Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

My Photo
Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Nanz Kant Danz! Why Your Dragonmaster is Mad @ CBS Sports

As Blackbeard, the Most Dangerous Pirate on Earth --- not to mention spokespirate and rasion d'ertre for your Dragonmaster's parent company, Electric Pirates Entertainment --- grumbled here in the ol' Diary of Magecraft recently, he has a particular problem with the twits over at CBS Sports. If you'll recall, it all began the year the Super Bowl came to Tampa, Florida's Raymond James Stadium. The folks responsible for Tampa's traditional Buccaneer bacchanalia, the Gasparilla PirateFest and Extravaganza, would for the first time ever, have a shot at exposure on national television. Wonderful! I thought at the time, for here was a chance to say to the world in general that Pirates were here, Pirates were happening, and, not to put too fine a point upon it, Pirates were cool!

But alas! Not a trace of the Gasparillans was to be found, save for one commercial bumper in the 6-hour pre-game programming block. Indeed, only those who attended the actual pre-game festivities witnessed what transpired. Dale Groff tells the tale, which you can find in the Online Archives of No Quarter Given Magazine. The fools at CBS Sports had their #1 football voice, Jim Nantz, interview President George H. W. Bush, rather than spend some quality time with the members of Ye Mystick Krewe of Gasparilla! The imbeciles!

Well, sadly, the Super Bowl is back in Florida --- only this time, it's in Miami's Dolphin Stadium --- and CBS Sports is covering it, with Jim Nantz leading the charge! Even worse, CBS Sports 2007 is home not only to Super Bowl XLI, but also its usual annoying springtime twosome --- the Final Four (that, for you unenlightned ones, would be the NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship Tournament) and the Masters Golf Championship! And yes, Jim Nantz will lend his bloomin' voice to them as well! Aargh!

Like Captain Teach, your Dragonmaster will never forgive CBS Sports for the harsh treatment they gave the Gasparillans. Blackbeard and I, as one might expect, have long memories. Speaking of which, let's not forget the last immediate time that CBS Sports did the Super Bowl. If I recall correctly, it had something to do with a "wardrobe malfunction" incident some of you Mortals might have heard about a few years agone, eh what?

So while I have to say cheers to the gangs at Don Mischer Productions and Rick Kirschner's White Cherry Entertainment, who will be teaming up not only for the halftime party starring Prince, but also the pre-game festival from Cirque du Soleil, the basic truth remains that I won't put up with CBS Sports doing the Super Bowl. A Mage, you see, does have his priorities, you know!

(By the way, a short word regarding the title of this morning's post: You'll recall John Fogerty's ballad that went, "Vanz kant danz, but he steal your money/Watch him gonna rob you blind...." Fogerty was, at the time, pissed off at his then-boss, Oscar-winning producer Saul Zaentz, for denying him certain monies while he was leading his legendary band, Creedence Clearwater Revival. But that's a tale best saved for another day.)

As ever, America, I wanna know what you think. Gimme an e-mail at either or

Master Blackwolf


Post a Comment

<< Home