tale of a bunch of people pursuing $350,000 buried under four palm trees somewhere in California.

Here's the link to the film's Overture, which is very likely the only place to properly enjoy the said title song.

Frankly, there will always be nutty Mortals no matter where you journey. I often think that folks will often find newer, insaner ways to drive other Mortals totally bonkers. In other words, to quote another, more recent ballad, "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!"

(OK, I guess you'll want a link to that one as well. There's just no pleasing you Mortals these days! Here it is!)

Some days, a Dragonmaster's blog isn't worth posting in. Ah, but what the hell: SOMEONE has to share the secrets of 4000-plus years of Magecraft around here, and Blackwolf the Dragonmaster is the chosen. Ah, me.

Today's Guest Bloggers: Los Tres Reyes Magos!

2011-01-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

GASPAR: Felicidades, amigos! We are Los Tres Reyes Magos --- and today, we're guest-blogging in Blackwolf's Diary of Magecraft to celebrate our special day with all our friends at El Museo del Barrio and the Society for the Educational Arts/Los Kabayitos Puppet Theatre! Hi there, I'm Gaspar, King of Arabia.....
MELCHIOR: I'm Melchior, King of Mesopotamia! We're in an especially jolly mood this year, because it's Los Kabayitos' 25th Birthday --- and this afternoon, as we always do, we end our day in New York at our Teatro SEA home, where we share our gifts with the first 1000 kids who show up! There's photo ops, facetime with the three of us, the music of folk music group Los Pleneros de la 21, and just happiness in general!
BALTHASAR: And I'm Balthasar, King of Tarsus --- and our Parade at El Museo has three very special guests as our Honorary Three Kings; Lynda Baquero, veteran journalist for WNBC NewsChannel 4 HD; longtime Parade veteran, poet and playwright Jesus ("Papoleto") Melendez; and El Museo's former Executive Director, Julian Zugazagoitia. They'll be joined by live camels, kids from all over the Spanish Harlem, East Harlem and Hamilton Heights regions of Manhattan --- and, ay caramba! All the diversion and cool stuff happening can make things spin around in your head!
G: Si! So we're also gonna spend Sunday in Brooklyn --- and we'll be joined by urban merengue superstar Omega and hip-hopper Josie (La Gata) Carr, among others. We start this Parade around 2 p.m. along Meeker and Graham Avenues in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn.
M: 2011 is going to be a very jolly weekend for the three of us. But we wanted all our amigos to know what our plans for the Big Apple were, so that's why we're doing our thing here in the Diary of Magecraft and at the KringleQuest Group on Facebook, as well!
B: Yeah! We love adventure, we love children, and of course we remember the real reason for it all.
G: That's right --- that wonderful little Baby we paid solemn homage to in that ancient old stable, some 2000 years ago. Everything we Three Kings do we do in His wondrous honor.
ALL: Amen.
G: Well, gentlemen --- shall we get this party started, then?
B: I second that proposal, sir!
M: Two thumbs up from me, Gaspar, ol' boy!
G: Good! Then let's wish our friends all the best of happy dreams no matter where they go! Sweet dreams, amigos!
ALL: Felices Pascuas a todos! Ole!

Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2011: What to Know

2011-01-05T11:57:00.001-08:00

Well, no sooner do I greet you folks again than Oscar Night doth loom upon us! Mo'Nique will be joining Academy President Tom Sherak at the Samuel Goldwyn Theatre in Academy Headquarters in Beverly Hills the morning of January 25th, to announce 10 of the 24 major Academy Awards you'll see LIVE on Sunday, February 27th, on ABC! Those ten, as usual, will be as follows:

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Best Screenplay Based Upon Material Previously Produced or Published
Best Achievement in Directing
Best Foreign Language Film
Best Animated Feature
Best Picture of the Year

And, of course, you know where that leaves me. Now, meet the team:

DON MISCHER, Executive Producer/Director
BRUCE COHEN, Co-Executive Producer
BOB DICKINSON, Lighting Designer
BRUCE VILANCH, Head Writer
DANETTE HERMAN, Coordinating Producer
STEVE BASS, Production Designer
DOUGLASS M. STEWART, JR., Supervisor, Film Package Segments
JAMES FRANCO and ANNE HATHAWAY, Hosts

There. Now you know enough to go on with. And of course, if certain matters are permitted to happen, I shall again (in civilian garb, mind you, and only if they're willing to put up with me) report on the telecast as it happens, on the spot and LIVE from the Southern Hospitality BBQ Bar & Grill at 77th Street and Lexington Avenue. This time, however, I'll be watching things from a booth in the back, where, hopefully, I shan't have a chance to make waves. Further news, and the gory details re the Nominees, are forthcoming!

New Year's Greetings from Blackwolf

2011-01-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

Well, King Magni Bronzebeard and the Pagemaster having shared their nice thoughts for you goodly gentles, 'tis time to restore control of this Diary of Magecraft to the star of this here show. That would be me.

For you newcomers to my adventures, know that I am Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, legendary scatter-brained Unofficial Wizard of New York City. My mission: to restore the forces of Niceness, Creativity and Imagination to a Byg Appyl sadly lacking in the aforementioned. Oh yeah, did I also mention I've been making a movie, too?

That movie is called Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, and is currently in post-production. Now if only I could find a way to get Stephen Steinberg and Orlando Fonseca II, the two sillies who run Eternal Damnation Productions, to get with the program and rendezvous with both their editor partner Otis Harris and myself, so that we can get this damn movie finished and shipped off to the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival, as we've been planning all along!

Anyway, and again in case you don't know, this is MY blog: Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft, where I bring you a few of the wild, nutty insane commentaries not only of myself, but also from some of my weirdest, wackiest friends from all across the Greater Multiverse.

But if you want to find out more about my adventures within and beyond Cyberspace, you need but access my fabulous Dark Chambers website; or, if that tends to bore you, you're welcome to bug me on Twitter and Facebook as well. You never know what adventures I might cajole you Mortals into following me on! (Heh-heh!)

But, in all seriousness, may I briefly pause to wish you all, my faithful fans, a joyous 2011, Mortal-reckoning! See you all bright and early on Easter Sunday, along with burly, rainbow-bearded Ms. Colombia; the twits from expletive deleted Rapid T. Rabbit and Friends (I'll grumble at them properly later!); and the newly-crowned Emperor Vanity Society and Empress Pepperica Swirl, from the Imperial Court of New York, who will have just celebrated their Silver Anniversary Night of a Thousand Gowns Dinner Dance and Charity Ball at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in Midtown Manhattan's Times Square! I'll be among them all, plugging the movie, posing for photos and otherwise being rather silly!

As ever, I remain,

Fearlessly yours,

Master Blackwolf

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Royal Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2011-01-05T10:40:00.000-08:00

Hey there, World of WarCraft fans! King Magni Bronzebeard here, and boy, am I a happy camper! The powers that be here in beautiful, downtown Irvine, California have seen fit to turn lovely, talented, Royal, Dwarven, ass-kickin' little ol' me into an action figure! Cool! What that means is, for a nice, excellent $16.99, including the obligatory shippin' and handlin', you Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes out there can take me home with you!

Frankly, I've never been an action figure before; I'm just so darn tickled pink that the Blizzbrass wanted to make me one! Now, I can truly say I rank among the immortals of collectible action figures: Barbie! Ken! Superman! Batman! Spawn! The Powerpuff Girls! (OK, I have yet to see them as action figures, but I'm sure you get my drift.)

Anyway, I'm so happy about my new action figure status that I've declared it a holiday here in Dun Morogh and Ironforge! And I'm calling it Let's-Hear-It-for-Me Day, because I think I'm gonna like being an action figure!

So, all I can say at this point is: Buy me --- or else! Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Blushing as pink as a Dwarf King can ever blush,

Your humble Royal Dwarf Dude,

Bronzie

The Death of Books? The Pagemaster Responds

2011-01-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

I am the Pagemaster, Keeper of the Books and Guardian of the Written Word!

For those of you who don't know me, 17 years ago, 20th Century-Fox and Turner Pictures, with the help of Macaulay Culkin and Christopher Lloyd, made a big-screen, live-action/CGI-animation feature (OK, so it ran 75 minutes; nonetheless, I still thought it was rather terrific!) starring yours truly. Macaulay portrayed young Richard Tyler, a boy so fearful of even his own shadow that he couldn't even dare to so much as buy a box of nails from a local hardware store!

Anyway, I am guest-blogging here in Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft to respond to the rather rude remarks of one Bill Deresiewicz, essayist and critic, concerning the death of the printed book, as presented in the op-ed section of the New York Daily News. Here, then, are his remarks in their entirety, followed, as promised, by my response:

Yesterday morning, like many thousands of Americans, you may have unwrapped a Kindle e-reader. Or perhaps it was a Nook, or an iPad, or a Kobo --- all, like the Kindle, devices that will take reading from the printed page into the digital domain.

Yes, the printed book is dead.

If that isn't universally apparent, that's just because it hasn't hit the floor just yet. Those of us who love books, those of us like me, poor schmuck, who are still dumb enough to even write books --- we're like medieval scribes in the decades after Gutenberg. They probably thought that they could hang on, too.

