Blackwolf @ the Oscars, Part Three
Continuing hither in my Diary of Magecraft, we resume herewith this epic chronicle of your humble Dragonmaster's observations of the 77th Annual Academy Awards!
The festivities continued with a salute to Johnny Carson's years as host of the show, with observations by Whoopi Goldberg; following this, Leonardo DiCaprio took to the Kodak Theatre stage to intro the Best Documentary Feature segment, ultimately presenting the award to the team of Zana Briski and Ross Kaufman, for their haunting chronicle of harsh street life in the Subcontinent, Born into Brothels: Calcutta's Red Light Kids. "Little, gold men," quipped Zana --- "just what we always wanted. We thank you so much. We thank the kids, they're watching in Calcutta, we love you very much....." Ross, meanwhile, thanked HBO --- "the best place on the Planet for documentaries!" Indeed! Come on, goodlies, ye knows the theme song: HBO, you know I want you.........
Next up were Kiersten Dunst and Orlando Bloom (aye, the world's favorite elf, Will Ferrell notwithstanding). They did Film Editing, presenting the award to Scorsese's editng wench, Thelma Schoonmaker. Her remarks: "This is really as much yours as it is mine, Marty, not only because you helped me edit the film, but because you think like an editor when you shoot; and you gave us an equally dazzling ride on this film ...... There's so many people to thank --- the mixers, the visual effect people, particularly my assistants, Scott Brock, Tom Foligno and Erin Crackel. They really got it all up there on the screen ---- but it's really you, Marty."
Oh? Well, riddle me this, dear Thelma: if it really IS Marty, why, I ask ye, is he consistently Oscar Night's biggest loser? Ah, but I digress. And onward we go.
Hey, Shrek's back! The voice of America's favorite ogre (who, by the way, singlehandedly killed traditionally hand-drawn, two-dimensional animation) --- that would be Mike Myers --- arrived on stage to introduce the band Counting Crows, who would perform the next Original Song nominee, Accidentally in Love, from Shrek 2. Unfortunately, the performance --- at least, for my tastes, anyway! --- resembled too much of an episode of the much lamented Don Kirschner's Rock Concert. Louis J. Horvitz, you're a wonderful director, but I don't think you have a good eye for directing rock music TV shows!
The next segment, that of Screenplay Adaptation, was supposed to have been intro'd by Adam Sandler (he who of old asked your Dragonmaster for his autograph!) and Catherine Zeta-Jones. When it became apparent that Mrs. Douglas was a no-show, Chris Rock decided to step in and sort of save the day, joining Adam in a rather bizarre reading, straight from the teleprompter. One of those really weird moments that only a live TV show can bring you. Anyway, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor were given the darn thing for having scribbled Sideways. "We've been lucky enough to have been writing partners for 15 years," said Jim. Alex wrapped it up with: "We love Fox Searchlight for letting us make a film with complete creative freedom... [so] I wanna share my side of this award with the cast and crew of the film, because we had a lotta fun. See ya later."
Charged with the task of hosting the Visual Effects segment were Jake Gylenhaal and Ziyi Zhang, who very shortly summoned to the mic the quartet of John Dykstra, Scott Stokdyk, John Frazier and Tony LaMolinara, who dared us to fall into the web of Spider-Man 2. "Boy, am I glad there wasn't a fourth episode of Lord of the Rings!" laughed Dysktra. (Note to self: STAR WARS EPISODE IV BE DAMNED --- GET JOHN DYKSTRA!)
The late Jerry Goldsmith's Fanfare for Oscar then kicked in, meaning that the President of the Academy, director Frank Pierson, was about to talk next (either boring others or interesting some). Still, Pierson was there to bring on Al Pacino, who in his turn, presented a special Oscar for distinguished career achievement to one of our best living directors, Sidney Lumet. I loved his acknowledgement to the movies. "I know that sounds general," he explained, "but it's very real to me. I got the best job in the best profession in the world; so I just wanna thank all of it ---and, of course, those who've paid more dues than I have. See you later."
You're welcome, dear Sidney. (By the way, all is forgiven as far as The Wiz is concerned.) Centerpiece of the next set of spots was Scorsese's Love Letter to a City, presented by American Express. Yeah, just the ticket: NYC according to DeNiro. When you speak of the great DeNiro, respect is essential. Besides, your Dragonmaster --- and for that matter, the Dark Chambers website overall --- might one day be involved in DeNiro's now-legendary Tribeca Film Festival!
