Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard
King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge here, greetin' all you Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes from my way fabulous Throne Room, where I get to chill, hang out and enjoy the simple pleasures that go with being King of the Dwarves of Ironforge! Hey, my man Mel Brooks said it best for all us Royal People: "It's good ta be da King!" It's also good when your Kingdom happens to be none other than beautiful, downtown Irvine, California --- and you get to put up a sign reading (and the higher-ups at HQ are deadly serious about this) "TRESPASSERS WILL BE EATEN!"
But enough crapola for now, kids, becuz it's time for me to boast about BlizzCon 4! It's our fourth annual takeover of the Anaheim, California Convention Center, and the parent company's chance to thank you, our loyal fans throughout the planet, for keepin' us the #1 multiplayer gaming company of all time!!! How do we do it? you ask. Well, we start with panel discussions --- and this year, we're gonna have tons of 'em, from a look at the creative process that goes into developing our all-new Diablo III: Sanctuary, the brand-new StarCraft II, and more World of WarCraft stuff than you Humanoids can handle!
You want Tournaments with that? We got your back --- the global finals for the WarCraft III and World of WarCraft Arena Tournaments are gonna be a major highlight, with players from all over the Planet kickin' butt for a share at $25,000 and change, dudes! We also got the BlizzCon/StarCraft Invitational, where all the top contenders challenge the wannabes for braggin' rights, boastin' privileges, etc.
You'll also see fans like you sporting the coolest, most excellent costumes around, not to mention our first-ever BlizzCon Original Song Contest. Here's the deal: we want some original music and lyrics about why you love World of WarCraft and anything else Blizzard. Our Original Movie Contest is on the prowl for some way happening footage about life in Azeroth, using game footage from the World.
In addition, we're bringin' back our Sound-alike Contest, where we get to listen to you try to imitiate the actual voice of your fave Blizzard character! Cool!
Oh yeah: did we mention that we're letting DirecTV in on all the fun again? We're talkin' over 16 straight hours of totally live, hi-def coverage, interviews, commentaries, the Opening Ceremony and other Main Stage events, tournament coverage, team highlights --- and not only that, this year, we're streamin' everything via the web, so even if you don't get DirecTV, you can still check us out and see for yourselves what's goin' on! Excellent!
So if you don't feel like doing anything on Friday and Saturday, August 21st and
22nd, c'mon and hang out with us at BlizzCon 4! We'd sure love havin' ya fer lunch and dinner, know what I mean?
OK, I'm gonna follow Master Blackwolf's lead here and ask you kids to groove to Night @ the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian! Just when it seemed that my man Larry Daley had stuff under control, what happens? The Tablet of Akmenrah gets messed around with again --- and only Larry can save us from the really weird stuff! You gotta see this one, gang! I've had my first look --- and believe me, Shawn Levy knows how to handle magic when he can! Shawn --- you the man, dude!
Well, that's it for now, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes! Happy Memorial Day Weekend, and we look forward to eatin' --- I mean, meetin' ya at the Center in August!