Physical books still dominate the market, bookstores talk about reinventing themselves, Luddites like me extol the virtues of the printed page, but these are all just signs of an age in transition. Books survive for now because there are still a lot of people around who grew up reading them. 50 years from now, there will hardly be any. Can you really imagine that anyone will still be printing books then, or building special furniture and buildings to store them? The whole idea will seem ridiculous, like hauling water from a well.

Already, we're reaching a tipping point. E-book sales are almost at the billion-dollar mark, projected to triple by 2015. By 2020, according to one expert, electronic sales will represent some 80%-90% of the entire publishing market. Sales of the Kindle may be as high as 8 million units this year. And with Google's launch of its own platform this month, e-books are now available on almost any Web-enabled device.

None of this means that reading itself is going away. But it will change, just as it did after Gutenberg invented the printing press. Reading online means skipping, skimming and surfing, rather than the deep immersion of the printed page. People rarely spend more than a few minutes on a given piece and then they tend to get impatient with anything longer than a few hundred, or at most a couple of thousand, words.

At the same time, because young people refuse to look at anything that isn't on a screen, the new e-readers are introducing books to an entirely new generation that would otherwise never go near them except under extreme educational duress.

The question, however, is what those books are going to look like. Google, to its credit, is keeping it simple: Its downloads will feature nothing but the words. But part of the allure of the other platforms is all their bells and buzzers that they embed within the text: links, multimedia, social networking opportunities. On the iPad, for example, reading competes with music, text messages and a literal carnival of other distractions. The Nook, which was born as a "dedicated" e-reader, is moving into the same direction --- its latest version includes streaming Pandora radio. That's great if you feel the need to listen to, say, Bruce Springsteen, but not if you wanna finally get into the end of Moby Dick.

And so the book becomes yet another Web page, a cacophony of come-ons and temptations. Young people may keep on reading books, but they're going to read them the way they do practically everything else --- on the run.

And if reading changes, so too will writing. For one thing, it's gonna get a whole lot more simplistic. Our sentence structures have already become far less sophisticated since the rise of television. Now, they will become more simple still. Complexity and sophistication can take time to process, and for that reason, they can be lost on the typical skimmer and/or skipper. They also take time to create, and if no one can appreciate them anyway, most writers will find that it usually doesn't pay to take the trouble. So once reading becomes skimming, writing will eventually become jotting. Just look at a typical blog comment: Montaigne's essays, they're not.

When you take the trouble to print something on paper and then bind that something between covers, what you're saying is that it's valuable enough to keep around for a little while. And once books have migrated to the realm of the screens, they will end up being blighted by the evanescence that touches everything else there. The pixels come and go, disposable and weightless. No wonder we never bother to give them their full attention: They simply don't ask for it. And if we won't spend at least more than a couple of minutes on one website, are we really going to force ourselves to sit through an entire book?

That's what worries me the most. Not that we won't create new literary forms, but that we'll no longer be capable of understanding the old ones. We might have every volume ever published at our fingertips, but even if the computer software is there to even access them, the cerebral software --- the human brain --- simply won't be. At least 99% of everything valuable that's ever been written is contained in books. When we lose the ability to comprehend them, we'll find ourslves trapped in a prison of the present instant: ignorant, empty and alone.

Ignorant? Empty? Alone? Now, because, as Keeper of the Books, it is my solemn duty to defend the printed page at all costs, I should like to address Mr. Deresiewicz' harshly written pronunciations on this issue:

Humans, as a rule, will often live to battle their own fears at their own pace; indeed, as I reminded young Richard Tyler: "Had I brought you into my chambers right from the start, you would not have had the courage to confront your own fears." Sadly, we do tend to move faster than the human eye can comprehend; the problem is simply that information is a constant pill, to be viewed as opposed to being swallowed. Yet there are still those for whom the written word, and thus, the physical book, will continue to mean everything, and that is why I, the Pagemaster, have decided to speak out on behalf of the physical book and those that love them.

When, 17 years ago, the movie that bears my illustrious name was released, critics dismissed it as a thinly-veiled, overly-preachy message picture about the world of books. Secretly, however, there are still those out there who take my movie's message on the thrill and power of reading seriously. Facing up to one's fears was just one of the issues addressed by the film; I realize that some of you may not have gotten the idea, but let this be understood: It was Steven Spielberg, oddly enough, who declared that, in his words, "Only a generation of readers can inspire a generation of writers." What Bill Deresiewicz wonders is: can a new generation of writers survive a digital age? Were you to ask one such as I, the answer you would get from me would be YES!

The fear of the death of the printed, physical book may cause others to speculate, that much is certain; indeed, as you read these comments, both Barnes & Noble and Borders, the two major bookstore chains in America today, are fighting not just for their survival, but also for the right to maintain their relevance in a world where modern technology can inspire the future. Needless to say, this old Pagemaster still remembers why books matter, even in a digital age.

And as for complexity and sophistication: let it be known that great art and all that it symbolizes cannot exist without a great artist to nurture it, to safeguard it, and especially to CHERISH it. That is what authors of books do; and I look forward to defending more and more of their kind for aeons to come.....

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Royal Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard

2010-12-15T07:04:00.000-08:00

Greetings, World of WarCraft fans! King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge here --- and, boy, is it ONE beautiful day in our little neighborhood, a/k/a beautiful downtown Irvine, California --- and there are about 3.3 million reasons why. And ya know what? YOU, loyal fans, are each and every one of them!

YOU, kiddos, have made us the fastest-selling video game in history --- and so here I am on the ol' Throne here in my Palace, chillin' out as I usually do, but this time with a trusty swig or two o' pina colada by the big chair celebrating. Maybe you like us for our quirky sense of humor, our constant propensity to kick some ass where necessary ..... or, if you're so inclined, maybe it's because there some of you out there, and you know who you are, who think Dwarves are sexy. (Which, of course, we are.)

Anyway, we wanna say thank you for your continued support, your sense of humor, and especially your trust and loyalty. All the Blizzard Entertainment boys and girls who are responsible for the wacky things we do around here say the same. As we approach our Christmas Celebrations --- yeah, Greatfather Winter's got something up his stocking for all us Dwarves, too --- we want you to know we're gonna stay #1 any way we can. And we're glad you're along for the ride!

Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

And now, a word from Blackbeard the Pirate:

2010-12-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

Alright, bilge rats! Blackbeard the Pirate here. Now shut up an' lissen:

Disney's just's released the first teaser trailer fer Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, due in theatres May 20th. As ye landlubbers know, Pirates 4 is an especially auspicious occasion for yer 'umble ol' pal Blackbeard, as it be me first major-studio movie in over 50 years; the last time I hit the big screen in a big way, the year wuz 1952. That Christmas Day, RKO Radio and Robert Newton (patron saint of Talk Like a Pirate Day) gave me all the magic I could muster, and me director than was Raoul Walsh. And naturally, that movie plaster'd me bloodthirsty name all over the screen, so's ye Mortals wouldn't ferget: Blackbeard, the Pirate! Cool, huh?

This is also the 15th official time the Jolly Roger has bin 'oisted over the airspace o' 500 South Buena Vista Street, not to mention me first Disney appearance since 1968. That film were Robert Stevenson's Blackbeard's Ghost, with scurvy ol' Peter Ustinov as me. They 'ad me alongside Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette, if'n I remembers correctly. This time, Ian McShane's playin' yers truly --- and not only that, Ted Elliott n' Terry Rossio made me into a daddy --- and Penelope Cruz is portrayin' me daughter Angelica! I can't tell ye much save that somehow, ol' Sparrow filches me daughter from me! How does he do it? You think I'll be tellin' ya that? No, fools! You sit on yer butts, me 'earties, and wait until May 20th to find out like everybody else, sez I, or I'll keelhaul ye fer certain!

Thar! Now that be all I'm sayin'! Now go see what ol' Blackwolf be up to!

Yers as always 'neath th' Jolly Roger,

Blackbeard

Blackwolf's 2011 Oscar Preview

2010-11-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

Well, Mortals, in case you weren't up to speed, there is chaos to share with you concerning the 83rd Annual Academy Awards: First of all, me old pal Don Mischer has joined forces with another veteran producer, Bruce Cohen, to oversee the February 27th telecast, staged as usual at the Kodak Theatre, and airing on ABC (natch!); and they've decided to bring in two rookies to serve as your hosts: James Franco and Anne Hathaway. (Oh yeah: Don will also be in the booth as telecast Director.)

Don and Bruce are of the notion that James and Anne "personify the next generation of Hollywood icons --- fresh, exciting and multi-talented. We hope to bring you an Oscar telecast that will both showcase their incredible talents that can entertain the world on Sunday evening, February 27th. And we're thrilled that James and Anne will join forces with our brilliant creative team to do just that."

This will be only Mr. Franco's second Oscar appearance; Ms. Hathaway will be on the show for the fifth consecutive time. Steve Bass joins the team as Production Designer; Danette Herman returns as Coordinating Producer; Douglass M. Stewart, Jr. will be in charge of film sequences and segment packages; Bob Dickinson will be on hand as Lighting Designer; Bruce Vilanch will lead the writing squad; with other veterans of the team to be determined.

Four icons of the cinema have been given their previously announced awards during the 2nd Annual Academy Governors' Awards, which Don Mischer also produced. They are:

Sir Kevin Brownlow, London-based preeminent film historian, preservationist and documentarian.

