Last Action Potter Rant!
They're calling the next two nights at Radio City Music Hall An Evening with Harry, Carrie and Garp. Frankly, they need not have done so.
As far as your Dragonmaster is concerned, Stephen King is a jerk, and the jury is still out on John Irving. That leaves, of course, the Lady Rowling. Let this be, therefore, Blackwolf's Potter Rant!
I've said it afore, I'll say it anon, goodly gentles: Jo, the fans are fed up. I'll admit I sure as hell certainly am! Putting it bluntly, Milady: no more excuses, Ms. Rowling, no more threats! The fans have given up being patient with you. They want their answers now! Will Harry die in Book Seven? Have you an official title for the book, if and when it comes out? We are no longer going to wait it out for you, my dear, and there are plenty of reasons why.
First and foremost, Warners has a lot riding on the next Potter movie, Order of the Phoenix. The minute it achieves blockbuster status, the call will immediately go out to David Heyman --- put Half-Blood Prince into pre-production immediately, then get the process ready to film it! And you, Jo, of all people, know this to be true!
Secondly, Scholastic and Bloomsbury have executives who will put their promotions, ballyhoo and whatnot together for your book, Jo. I'm sure you realize that careers are on the line unless you come up with the answers the fans want!
Lastly, a few really important things to understand about Harry Potter: What you have crafted has, in the end, transformed from a simple children's story into an epic tragic allegory on the fall of human innocence in a world of Magecraft gone insane! Constant clue-hunting and cryptic translations no longer matter, can't you see? The fans are tired of solving their mysteries based on how YOU, Jo, would wish them to be solved. As Labyrinth's Goblin King Jareth, portrayed by David Bowie, lamented to Sarah (Jennifer Connelly): "I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that being generous?"
Thus, Jo, we, your fans, are exhausted from living up to your expectations. For the greater good of ALL our sanities, REVEAL YOUR ANSWERS NOW!!!!
As always, America, I wanna know what you think. Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.
Master Blackwolf
As far as your Dragonmaster is concerned, Stephen King is a jerk, and the jury is still out on John Irving. That leaves, of course, the Lady Rowling. Let this be, therefore, Blackwolf's Potter Rant!
I've said it afore, I'll say it anon, goodly gentles: Jo, the fans are fed up. I'll admit I sure as hell certainly am! Putting it bluntly, Milady: no more excuses, Ms. Rowling, no more threats! The fans have given up being patient with you. They want their answers now! Will Harry die in Book Seven? Have you an official title for the book, if and when it comes out? We are no longer going to wait it out for you, my dear, and there are plenty of reasons why.
First and foremost, Warners has a lot riding on the next Potter movie, Order of the Phoenix. The minute it achieves blockbuster status, the call will immediately go out to David Heyman --- put Half-Blood Prince into pre-production immediately, then get the process ready to film it! And you, Jo, of all people, know this to be true!
Secondly, Scholastic and Bloomsbury have executives who will put their promotions, ballyhoo and whatnot together for your book, Jo. I'm sure you realize that careers are on the line unless you come up with the answers the fans want!
Lastly, a few really important things to understand about Harry Potter: What you have crafted has, in the end, transformed from a simple children's story into an epic tragic allegory on the fall of human innocence in a world of Magecraft gone insane! Constant clue-hunting and cryptic translations no longer matter, can't you see? The fans are tired of solving their mysteries based on how YOU, Jo, would wish them to be solved. As Labyrinth's Goblin King Jareth, portrayed by David Bowie, lamented to Sarah (Jennifer Connelly): "I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that being generous?"
Thus, Jo, we, your fans, are exhausted from living up to your expectations. For the greater good of ALL our sanities, REVEAL YOUR ANSWERS NOW!!!!
As always, America, I wanna know what you think. Gimme an e-mail at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.
Master Blackwolf
posted by Master Blackwolf | 6:36 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home