Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

My Photo
Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Today's Guest Bloggers: Bilbo, Gandalf and Thorin!

BILBO: Greetings, Rankin/Bass fans! "I am Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I've lost my Dwarves, my Wizard, and my way."

THORIN: In your dreams, Burglar! "I am Thorin, grandson of King under the Mountain!" Of course, Gandalf needs no introduction, do you?

GANDALF: Certainly not! Anyway, 32 delightful years have passed since Arthur Rankin, Jr. and Jules Bass asked us to share our adventure with you Good People out there; needless to say, we once again thank you for your trust and loyalty since then. But enough of that for now. Let's tell our fans why we're guest-blogging today in Blackwolf's Diary of Magecraft!

THORIN: Well, let's face it: we've adventured so much over the years, the way we figured it, the three of us decided that our respective blades were needing a well-earned break! I mean --- hey, it's not easy kicking butt when you're the three most popular heroes in Middle-earth. Besides, Peter Jackson's moved on to bigger and better things now, and frankly, we're pretty much bored! And you'd be bored, too, if you had to wait around for people to get off their butts long enough to worry about us getting back on the big screen! So while we wait for Guillermo del Toro to start writing something resembling a screenplay, the Burglar, Gandalf and I have decided to form our own rock band!

GANDALF: Indeed! We're calling our band The Grey Havens, for the obvious reasons.

BILBO: Indeed! Adventures these days don't just make you late for dinner --- they either make you superstars or living legends --- or, in our case, heroes. And frankly, even heroes get bored sometimes. So the three of us decided, what the hell, we got better things to do now that Aragorn is keeping the peace for us. So when Thorin and Gandalf came to the ol' hobbit-hole recently, we decided we were too old to just bore ourselves to death!

GANDALF: An astute judgment, Burglar!

THORIN: No argument there, Wizard. But our distinguished Mr. Baggins is quite correct --- to you folks out there, we're Middle-earth's version of the Three Musketeers. As far as we ourselves are concerned, we're just three crotchety old farts --- who, ironically, were concieved by a crotchety old fart! And the way we figured: even crotchety old farts can rock n' roll when they damn well wanna. Hence, the forming of our band.

GANDALF: We may decide to go on tour. We haven't yet picked out an itinerary. When we do, though, we'll let you all know.

BILBO: Aye! So, gentlemen, shall we get started kickin' butt in a whole new way, then?

THORIN: You have, as ever, taken the words from our mouths, Burglar.

GANDALF: Agreed! Let's go do some rock-n'-rollin' that will certainly shake up the Forest of Mirkwood like they wouldn't believe!


Post a Comment

<< Home