Jean-Luc Godard, French filmmaker and iconoclast, who has already stated that he will not attend this year's ceremony; however, the award was accepted by Academy President Tom Sherak, and will be delivered at a later date to Monsieur Godard's home in Geneva, Switzerland.

Eli Wallach, 91-year-old character actor, and current elder statesman amongst Hollywood's elite.

And finally, the Irving Thalberg Memorial Award has been bestowed upon ol' Zoetrope himself, Francis Ford Coppola, he of the Godfather Trilogy, Apocalyse Now, The Cotton Club, Peggy Sue Got Married, etc. With the Thalberg under his belt, Coppola now joins fellow Rebels Steven Spielberg and George Lucas as the three filmmakers of our generation to be given this proud honor.

OK, kids, now you know enough to go on with. More Oscar coverage to follow, assuming I can find a proper place to watch the show.

Master Blackwolf

The Royal Wedding, The Sequel: Another Blackwolfian Rant

2010-11-24T08:18:00.001-08:00

Well, here we go. We now know the when and where: Friday, April 29th, 2011 at Westminster Abbey in London (which is appropriate anyway, given that Westminster, by tradition, is where Britain's Kings and Queens have been crowned); from what your Dragonmaster has read, according to a recent poll, most Britons would rather have Wills and Kate as King and Queen as opposed to boring old Chuck and Camilla.

Given the choice, Mortals, ol' Blackwolf would go with Wills and Kate.

"But why would you wish the Royal lineage to skip by one, Master Blackwolf?" I hear ye asking. Know this: the House of Windsor of late hath not made any real noise, especially not since the loss of dearest Diana, Wills' mum. It's time someone raised a ruckus or two at Buckingham Palace, by Merlin's beard! Besides, I've long gotten my fill from the Royal Portraits of King George V and Queen Mary of Teck in their Coronation Robes; and those of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. This Mage takes his Royals seriously, kids; even as you read this, I'm imagining what King William VI and Queen Catherine will look like --- and more, it would be Britain's first-ever Coronation Ceremony to embrace a digital generation. It would be only the second such Coronation to do so, the first having taken place in Tonga; in case you didn't see that particular Coronation, here's a memory refresher:

King George Tupou V of Tonga, on his lofty, gold and spectacularly cool throne in Tonga's tiny National Cathedral, just two short years ago, in what your humble Dragonmaster still calls the Coolest Coronation Ever. (Be a dear and see my earlier entry, in case you really need to remember.) Meanwhile, let it be said that Wills and Kate as King and Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland --- that Coronation Ceremony, should it ever occur, will be the one to beat, say I!

As ever, America, I wanna know what you think. Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Santa Claus' 2010 "State of the Pole" Address

2010-11-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

NORTH POLE HEADQUARTERS, ARCTIC CIRCLE, 12/23/2010 --- On the official Night Before the Night Before Christmas Eve, the Throne Room of Santa Claus' Royal Palace and Toy Workshop once more filled en masse with an audience packed with Elves, Helpers, and an entire Who's Who of some of History's greatest, most famous do-gooders. All had answered the customary summons to present themselves before the presence of Their Most Sovereign Majesties, King Nicholas and Queen Vivianne of the Realm of Eternity, otherwise known as Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus.

In accordance with tradition, it is here, within the elegantly-constructed backdrop of Santa's Throne Room, that the legendary Jolly Old Elf, in his role as King Nicholas, personally greets those Mortals who, at the end of their alloted period of lifetime upon the Earth, have proven themselves to be brave, truthful and unselfish: the required criteria necessary in order to achieve permanent inclusion as a citizen of the Realm of Eternity.

King Nicholas and Queen Vivianne, seated upon two magnificently-upholstered Royal Thrones, were elegantly dressed in outfits befitting their regal station. King Nicholas' attire consisted of a fantastic, 14th-Century red-and-gold Baron's costume, topped by a fabulous roayl crimson cape with ermin trim. A long, fully-flowing, leonineseque white beard dominated his head; and the magnificent Royal Nicholean Crown rested comfortably upon his brow. Queen Vivianne's red-and-white gown was likewise topped by a royal crimson-and-ermine-trim cape; on her head, she wore the Consort's Crown of Eternity. In their hands, Their Majesties each wielded two priceless Royal Sceptres, both festooned with diamonds and pearls.

Finally, King Nicholas rose from his Throne, and a hush fell across the length and breadth of the crowd, as Santa Claus began his 2010 "State of the Pole" Address:

Greetings, fellow Believers and dear friends throughout the cosmos!

Once again, the time has come to share with the world the State of our glorious North Pole --- and believe me, 2010 has been so whirlwind that I barely know where to begin. The year began somewhat frighteningly, when it seemed as though a horrifying cloud of volcanic ash, emerging from an unexpectedly active volcano in Greenland might force our dear friends in the Earthly village of Klampenbourg to possibly cancel our annual gathering of Kringles, the World Santa Claus Congress. Fortunately, I am happy to report to you, Mother Nature decided, in her unchanging wisdom, that she simply didn't have the heart to ruin our deelgates' fun --- and, as a result, this year's Congress at Bakken not only took place as scheduled --- but at long last, after 53 years as one of Denmark's best-kept holiday secrets, the Congress finally found its way into the realms of the World Wide Web! I'm also pleased to inform you that the Congress' co-organizers, the Danish Santa Claus Guild, have likewise found their way into cyberspace, with a website that is unmistakably all their own! One thing's for sure, my friends: you can certainly expect this Jolly Old Elf to look in on all the merry goings-on at both http://www.worldsantaclauscongress.com/ and http://www.danskjulemandslaug.dk/ for the foreseeable future! Ho-ho-ho!

As usual, however, it has not always been fun and games here in the Kringleverse. Only a few short months ago, tension ran rampant amongst the populace of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Celebrate Santa was a marvelous concept on paper, but despite an epic 2-year staging, those responsible for its upkeep could not maintain the Festival financially for very long; and now, it is to be hoped that the City of Gatlinburg can attempt to collect that which is its rightful due, and have the various payments owed unto it properly taken care of. We will most certainly monitor what is obviously a continuing saga; whether or not that saga will end amicably is, for now, anyone's guess.

Regrettably, there has also been an intriguingly disturbing trend that has impacted neighborhoods in certain U.S. States and Canadian Provinces: in light of recent budgetary and economic concerns, several Santa Claus Parades are either being delayed, downsized, canceled, or simply rethought as Christmas happenings, most of them including and/or involving meet-n'-greet sessions and photo ops with dear Mrs. Claus and me. The prudency of most of these neighborhoods has to date been sensible; yet much of the time, the children are often disappointed as a result of these horrid situations. I have had to personally respond to questions from more than a few of my faithful subjects asking me, "How do you explain economics to a 3-year-old child?" A difficult dilemma, to say the least, and one not easily solved. The virtue of patience must be very carefully taught within the child, so that the little ones can fully understand situations such as the aforedescribed. We'll obviously be monitoring this especially controversial trend during the next few weeks and months.

The Mortals' Realm has also had to bid farewell to three of our more significant heroes, whose contributions to our Clausian legacy will never be surpassed. First, in May, Will Koch, the President and CEO of Holiday World & Surfin' Safari Theme Park in Santa Claus, Indiana, apparently drowned in his own swimming pool at his residence. There are those, not just in the Koch family itself, but in the entire Town of Santa Claus, who would tell you that young Will died too soon. One would hope that Will's brother Dan will continue the traditions that have long shaped Holiday World's legacy.

Then, in August, the Mortals in Richmond, Virginia lost Retired Detective Sergeant Dalton Rotruck "Ricky" Duling, known amongst young and old as the famous "Sergeant Santa," who dedicated his life's mission to reminding Richmond's children that policemen need not necessarily be someone to be afraid of. Sgt. Santa went out of his way to make certain that every child became aware of that; how fortunate we are indeed that he succeeded.

Finally, in September, in Burlington, Ontario, Canada, their Mortals honored a third icon of Christmas --- perhaps the oldest such icon in the history of our traditions. When, in 1963, Miss Billie Mae Richards sat in front of a microphone, surrounded by an unlikely cast of some of the finest names in Canadian radio, no one knew that they'd be putting together the major element of a television legend: the 1964 stop-motion animated special Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Long before then, Billie Mae had been a leading child star in early Canadian film, eventually becoming one of the most familiar personalities in Canadian radio. Truly, one can say that there is simply no Rudolph without Billie Mae Richards.

Tomorrow morning, before my final preparations for my Christmas Eve flight, we will, per our traditional rituals, set into motion the process to welcome Will, Dalton and Billie Mae into the Realm of Eternity. Each has met the required criteria for inclusion amongst our citizenry; I look forward to greeting all three of them in person.

As you know, the Great Santa Claus Oath, whose Eight Principles are indeed required reading by us all, was conceived by a true defender of my legacy, Mr. Philip L. Wenz. For over 40 years, Phil has consistently and honorably protected that legacy, from the time when, at the tender age of four, he first decided that he actually wanted to become Santa Claus --- to today, when, as a leading Santa Claus performer, historian and archivist, he has repeatedly demonstrated that, in placing Santa's name and likeness into a positive light, he has chosen to make a difference. Accordingly, the creators of the ClausNET website have seen fit to induct Phil into their first-ever Santa Claus Hall of Fame. We here in the Realm of Eternity congratulate Phil on what clearly is a well-deserved tribute.

