Blackbeard on: America's Most Wanted

Ahoy, bilge rats! Blackbeard the Pirate here. Now shut up n' lissen:

Now be the time fer us Bad Guys to mumble our three favorite words: "Curses! Foiled again!" And why, ye'll be askin' yerselves wi' some impatience, be this? I'll tell you why: There be a good chance that there won't be anyone, Pirate or otherwise, left to arrest now that America's Most Wanted is soon t' cellybrate its 1000th Episode!

And even afore they made it to a thousand episodes, those landlubbers have placed 1100-plus fugitives in ye brig, an' countin'! Seems t' me, mateys, that these folks won't be 'appy 'less they've got someone in bloomin' 'andcuffs! Well, this be what happens when ye don't mess about wi' a winnin' formula. Fox tried t' keelhaul this show once afore, but an outcry some of this 'ere nation's law-enforcement swabs made 'em think again; and see ye now what has resulted!

Well, I'd best git me scurvy self goin'. That loony Wizard be ready to reach 500 post in this 'ere blog, an' I'll be more'n happy to be in on th' party! Arrrr!