And now, a pre-Talk Like a Pirate Day message from Blackbeard:
I be really disappointed in ye, New York! Fer 26 accursed an' dusty years, I bin Corporate Mascot an' Principal Spokespirate fer Electric Pirates Entertainment; and in all that time, I ain't seen one scurvy man Jack er Jane o' ye within the length and breadth o' th' Five Boroughs toot horn number one in the name o' Hinternational Talk Like a Pirate Day! Aaarrgh! Y'know, Disney and Mr. Bruckheimer --- not to mention, dear, sweet Ian McShane, wonderful Miss Penny Rose, and all the blarsted scum at Hindustrial Light n' Magic --- alla 'em went out o' their way to make me look so good fer Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, me first major studio movie appearance in more'n 50 years .... and what do you Mortal movie critics do?
Ya dis me first great shot at restorin' me proper Pirate glory, the 15th time in Disney history that the black banner o' th' Jolly Roger has bin 'oisted o'er th' airspace o' 500 South Buena Vista Street in Burbank, Callyforny! How dare ye! Aaarrrgh! Well, I can take a little comfort in that Mr. McShane has shot some hintroductory footage portrayin' me Piratical personage fer th' various versions o' Pirates of the Caribbean at th' Disney Parks, warnin' ye lubbers about how ye should beware o' what ye'll hexperience thither!
Well, inasmuch as I be Blackbeard, I be lettin' ya know now: I ain't standin' fer it, ya blarsted jackanapes! If them Disney Parks folks 'ave their way, which they will, I'll be joinin' Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones as the three Pirates characters the fans'll be wantin' ta take pictures with!
Now c'mon, New York! Get off yer scurvy 'igh horse an' 'oist yer knickers to the nearest waterin' hole what be havin' the chutzpah to properly cellybrate Talk Like a Pirate Day --- er else! ('Nuff said.)
CAPTAIN ED'ARD ("BLACKBEARD") TEACH
Corporate Mascot/Principal Spokespirate
Electric Pirates Entertainment, Inc./EPE Holdings, Inc.
New York City, USA