We also salute Phil's efforts as leader of a spectacular two-year journey for his Great Santa Claus Oath Book. The Oath, which honors the memory of two great Santa Legends --- Charles W. Howard, the world's first great Santa Claus instructor; and Raymond James (Jim) Yellig, the performer who was the living image of the entire Town of Santa Claus, Indiana --- has traveled across 5 countries and 37 major cities, has been the subject of more than 70 public events, and has been signed by over 3000 Santas, Mrs. Clauses, Elves, Helpers and others. Now, after two unique closing ceremonies --- the first, in July, at Paradise, PA's National Christmas Center; the second, in September, on the grounds of Mr. Howard's old homestead in Albion, New York --- the Book has been returned to its permanent home at Santa's Candy Castle in Santa Claus, where it will remain enshrined until November 3rd, 2035: the 100th Anniversaries, not only of the Candy Castle itself, but also of the Town's own Santa Claus Statue; the founding by Jim Yellig of the Santa Claus American Legion; and Charles W. Howard's very first season as a department store Santa .... so that future generations may remember the Oath's kindly philosophy. We reverently, profoundly and nobly pay homage to those who have signed this vital, significant document; and we offer our thanks for all their combined efforts in supporting the Santa Claus tradition.

On a personal note, if you'll all kindly indulge me, I wish to take a moment to recognize another significant milestone, one that is especially dear to me. When Alexander and Ilya Salkind and Pierre Spengler approached me 25 years ago with the idea that they wanted me to tell my story in a way that no one had ever heard it told before, at first I thought that their idea bordered along the lines of silliness.

"Why," I asked them, "would I want to make another movie?"

"That's precisely the whole point," the boys told me. "We don't want it to be just 'another' movie. We want our audience to be immersed in the total Santa Claus experience; and more, we want to make absolutely sure that your legend is presented on the screen with the credibility that your legions of admirers have expected from you."

So it was, then, that on November 27th, 1985, Santa Claus: The Movie was first shared with the world. Dismissed by imagination-lacking film critics, particularly in the U.S., this wonderful, magical film has nonetheless come out on top because, as had been the case with those three films starring our dear next-door neighbor up here at the pole (that would, of course, be Kal-el, son of Jor-el of the Planet Krypton --- more legendarily known as Superman), there were those who were, and still are, unfailingly loyal to this movie's inventiveness, incredible style, and visual excitement which dazzled the eye and inspired many new dreams in a time long before computer-generated imagery ever became an almost day-to-day part of the technological DNA of film.

25 years later, there's not a child or an adult alive who hasn't been enchanted by Santa Claus: The Movie and its ground-breaking parable of youthful innocence versus bigtime greed, where the spirit of Christmas blossoms in its truest, most non-denominational form possible. Alexander Salkind left the Mortals' Realm in March of 1997, fearing that his filmmaking legacy would be lost to the world forever. Ilya, luckily, would, I suspect, have something to say about that. Today, he calls that something the Ilya Salkind Company. He's in his mid-60's by now, I'd guess, but thanks to the various projects he's working on, Ilya's now ready, as he himself had hoped, to pass the torch onto the next great generation of filmmakers to bear the Salkind name.

Please join me, then, in saluting Ilya Salkind and all the survivors of the cast and crew of Santa Claus: The Movie, without whose combined efforts there'd be fewer believers not just in me, but in the entire Realm of Forever as well. To them, let me say that, regardless of the opinions of others, your hard work and dedication were not in vain!

Now, please, let me briefly return to my earlier reference to Mother Nature. Humankind has taken for granted just how much of her resources we continue to destroy because we constantly make critical errors in judgment --- including, alas, that far more horrifying error called war. The incidents in and around the Gulf of Mexico should have reminded the Mortals that money, power and greed will, when left unchecked and uncontrolled, plunge the world into acts of chaos from whence there could be no escape. Sadly, such lessons have failed to achieve their intended purpose; and not even Santa Claus' wisdom can right that wrong in that particular manner. What, then, should one do?

I would say to you: seek out that which matters in your own secret heart. Believe --- for Hope, as with all else in this Life, cannot be achieved without loss; nor can Freedom be strengthened without suffering; or Victory won without sacrifice. Now and forever, the strength and the will to believe will rest on the shoulders of each and every one of you assembled here in this Throne Room tonight. How I wish I could describe in words how I've spent all these centuries believing in you all in return: first, as Nicholas, Bishop of Myra; then, as Father Christmas, le Pere Noel, Sinterklaas, Joulenissen, Joulupukki, Tomtenissen, Ded Moroz (Grandfather Frost) ..... of course, as Santa Claus --- and now, as Nicholas, King of the Realm of Forever --- the names, the places, the traditions are endless, which is as it should be. I hope that all we've accomplished as we bring 2010 to its close will bring us on course to maintain our faiths well into 2011 and far, far beyond.

Speaking of 2011, in closing: Where will the journey take us come New Year's Day, I wonder? We all know that Pasadena's Tournament of Roses isn't very far away, mind you, with its theme of "Building Dreams, Friendships and Memories." I know you are all looking forward to witnessing a magical adventure on that score. I'm sure that this year's Rose Parade Grand Marshal, Food Network veteran Paula Deen, is looking forward to that adventure too, as are 2011 Rose Parade Queen Evanne Elizabeth Friedman and her Princesses: Tatyane Anaid Berrios; Sarah Christine Frederickson; Jessica Michelle Montoya; Tenaya Miyoko Senzaki; Kathryn Morris Thomson and Michelle Kaye Washington. I hope right along with all of them that the next 12 months will bring a renewed prosperity and joyfulness. I expect the same, of course, from you, my beloved and noble subjects.

But now, you must all excuse me, for it's just about time for me to get out of these rather elegant Royal garments, and back into my more familiar red-velvet suit. Soon my Christmas Eve flight will begin, and I think my young admirers deserve a visit from the one true Santa Claus (that, of course, would be me). So, to each and every one of you here within the sound of my voice, and to you each and all throughout the cosmos far beyond, I say once more, as I have long said time and again across the aeons ---

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT!

The Royal Wedding, The Sequel: A Blackwolfian Rant

2010-11-17T07:00:00.001-08:00

Well, Mortals, here it starts. Here we go.

Prince William has popped the question all of England has been waiting for --- and in so doing, dearests, hath caused your humble Dragonmaster the ultimate migraine!

The future King of Great Britain used his Mumsey's own engagement ring to propose to gal pal Kate Middleton, who would obviously be called Catherine from thenceforward. Well, you don't need ol' Blackwolf to figure out the rest for yourself: the Royal Wedding --- The Sequel --- to take place next spring and/or summer in London --- will doubtless further strain this old Mage's already exhausted resources. I ain't yet decked me halls, let alone prepared meself for Black Friday, and already folks are chomping at the bit and looking ahead to what could be the biggest live television event ever, dwarfing all others in terms of size, scope and viewership!

Super Bowl XLIV was a mere blip compared 'gainst the potential this baby has, combined with the fact that London will also host the Games of the XXXth Olympiad in 2012. The BBC, bbc.co.uk and bbcnews.com will obviously spare no expense in mounting an elephantine project that could be seen by some 1 BILLION people throughout the world! And one Wizard --- ME --- may yet be totally and utterly lost in the vast tsunami of it all!

Well, only one thing for it, then: I'm gonna hafta seek out Her Majesty's Facebook presence. As I do so, this warning: Best behavior is essential! Decorum is demanded at all times! Put simply, you just do not mess about with Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor. Period. She is Legend with a capital L, and as such, is not to be treated lightly.

My only prayer: that my current adventures and related stuff will allow me to focus. Until then, I can only wish those cute kids good luck. The time is at hand when the Wizards of the Multiverse will stand as one in the name of Love. Please join foolish ol' Blackwolf in weathering Love's potential storms.

Checking In for All Me Dear, Dear Fans!

2010-11-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Mortals!

Oh, by Merlin's beard, 'tis been a while since last I uttered those two words, eh what?

Well, for those of you not in the know, methinks a brief intro is in order. Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, New York City's Unofficial Wizard, at your service!

In case you don't know what I do, this is my Diary of Magecraft. Here, I reveal some of my most delightful, unusual secrets --- and, as you might expect from one as deliciously twisted as yours truly, they're bound to be as off-the-wall and as entertaining as the boldest, most risk-taking New York eccentric can make them!

The Diary of Magecraft is a component of my Dark Chambers website; in addition to that, I have invaded Facebook and Twitter as well. (Oh yeah, did I mention I just finished making my own documentary? Oh yes! It's called Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, and right now, it's in post-production mode, so that it can be unleashed on the world next spring!)

But do enjoy yourself now while you're here; I promise you, dearests, you won't be bamboozled for now! I'll leave that task to my new best friend, the Questmaster, whom you can find at http://magiquest.com! Toodles for the moment!

Fearlessly yours, as always,

Master Blackwolf

Dino De Laurentiis, 1919-2010: Kong Reacts

2010-11-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

From the files of People.com:

Dino De Laurentiis, one of the last of the cigar-chomping movie moguls, died last Thursday at his Beverly Hills home, his daughter and fellow film producer Raffaella De Laurentiis has confirmed. He was 91.