The festivities continued with a salute to Johnny Carson's years as host of the show, with observations by Whoopi Goldberg; following this, Leonardo DiCaprio took to the Kodak Theatre stage to intro the Best Documentary Feature segment, ultimately presenting the award to the team of Zana Briski and Ross Kaufman, for their haunting chronicle of harsh street life in the Subcontinent, Born into Brothels: Calcutta's Red Light Kids. "Little, gold men," quipped Zana --- "just what we always wanted. We thank you so much. We thank the kids, they're watching in Calcutta, we love you very much....." Ross, meanwhile, thanked HBO --- "the best place on the Planet for documentaries!" Indeed! Come on, goodlies, ye knows the theme song: HBO, you know I want you.........
Next up were Kiersten Dunst and Orlando Bloom (aye, the world's favorite elf, Will Ferrell notwithstanding). They did Film Editing, presenting the award to Scorsese's editng wench, Thelma Schoonmaker. Her remarks: "This is really as much yours as it is mine, Marty, not only because you helped me edit the film, but because you think like an editor when you shoot; and you gave us an equally dazzling ride on this film ...... There's so many people to thank --- the mixers, the visual effect people, particularly my assistants, Scott Brock, Tom Foligno and Erin Crackel. They really got it all up there on the screen ---- but it's really you, Marty."
Oh? Well, riddle me this, dear Thelma: if it really IS Marty, why, I ask ye, is he consistently Oscar Night's biggest loser? Ah, but I digress. And onward we go.
Hey, Shrek's back! The voice of America's favorite ogre (who, by the way, singlehandedly killed traditionally hand-drawn, two-dimensional animation) --- that would be Mike Myers --- arrived on stage to introduce the band Counting Crows, who would perform the next Original Song nominee, Accidentally in Love, from Shrek 2. Unfortunately, the performance --- at least, for my tastes, anyway! --- resembled too much of an episode of the much lamented Don Kirschner's Rock Concert. Louis J. Horvitz, you're a wonderful director, but I don't think you have a good eye for directing rock music TV shows!
The next segment, that of Screenplay Adaptation, was supposed to have been intro'd by Adam Sandler (he who of old asked your Dragonmaster for his autograph!) and Catherine Zeta-Jones. When it became apparent that Mrs. Douglas was a no-show, Chris Rock decided to step in and sort of save the day, joining Adam in a rather bizarre reading, straight from the teleprompter. One of those really weird moments that only a live TV show can bring you. Anyway, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor were given the darn thing for having scribbled Sideways. "We've been lucky enough to have been writing partners for 15 years," said Jim. Alex wrapped it up with: "We love Fox Searchlight for letting us make a film with complete creative freedom... [so] I wanna share my side of this award with the cast and crew of the film, because we had a lotta fun. See ya later."
Charged with the task of hosting the Visual Effects segment were Jake Gylenhaal and Ziyi Zhang, who very shortly summoned to the mic the quartet of John Dykstra, Scott Stokdyk, John Frazier and Tony LaMolinara, who dared us to fall into the web of Spider-Man 2. "Boy, am I glad there wasn't a fourth episode of Lord of the Rings!" laughed Dysktra. (Note to self: STAR WARS EPISODE IV BE DAMNED --- GET JOHN DYKSTRA!)
The late Jerry Goldsmith's Fanfare for Oscar then kicked in, meaning that the President of the Academy, director Frank Pierson, was about to talk next (either boring others or interesting some). Still, Pierson was there to bring on Al Pacino, who in his turn, presented a special Oscar for distinguished career achievement to one of our best living directors, Sidney Lumet. I loved his acknowledgement to the movies. "I know that sounds general," he explained, "but it's very real to me. I got the best job in the best profession in the world; so I just wanna thank all of it ---and, of course, those who've paid more dues than I have. See you later."
You're welcome, dear Sidney. (By the way, all is forgiven as far as The Wiz is concerned.) Centerpiece of the next set of spots was Scorsese's Love Letter to a City, presented by American Express. Yeah, just the ticket: NYC according to DeNiro. When you speak of the great DeNiro, respect is essential. Besides, your Dragonmaster --- and for that matter, the Dark Chambers website overall --- might one day be involved in DeNiro's now-legendary Tribeca Film Festival!
posted by Master Blackwolf | 6:04 AM
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