Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2007: 72 Hours to Go......
Angst-ridden, over-obsessed celebrities. Incredibly tacky musical numbers. Would-be icons of the late 21st Century. Dance performances you would be embarrassed to show even your parents. Ah yes, my dears, only one global event has been accused of inflicting all of these, and so much more, upon the television audience --- the Academy Awards! And now, with a little less than 72 hours or so to go before your humble Dragonmaster must surrender to the full power of Oscar, I just thought I should a few wierd, bizarre things about what to expect this Sunday night:
First of all, you can count on ABC7/Los Angeles screwing up their half-hour arrivals show, produced for the ABC Owned Television Stations. Roger Ebert will, I strongly suspect ---- and you can quote me here, Mortals --- take up far too much of the alloted 30 minutes with the interview segments! Blarst! Not that it matters, dear KABCers, but I really think you need to let a real Eyewitness News team --- that would be ours --- show you sillies how it's done! WABC would, I can guarantee, kick its sister affiliate's butt were it offered the chance to produce the red carpet arrivals for Sunday night's party!
Then, of course, there's the Academy-sanctioned half-hour arrivals show. Please, I beg you, Laura Ziskin --- I'm happy you're producing this year's telecast --- but please, no more Billy Bush! The more you guys filch him from Access Hollywood, the more I want to grumble badly. I mean, 'tis bad enough I have to be a damn human antenna just to watch the show AND take my findings down on paper so that I'll be ready to post them as Part One of my epic five-part Blackwolf @ the Oscars chronicle! Believe me, Mortals, I shall not be a very happy camper by the time we wrap this up around --- oh, I dunno, say: 12:45 am Eastern time, or thereabouts. All I can say, dearies, is: Pray, stay ye tun'd!
Master Blackwolf
First of all, you can count on ABC7/Los Angeles screwing up their half-hour arrivals show, produced for the ABC Owned Television Stations. Roger Ebert will, I strongly suspect ---- and you can quote me here, Mortals --- take up far too much of the alloted 30 minutes with the interview segments! Blarst! Not that it matters, dear KABCers, but I really think you need to let a real Eyewitness News team --- that would be ours --- show you sillies how it's done! WABC would, I can guarantee, kick its sister affiliate's butt were it offered the chance to produce the red carpet arrivals for Sunday night's party!
Then, of course, there's the Academy-sanctioned half-hour arrivals show. Please, I beg you, Laura Ziskin --- I'm happy you're producing this year's telecast --- but please, no more Billy Bush! The more you guys filch him from Access Hollywood, the more I want to grumble badly. I mean, 'tis bad enough I have to be a damn human antenna just to watch the show AND take my findings down on paper so that I'll be ready to post them as Part One of my epic five-part Blackwolf @ the Oscars chronicle! Believe me, Mortals, I shall not be a very happy camper by the time we wrap this up around --- oh, I dunno, say: 12:45 am Eastern time, or thereabouts. All I can say, dearies, is: Pray, stay ye tun'd!
Master Blackwolf
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