Colorful, bold and tough, De Laurentiis produced over 500 motion pictures that spanned the works of Italian masters Federico Fellini and Roberto Rossellini to, beginning in the 1960's, a cornucopia of highbrow and lowbrow Hollywood-based sagas, among them Serpico, The Bible: In the Beginning...., The Parallax View, Three Days of the Condor, the 1980 adaptation of Flash Gordon, the radically insane Dune, the original Death Wish, Blue Velvet, Conan the Barbarian, Red Sonja, Maximum Overdrive, Million Dollar Mystery --- and the ever-maligned yet still somehow entertaining 1976 remake of King Kong.

"My grandfather was a true inspiration. He was my biggest champion in life, and a constant source for wisdom and advice. I will miss him dearly," Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis, 40, told the Hollywood Reporter in a statement.

Besides Raffaella and Giada, Dino leaves behind his wife and partner, the former Martha Schumacher, their daughters Carolyna and Dina; and their sisters, Veronica and Francesca, whose mother, De Laurentiis' first wife, actress Silvana Mangano, died in 1989. Also surviving are Dino's own three sisters, Anna, Raffaella Cimino and Rose; four other grandchildren; and two great-grandchildren. Federico De Laurentiis, the sole son in the family, who had co-executive produced the 1976 King Kong, died in a plane crash in 1981.

The celebrated giant ape issued the following statement from his home on the mysterious Skull Island:

Me Kong. Famous big ape. Heard of passing of Dino De Laurentiis. Dino make my 1976 movie. Dino ruined Kong's reputation. Never got to crush Dino. Damn! Jessica Lange hated every moment she was in Kong's fist. So what? Kong not even understand why Dino had to make a third movie. He called it King Kong Lives! He make it in North Carolina. Wanted me to have kids! He no leave Kong alone. Well, Kong home here on Skull Island, with only one good memory of Hollywood. Me already talk about Fay Wray; you know how Kong miss her. Go home for now. Kong need time to think things over. Kong no miss Dino. Never forgive him for what he did to Kong. Kong no care about Hollywood Walk of Fame; that fans love Kong today is enough. Now go home!

Preparing for November

2010-10-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well, as Christmas will soon be upon us, I am now following two blogs from Rochester, New York's own Santa Claus-in-residence, Lee Strong: The View from the Choir and Santa's Diary. Let's face it, with Macy*s 84th Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade just around the corner, it seemed inevitable that I'd want to follow jolly old Saint Nick (who, of course, will once again guest-blog here frequently). As ever, stay ye tun'd!

Suffering for Adventure, Silliness .... and a Documentary Movie

2010-10-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

I remember well, Mortals, how my seven Wizardly superiors, the Grand High Istari, first challenged me to take on this crazy job. They warned me that New York City would be jam-packed with all sorts of interesting strange beings, the majority of whom would do anything and everything to prevent me from fulfilling my mission: to remind the Mortalfolk of ye Byg Appyl that Imagination MUST be safeguarded, defended and cherished, else the populace herein shall be doomed to a life forever dominated by the forces of doubt.

2010, Mortal-reckoning may not be over just yet for another two months, dearests, but as far as your humble Dragonmaster's concerned, the verdict's already in: More disappointments, more traumae! At least, the one way I was properly able to cope with the horrors of all these disappointments was by making a documentary movie starring yours truly --- Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard! Now, that movie will film its final major sequence at this Sunday night's Greenwich Village Halloween Parade (assuming that I can make it down there) --- and then our director-cinematographer, Stephen Steinberg, our editor, Otis Harris, and yours truly, will begin a mammoth six-month post-production phase --- in between which, I also have to put up with people coming in and out of my damn apartment so that they can replaster and repaint all the walls of the place, including (dammit!) my bloomin' bedchambers!

Frankly, kids, I'm starting to run out of stamina here. When you're a Wizard who has made the commitment to kicking ass in the name of the City, County and State of New York on a 24/7/365 basis, the one problem you don't expect to deal with is what it can cost you in physical terms. You're overtaxed, overtired, and frequently overannoyed until it reaches a point where you just can't bloody take it anymore! And lemme tell ya, I've come so dangerously close to that level over the years that now, I'm almost ready to collapse!

But, as ever, I don't like leaving things unfinished --- and once Quite an Imagination is properly finished, edited and released, then and only then will I be free to declare my labors done .... in which case, I can only say, as ever:

Pray, stay ye tun'd!

Master Blackwolf

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Majesty King Magni Bronzebeard

2010-10-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hey there, World of WarCraft fans! And a very special shout-out to my Dwarf-lovin' pals at the Hobbit-obsessed universe that is TheOneRing.net! King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge here, chillin' out in my way cool Throne Room, keepin' tabs not only on our usual doings here at Blizzard Entertainment/Activision Blizzard Headquarters, here in fabulous Irvine, California, but also, as I just mentioned, on the doings going on with the new Hobbit movies!

Other than the fact that Peter Jackson's gonna direct both of 'em --- which, after all, is exactly all you Hobbit fans ever wanted, right? --- we got some way cool actors playing Thorin Oakenshield and his Company! First, Richard Armitage is gonna be the Big T.O. himself, the ultimate King under the Mountain; and then we got Aidan Turner doin' the role of Kili; Robbie Kazinsky as Fili; Graham McTavish as Dwalin; John Callen as Oin; Stephen Hunter as big fat Bombur; Mark Hadlow as Dori; and Peter Hambleton as Gloin (Gimli's dad). Damn! Hey, Peter: all this is cool so far, but I need to know who's up for the roles of Balin, Nori, Ori, Bifur and Bofur.

Of course, it's already been confirmed about Martin Freeman starring as Bilbo Baggins --- THE DUDE! --- who sets all the adventure into motion; now, we just gotta get the Big Three signed up. You know who I'm talkin' about, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes: Ian McKellen as Gandalf (he better!); Andy Serkis as Gollum (don't even THINK of not signing him up!) and Hugo Weaving as Elrond! I hear that Sylvester McCoy's already joined the cast in the part of Radagast the Brown, though I ain't sure how Pete, Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens are gonna get him involved in the story!

Well, kids, that's as much as we can squeeze outta the rumor mill/confirmation thingie. What little else I can tell you is this: The Hobbit, Parts I and II, will be presented by New Line Cinema and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, with Warner Bros. handling U.S.-Canadian/North American distribution and MGM taking on international distribution. We'll try to stay on top of stuff as best we can from our post here in Ironforge. Besides, we're Dwarves, and this is the way we roll. Anyway, congrats, Blackwolf, on 600 posts in your Diary of Magecraft --- and good luck this Sunday doing that Halloween Parade! It's a pleasure being post #601! We'll party hearty once you get up to the big one-triple-o!

Until next time, stay cool, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Love,

Bronzie

The Diary of Magecraft, Missive #600!

2010-10-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, Mortals, we've made it at long last! Welcome to Missive #600 in this, Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft .... and while it seems as though I've sort of abandoned this old blog, that's not so. For now, I am without my old laptop (because someone rather silly wanted to clean it, and only ended up making a rather bizarre mistake into the bargain); and I am struggling to systematically clean out my bedchambers, that I might avoid being grumbled at by the fire marshals for, in their words, failure to dispose of hazardous materials properly. Look, I'm half-killing meself to get my damn job done as well as get my plans together to do the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, my participation in which I hope to record as the last major sequence in my still-in-production documentary movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard!

And afterwards, we're supposed to start a crucial six-month post-production phase, wherein Stephen Steinberg (our director/cinematographer), Otis Harris (our editor) and I must join our forces; but that has had to be compromised by my recent confrontation with the fact that I am, essentially, a charter member of New York City's unknown populace of 'hoarders'. Nevertheless, the commitment to the Halloween Parade has been made; and if I have to get to the Parade route on foot, so help me, I will!

Nevertheless, by this time, everything should be properly put aside so that I can return to that which sadly passes for sanity; and I can, I hope, concentrate on working with Stephen and Otis on bringing the film together in a way that I can approve of. Y'know, I really wish New York City would stop making me constantly bonkers every time I try to focus on something that absolutely matters to me! Well, one thing's for sure: Lordi, my Official Rock Band, is once more not doing much on Halloween, which means (again) that I must turn to the glorious boobs of dearest Elvira, Mistress of the Dark --- who, at least, bothers to let her fans know what she's up to!

Meanwhile, my children, I won't leave you behind for any reason; you have all become too dear for me to do anything that silly. Know that I still think of you --- even if, as recently happened, one or two of New York's Finest still want to have me put in ye old pokey for merely being funny-looking, to say nothing of disturbing the peace! Dearest gendarmes, this is New York City. We live to disturb the peace, you sillies! The problem was simply that someone complained about me behind my back, which I hate; look, if you have a problem with me, please have the decency to complain to me in my face!

Well, enough kvetching from this foolish old beetlehead! I've enough to worry about without being driven nuts by mine adopted metropolis; but this is what I get for being New York City's Unofficial Wizard. Regardless --- I said we're stuck wi' each other, Byg Appyl --- and after almost a decade of faithful service, you sure as hell better get used to me, because if ye still haven't gotten it about Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, come Springtime 2011, my parent company, Electric Pirates Entertainment, along with Stephen Steinberg's Eternal Damnation Productions LLC, are gonna make damn sure you get it about me once and for all!

