Today's Guest Blogger: His Oceanic Majesty, King Neptune!

Greetings, Surface-dwellers! King Neptune here --- and believe me, I have had major fun this week. Why? Because it's been raining in New York City. And when it comes to rainy days, New Yorkers are, as one might expect, gluttons for punishment! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

But anyway, after what you Humans did to my ocean --- oh yes, BP: make no mistake, you're so going down! --- maybe you deserve the water wedgie I've been giving the Big Apple! (Now you know why I like to guest-blog here in Blackwolf's Diary of Magecraft --- for those of you Mortals not particularly in the know, it's a gloating kinda thing. Sometimes, when I'm not enjoying my life as Monarch of the Deep Blue Sea, I enjoy gloating. A lot.)

But I will say this for the Mortals of Manhattan: When they're nice enough, they'll even let me sing a power ballad or two! You don't believe me? I'd ask Mark Mercante if I were you! This year's annual outdoor theatre production from Crystal Field's Theater for the New City is called Gone Fission, or: Alternative Power, and there's one very short scene where Mark dresses up as me and leads all the fishes of the ocean in a strong-hearted power ballad called "We Are the People of the Sea." When I heard Mark sing, and saw how wonderful he looked wearing something resembling my threads, I was impressed. By the time the song ended, I had tears in my eyes!

Crystal Field and her friends aren't too bad --- for Surface-dwellers. They sing some pretty great songs that don't just tell stories. They make you learn something. They make me remember that somehow, in spite of everything, there's still hope yet for you Mortals. Just don't dirty up my oceans again --- or prepare yourselves to be poked with my trusty trident! Capice?

Till next time, Surface-dwellers!

Yours etc.,

Neptunus Rex, King of the Oceans