Fearlessly yours, as ever,

Master Blackwolf

Conversing with King Salmonella of Vulgaria

2010-10-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

As you read this, Mortals, I am sharing a few words with His Vulgarian Majesty, King Salmonella from the Kansas City Renaissance Festival (Mundanely known as Tim Hunt). Obviously, he thinks I'm a wonderful fellow; and I have invited the Vulgarian Royal Court to "crash" the Quite an Imagination Release Party --- assuming we make it to that level. But there's so much planning and preparation to handle first, to say nothing of those six months of post-production! Nevertheless, I've invited everyone --- the Royals from the Imperial Court of New York; Ik the Troll; King Tiberias and Queen Sybella of Jerusalem; of course, ol' Poopstar and Robert Smigel; Lordi and fiends (presumably, with their new monster on drums); Thor the Barbarian and Family; Her Majesty, Margaret, Queen of Scotland and the Isles, from the Scarborough Renaissance Festival; Her Majesty, Elizabeth I from the New York Renaissance Faire Sterling Forest; King Henry the Red of Shiabruck; Sir Clisto; Ryleh the Wanderer; Master Craig, the Minstrel Lutenist; the Bedlam Bards --- in short, everyone who has contributed in their own small way to making a difference in this foolish old Wizard's life.

How do I thank them all for making this foolish, ancient Wizard's many, many exciting and twisted dreams come true? Oh, how I long to have them all have a copy of the movie when it's finished! I just can't wait to start our post-production phase so that it can finally happen!

In the meantime, Missive #600 in this Diary of Magecraft is on its way. As ever, pray, stay ye tun'd!

Master Blackwolf

Following Ol' Good King Hal

2010-10-13T10:42:00.001-07:00

Your humble Dragonmaster has chosen to follow Henry VIII's Blog --- that would be http://goodkinghal.blogspot.com --- because it's a terrific companion piece to http://www.goodkinghal.co.uk --- and because Mike Farley is probably the jolliest Henry VIII impersonator I know. Besides, as I near the 600-missive mark in this Diary of Magecraft, I realize now that it's getting a little bit lonely around here, and frankly, I am quite desperate for a Throne Room to hang out in --- and Good King Hal's Throne Room, as far as I'm concerned, fits the bill. Mike Farley tells some very hilarious tales, the silliest of them thus far being a piece called "King for Sale," in which he chronicles the time he decided to put one of his appearances up for sale on eBay. Hmmmm ..... mayhap I might follow His Majesty's example, eh what?

Anyway, please continue your adventures, Sire! I look forward to reading more of them, as I find them hilarious, intensely noble, and full of all the crazy situations a King might find himself in while stuck in the 21st Century, Mortal-reckoning. And if perchance Your Majesty dares claim a Realm 'pon Facebook, I shall waste little time in liking you! Huzzah!

Today's Guest Blogger: Stoick the Vast!

2010-10-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Viking lovers, from the Island of Berk! Stoick the Vast, Chieftain of the Hairy Hooligans here! Hey, guess who decided to invade the previously nice and quiet worlds of DVD and Blu-ray! That would be us --- the gang from DreamWorks Animation's How to Train Your Dragon --- my son Hiccup, his loyal Dragon steed Toothless, my old pal (and Hiccup's teacher/mentor) Gobber the Belch .... and all the rest of us proud-hearted Vikings are gonna take over the world of DVD and Blu-ray this Friday --- and we want you to be in on it all! So I'm guest-blogging in Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft to let you all know. And I almost forgot: We're gonna join Cartoon Network's regular primetime lineup next year, too, because we knew you wanted to come back and pillage with us every week! Don't you despair, Junior Hooligans --- we're comin' fer ya!

I guess Shrek Forever After won't hit the video stores until before or after Christmas. Who knows? Still, we're all proud of the big green lug. Were it not for him, DreamWorks Animation wouldn't have shot its way into the stratosphere in the first place. Our next journey into the weird is Megamind, and that'll be in theatres November 5th. Boy, there's gonna be a whole lot of crazy things happening before Puss in Boots gets his turn in the spotlight! Well, all this old Viking can say is --- stay tuned! And while you're at it, say hello to those burly beasties who are hungrier than us --- Tony Swatton's Norse Hollywood Dining Vikings! They'll learn you a thing or four about what it means to plunder and pillage ... for the greater glory of your belly!

(Oh yeah, did I mention the Diary of Magecraft will soon hit the 600-missive mark?)

Happy head-bashing, Viking fans!

Best wishes,

Stoick the Vast

Once More, the Case for: Dumbledore for President

2010-10-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, dearests, the time is now at hand when the world is on the brink. Across our country and far beyond, our streets are overrun with hatred, panic, desperation and deep fear. Policemen and other law-enforcement officials can do little, despite their continued attempts at so-called bravado; every public official your Dragonmaster has ever dared to name simply is either clueless or cares not a whit for his/her duties; and as for protestors, there is only one word emerging from their lips: ANARCHY.

There is a darkness among us, Mortals. Once again, the days are coming when this generation must choose between that which is right and that which is easy. And so, once more, at the risk of leaping from the pool of utter insanity, I must sound the call that matters.

I give not a fuck how dead you are, Dumbledore. You're needed in the White House. NOW.

Yes, I am once again making the case for Dumbledore for President. There is now no longer any excuse. To suggest otherwise is to suggest that I join these fools who would make the case for anarchy. No, I won't!

With Albus Dumbledore properly ensconsed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, our world would be free of the chaos and insanity under which it now suffers. Humanity has fallen too far from grace for any one individual to rescue it now. Only one who is beyond individual can attempt such a rescue; I say that Dumbledore is that one.

Wanna tell me how nuts I am, America? You know what you need to do --- gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

Here he goes again, again! (Aargh!)

2010-10-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Blarst you, Naked Cowboy! Once again, you have succeeded in completely flustering your dear fellow Champion of the Imagination --- by deciding that you're running for President of the United States! May I remind you, Robert John Burck, that you wussed out last year when you proposed to run for Mayor of the City of New York! Put simply, I ain't holdin' my breath as far as Naked Cowboy for President is concerned!

Y'know, Mortals, it doesn't take much to annoy Blackwolf the Dragonmaster. Merdwin the Mediocre decides to strike out for Central Florida to land a gig at Universal Orlando's Wizarding World of Harry Potter --- only to have the whole silly business crash down when it becomes obvious that he can't find a place to stay when off duty; then I remain thwarted in my efforts to learn what's happening with the 2010 National Christmas Tree Program --- which, I fear, may be a total flop for the mere presence of President and Mrs. Obama; I even doubt that there will be those who will wish to tune in to the second national PBS presentation, to be distributed again by WETA/Washington, D.C.; and to be produced by Brooklyn's own Alex Coletti Productions. Then, to really put the icing on the cake, I have to scramble for an alternative method of logging on, much less updating people, re the status of my own Dark Chambers website! Of course, I couldn't hang out with dear Poopstar (that's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, for you more uninformed Mortals) at the Beacon Theatre the other night; as I speak, Robert Smigel continues to edit the footage shot at Night of Too Many Stars. And anyway, I was already booked for the Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park; I thank King Tiberias and the Royal Court of Jerusalem for helping me feel my strength when I needed it the most.

Dearests, there are going to be limits --- for now --- as to how I'll be able to contact you all. Hence, my contacting you now from glorious Downtown Brooklyn. I'll try to do something here tomorrow, but I can't promise anything. Pray, stay ye tun'd!

Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Majesty King Magni Bronzebeard

2010-09-17T07:04:00.001-07:00

What's up, World of Warcraft fans? King Magni Bronzebeard here.

Y'know, normally on a Friday, we'd be ready for another party-down day here in beautiful downtown Irvine, California. Not today, unfortunately. Check out the following, and you'll figure it out:

Brian Wood spent his life thrilling millions of gamers; yet he was to spend his last moments on Earth rescuing those he loved most of all.

33-year-old Wood, a lead designer at popular game developer Relic Entertainment, was on his way back to his Washington State home when his wagon was struck by an oncoming Chevy Blazer, being driven by a 21-year-old woman believed to be driving under the influence. With his pregnant wife Erin in the passenger seat, Wood swerved his own car, putting himself directly in the path of the oncoming SUV: a move that ultimately cost him his life, but nonetheless protected his wife and unborn child from harm. Two other passengers riding in the backseat of the Blazer were also killed.

"All the policemen say that if we'd hit the car head-on, all of us would be dead," Erin Wood told The Vancouver Province. "At the very last second, [Brian] braked really hard and turned right so that he would be put in the path of the SUV, and not me and the babay, and that is the only thing that saved us both. He was always sacrificing himself for me and the baby."

Brian's impossibly brave act may have left a permanent void in Erin's life, but the very people whom he strove to please with his work have returned the favor with an unprecedented show of support for his bereaved widow. Within days of the incident, a Memorial Trust was set up; and countless game developers, journalists and fans posted links on Twitter and Facebook, resulting in literally thousands of supportive comments, messages and financial donations --- prompting Erin to send an open letter to the gaming community to popular gamers' blog Kotaku:

"Hello, my name is Erin Wood, and I wanted to send a request to please pass along my most sincere, heartfelt thanks to the entire gaming community for the overwhelming support provided to me in the past two weeks. I asked several of Brian's co-workers how I might best send along my thanks; and they recommended sending them to Kotaku --- hence, this e-mail. Any way you can help share this with the community would be much appreciated.

"Brain always told me about how close-knit and wonderful the videogame community was, but I had no idea until this tragedy just how special a group it really is. From all the articles and comments, to all the e-mails and donations, I am simply stunned and so touched by the love, kindness, and generosity shown to me and my family. As everyone knows, these last 10 days have been the darkest and most difficult days of my life. But it's been a journey eased tremendously by the thoughts, prayers and well wishes received from friends, family, and total strangers living all over the world. It is just so meaningful for me to hear about how my husband's work and enthusiasm for this industry has touched so many others.

"Brian was completely and utterly devoted to the gaming industry, and was pretty much living his dream every day. He woke up every morning excited to be working in such a creative, demanding field. It was such a joy to be married to someone who was absolutely passionate about his professional life.

"Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all the compassion and support. It is so appreciated, and has been a light to me in this impossible situation."

Brian Wood had been assigned to the post of Senior Designer for Company of Heroes Online, currently in open beta test.

Well, there you go, kids --- and on behalf of all my fellow Dwarves, I just have to say: we here in Azeroth are here for you, Erin Wood. You just say the word, we'll do whatever we can for you, dear. Wanna help Erin and her family out? Do some good over at http://www.brianwoodmemorialtrust.com. See, even here in the world of Blizzard Entertainment, we don't just cater to our fans. When something like this happens, we give 'em as much of a helping hand as we can give 'em --- and that's something that takes REAL courage!

Until next time, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes. Hang in there.

Love,

Bronzie

A Hero for Us All: Charlie Daniels

2010-09-11T07:25:00.001-07:00

Today, as we honor solemnly the memory of those who perished nine years ago, your Dragonmaster herewith suggests a visit to CharlieDaniels.com. From this morning's New York Post, Brent Bozell speaking:

It was some 30 years ago when I first caught a Charlie Daniels concert. He was then back-up to the Marshall Tucker Band at the old Capital Centre outside Washington, D.C. --- and he stole the show! When he finshed his blazing set, the crowd erupted and had him brought back for an encore. When the Marshall Tucker Band finished their fine performance, it made no difference: the capacity crowd roared for more from Charlie Daniels.

It's a metaphor for his whole life. At a time when he should deservedly be disappearing into the shadows, he's back --- and the crowds are going wild once more. Despite recovering from a recent stroke, and nearing the ripe young age of 74, Charlie still plays about 100 concerts per year, among them Sean Hannity's "Freedom Concerts" to benefit the children of our fallen and disabled American soldiers through Oliver North's Freedom Alliance. So much has Charlie become ingrained into these Freedom Concerts, having played all eight of them this year, and in the effort to support our military worldwide, that this man deserves a tribute all his own.

He is, simply, America's unsung singing hero.

In recent years, I've come to know Charlie personally, enough so that I can confidently say that this man just isn't looking for tributes. You get the feeling that, at his age, he just doesn't need any.

He does it because he loves America, and because he wants to honor the military by performing at certain "unique and heartwarming" Freedom Concerts that entertain crowds full of "hard-working, God-fearing, patriotic folks, the salt-of-the-earth middle Americans who have fought our wars, raised good citizens and kept the wheels of progress moving forward in our Nation for over 200 years."

"Patriotism to me is always in style, but now --- especially now --- we need a little shot in the arm," he says.

He knows, too, that it can sometimes take one catastrophe to remind us of our common national bond: "9/11 was definitely a wake-up call to everyone about our country, and about how truly precious it is --- about what can and what did happen here. It never happened here before, and it showed us that we're a lot more vulnerable than we used to be. So, as we go along, we tend to forget about those pictures of the planes crashing into the Towers and all those things that went on that day."

In 2006, CBS Early Show weatherman Dave Price asked Charlie why at his age he was performing for soldiers in Iraq. Charlie's answer was precious: "I can't carry a gun, y'know; and I can't fight --- but I can darn sure carry a guitar and a pick, so that's why I'm here." On the same broadcast last year, Price recalled: "With all the great acts that are generous enough to give their time, when Charlie Daniels steps out in front of all those soldiers, sailors, and Marines, it's like ..... unreal."

The Charlie Daniels Band has performed for American troops throughout the world, not just in Iraq, but everywhere from Germany and Bosnia to South Korea and Uzbekistan. Their current album, Land That I Love, underlines a strong theme in Charlie's music. That's just one snapshot of his career, an apt description of a love affair with his country that he has repeatedly demonstrated through his music for over half-a-century.

He was welcomed into the Grand Ole Opry Hall of Fame in 2008, and the Nashville Musicians' Hall of Fame the following year. The Opry honor was announced while he was in the middle of pickin' and fiddlin' at his annual Christmas 4 Kids Benefit Concert at the Ryman Auditorium. Martina McBride walked on stage carrying a small gift box which contained the invitation.

But Charlie Daniels has brought a much larger basket of gifts to this country and to its fighting men and women. He deserves every honor that comes his way. Those of us who consider Charlie Daniels a friend are honored in that way.

Well, needless to say, you can now number your humble Dragonmaster amongst Charlie Daniels' many friends and followers. One hopes that his musical legacy, and his unceasing passion for that which makes America great, will be shared with millions more Mortals now and in the years to come. So you follow this foolish old beetlehead's advice, dearests, and spend what is left of this day at http://www.charliedaniels.com --- and I am certain you will come away from that website with a proper, meaningful understanding of what America really means!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Blackwolf Predicts: YouTube Buys U.S. Rights to Video Music Awards

2010-09-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

As we approach this Sunday night's MTV Video Music Awards, I find myself once more forced to address the issue of the event's relevancy, much less its presence on a channel that, for all intents and purposes, is no longer a music video channel in the truest sense of the phrase.

You have heard your Dragonmaster kvetch many times before as to what purpose the VMAs in their current form now serves. Despite my recent Press Release announcing that I was joining Lady Gaga's vast army of "little monsters," the sad truth remains: We have now reached a point whereby the Video Music Awards no longer serves its intended purpose; as an awards show, the statuette is an afterthough at best, an instrument of kitsch at worst.

Having said all that, after careful consideration and pondering, I have come to the conclusion that MTV no longer needs the VMAs. Indeed, I see the coming of a new corporate management at MTV --- one that answers directly to Viacom Chairman Sumner Redstone. Sooner or later, the decision WILL have to be made; and I predict that the decision will be thus:

In order to maintain its relevance, to say nothing of its continued existence, I see all U.S./North American rights to the name, property, franchise, and concept of the Video Music Awards being sold ---- to the one entity that, as of now, is the REAL music power in the Multiverse --- YouTube!

C'mon, guys --- doesn't it make sense that the Video Music Awards should belong with YouTube: an entity that, to date, has made more superstars out of more mere Mortals than MTV and American Idol combined! Were YouTube to assume control of the VMAs now, the franchise rights alone would make Google, YouTube's parent company, rich beyond estimation!

And the be-a-star factor would certainly help, say I! I doubt that there have been as many chances for average Joes and Janes to just make a video, post it on YouTube --- and suddenly --- Instant Superstardom!

Bringing the VMAs under YouTube's control would certainly benefit everybody; and certainly would make the party far more interesting.

As always, America, I wanna know what you think. E-mail me at electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf

9/11, 2010 --- The Weekend: Reflections from Blackwolf

2010-09-07T12:25:00.001-07:00

There is a very extreme difficulty for your Dragonmaster, as we approach Saturday, September 11th, 2010. With the coming of the sunset, at precisely 7:13 p.m., the Men of the Pipes and Drums of the New York City Fire Department Emerald Society will play a few blocks from Ground Zero, ending their procession at the Firehouse of Engine Company No. 10 and Ladder Company No. 10, where a Memorial Plaque has been affixed to the facility's wall, honoring the 343 New York City Firefighters who sacrificed their lives that dark, horrible day nine years anon.

September 11th, 2010 will not be without its controversies, alas. It has been brought to your Dragonmaster's attention that a radical evangelist in Gainesville, Florida, one Terry Jones by name, senior minister of the Dove World Outreach Center, intends to stage what he calls "International 'Burn the Qu'ran Day"; luckily --- and, I might add, wisely, General David Patraeus has warned him not to make the attempt, stating in an e-mail to the Associated Press that imagery from such an event could be used by radical extremists in Afghanistan --- and, for that matter, the world --- to incite incidents of extreme violence. The potential result, doubtless, would be another cry for jihad, or holy war, against the U.S. and Israel and their allies.

Well, methinks you know what would happen ultimately: the Third World War, by Merlin's beard! Have you Mortals learned nothing from 9/11/2001? Or will there just be so much chaos that the human race will be forced to struggle to simply fight to survive?

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer --- the MGM of Dore Schary and his ilk --- once made a very sensible motion picture, probably one of the wisest ever to emerge from Culver City, California: The Next Voice You Hear, starring James Whitmore and Nancy Davis, now Nancy Reagan. Based upon the short story by George Sumner Albee, the film tells the story of "Joe Smith, American," and his family, as they react to the unprecedented radio debut of God Himself. You would be wise, my children, to locate this movie and look at it --- and then, remember what happened nine years ago this coming Saturday. It is a solemn celebration, one not to be taken lightly by any means. One thing's for certain: you'll certainly see this foolish old beetlehead of a Mage standing in front of the nearest flagpole in the vicinity of Central Park, hand over me heart, and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance with all the energy a Dragonmaster can muster:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

Long before WWOR-TV/HD ever became "the other Fox New York Station," it was WOR-TV --- and they always began their broadcast day, not just with the Pledge of Allegiance, but also with a rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner in a short Mormon-produced film with a soundtrack from (naturally) the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, concluding with a brief morning sermonette before diving into the early morning newsbrief. YouTube has, I believe, several postings of this; I recommend http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGxj2R6CZso, as well as http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSGVz5t1V_k

Master Blackwolf

Blackwolf Previews: The 45th Anniversary Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon

2010-09-02T10:40:00.001-07:00

Happy Labor Day, Mortals!

I won't mince words --- have I ever? --- so here be what you need to know concerning the 2010 Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon:

Jerry's three lovely co-hosts are Alison Sweeney from The Biggest Loser and Days of our Lives; Nancy O'Dell, formerly of Access Hollywood; and Jann Carl, formerly of Entertainment Tonight. They'll be joined by "special guest hosts" Nigel Lythcoe, executive producer of American Idol; actor-comedian Richard Belzer; Grammy Award-nominated Broadway veteran Ace Young; General Hospital regular Brandon Barash; and comedian John Pennette. Their guests will be more than 65 local, national, and international performers, along with several families served by MDA. For the fifth straight year, homebase will be Las Vegas' incredible South Point Hotel-Casino-Spa.

WWOR-TV/DT/HD will once more join the over 170 broadcast stations and cable programmers comprising the 45th Anniversary "Love Network." Russ Salzberg and Brenda Blackmon, representing the My9 News team, will host the New York/New Jersey portions, airing live from 9 Broadcast Plaza in downtown Secaucus.

They have not, unfortunately, revealed the special guest co-host for the New York portions, but I expect that they'll take care of that by Friday, if not sooner.

By the way, and while I have you here, let me address my next thoughts to the Macy*s people and the gang at Brad Lachman Productions:

I sense what you're thinking, Brad. You, too, Robin Hall. You want it in plain English, then? Very well:

I don't want Justin Bieber at this year's Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade. There, I said it. It's enough that he did Macy*s 4th of July Fireworks; I'm already annoyed by American Idol's all-too-lackluster ninth season, and have already declared the Age of Idol to be over. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some food-shopping to do; and then I must rescue myself from a potential migraine. Chow 4 now!

Blackwolf Grumbles About Vacations and Other Significant Reasons for Being Incredibly Silly on an Otherwise Sticky Day

2010-08-31T07:44:00.001-07:00

Thank you, dear Devil, for that charming commentary on the heat.

Well, looks like this ol' Dragonmaster better re-assume control of this here Diary of Magecraft. And so I shall. It's all I can do for now. For one thing, Quite an Imagination, the delicious documentary wherein me Wizardly personage stars, is not in production for a while. Stephen Steinberg, our Director, is, alas, on vacation in Florida, where his father lives. Doubtless he wants his daughters to meet the rest of Dad's family and stuff.

Where, then, does this leave yours truly?

Well, based on what you've read in the previous entry, bored, overheated and rather stinky. Merlin, I suppose, battled 90-degree temperatures many times during his own adventures; like me, however, he firmly believed in the ancient commercial's warning: "Never let 'em see you sweat." I, meanwhile, being New York's Unofficial Wizard, subscribe to a philosophy whereby most of my fellow Manhattanites sweat for a reason: You're only as good as the next dribble that trickles down the side of your face.

Many of my readers may find that conclusion icky. I doubt that you've brains enough to sense otherwise. When you're told that you smell, you're bound to react accordingly; New Yorkers will always find newer, stranger ways to stink. To you, then, dearest fellow future skunks-in-the-making, I would like to salute you at this juncture. When this week ends, hopefully, we'll not be as stinky or, I hope, as silly, as one might suspect.

More to come as soon as I can restore meself to proper sanity.

Master Blackwolf

Today's Guest Blogger: The Devil!

2010-08-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Mortals! Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, a/k/a the Devil here! Callooh! Calleigh!

King Neptune gave you New Yorkers a water wedgie a few weeks ago --- now, it's MY turn! And you're gonna sweat all week long, and you're gonna like it!

This is what makes being the Devil so fabulous: I get to gloat about how hot it is while the rest of you folks struggle to seek out the nearest air conditioner you can bother to sit under! From my famous, custom-upholstered Throne O' Doom, I determine the nastiest stuff on the Planet. And boy, have things been nasty to date, my friends! I won't bother describing the particulars; let others handle that. Suffice it to say, this heatwave is sure making me a happy camper, I'll tell ya that right now.

90-degree temperatures are going to be in your future all this week, kiddos. Get used to them. If I know ol' Heat Miser, I suspect that right now, he's havin' quite the party! (Heh-heh-heh!) Oh yeah, one other thing: don't bother worrying about taking a shower. When I'm through inflicting this heatwave on you, New Yorkers, well .... let's just say Pepe LePew will have nothing compared to the stinkiness that is bound to come your way, say I!

Well, there's only one more thing to do, then: watch you icky-poo Mortals tremble with the usual mixture of fear and awe whilst I, the mighty Devil, laugh my nasssssssty laugh!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Today's Guest Blogger: His Oceanic Majesty, King Neptune!

2010-08-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Surface-dwellers! King Neptune here --- and believe me, I have had major fun this week. Why? Because it's been raining in New York City. And when it comes to rainy days, New Yorkers are, as one might expect, gluttons for punishment! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

But anyway, after what you Humans did to my ocean --- oh yes, BP: make no mistake, you're so going down! --- maybe you deserve the water wedgie I've been giving the Big Apple! (Now you know why I like to guest-blog here in Blackwolf's Diary of Magecraft --- for those of you Mortals not particularly in the know, it's a gloating kinda thing. Sometimes, when I'm not enjoying my life as Monarch of the Deep Blue Sea, I enjoy gloating. A lot.)

But I will say this for the Mortals of Manhattan: When they're nice enough, they'll even let me sing a power ballad or two! You don't believe me? I'd ask Mark Mercante if I were you! This year's annual outdoor theatre production from Crystal Field's Theater for the New City is called Gone Fission, or: Alternative Power, and there's one very short scene where Mark dresses up as me and leads all the fishes of the ocean in a strong-hearted power ballad called "We Are the People of the Sea." When I heard Mark sing, and saw how wonderful he looked wearing something resembling my threads, I was impressed. By the time the song ended, I had tears in my eyes!

Crystal Field and her friends aren't too bad --- for Surface-dwellers. They sing some pretty great songs that don't just tell stories. They make you learn something. They make me remember that somehow, in spite of everything, there's still hope yet for you Mortals. Just don't dirty up my oceans again --- or prepare yourselves to be poked with my trusty trident! Capice?

Till next time, Surface-dwellers!

Yours etc.,

Neptunus Rex, King of the Oceans

Blackwolf Rants About a Telethon's Future, and Other TV Matters of Interest

2010-08-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

For the first time since numbering myself amongst its more loyal supporters, I have, frankly, begun to fear for the future of the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon. As it stands now, the Telethon is no longer the national experience that it once was. There was a time in days of old when we took the Telethon as seriously as we now do the Super Bowl or the World Series. Alas, we have a tendency now to take the Telethon for granted; from a 2010 standpoint, the show is only a Vegas shadow, clad in the trappings of a primetime television special. Physically, Jerry himself is no longer the comic genius Paramount Pictures was forever celebrating when he turned his energies toward a solo film career. More to the point, of the Telethon's cast of principal celebrities, many of them, Ed McMahon most notably, are either already deceased or are on the verge of dying.

And as far as the New York/New Jersey Metro Area portion of the Telethon is concerned, I begin to wonder how much more committed WWOR-TV is to the show. For all intents and purposes, My9, as they dare to call themselves these days, is pretty much "the other Fox New York station." So much so, in fact, that they have taken to running infomercials on Saturday mornings from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. Really, that is little more than an excuse to induce the viewer into a snoozefest the proportions of which your Dragonmaster dare not comprehend --- and believe me, children, I have been involved in my share of snoozefests!

The bottom line, dearests, is that Saturday morning doesn't live here anymore. There have been so many shows we once used to watch and enjoy that I seriously doubt if there's a real future for what entertainment really means. Mary Hart's recent announcement of her retirement from Entertainment Tonight at the end of the show's 30th Anniversary Season reminds me that our industry and those who allegedly are supposed to be "in the know" about it are fast becoming (gulp!) dinosaurs. And even dear Variety and The Hollywood Reporter are becoming so wafer-thin we can't locate any serious news anymore.

Now, your Dragonmaster and others like me have to blog and/or tweet --- or, sometimes, scramble about the whole of New York City --- just to pursue the latest entertainment news. That I'm kvetching about all this for you should express to you my feelings about what television's future truly is: It is, like so much else in show business, a constant quest for power. I'm just lucky that I am, at best, still able to hold on to hope....

As always, America, I wanna hear what you think. Gimme an e-mail at either blackbeardian@yahoo.com or electric_pirates@hotmail.com .

Master Blackwolf