Today's Guest Blogger: Blackbeard the Pirate!
It has come to my attention that some of ye landlubbers have been usin' a series of huge phone kiosk advertisements posted all across New York City, featurin' a full-sized picther o' yours truly, in support o' the upcomin' National Geographic Channel movie about me Piratical person, Blackbeard: Terror @ Sea, as an excuse to call attention to the current crisis in the Middle East. I bin seein' little stickers saying "This is a picture of an Arab terrorist." Lemme just say this about that, mateys: You scurvy lot got it backwards, ye do! I'm a Pirate and a Swashbuckler, ye doofus dimwits! How dare ye be confusin' the two! Oh sure, in me seafarin' days, I struck terror into the hearts o' any swabs what dared ter lock horns wi' me and me ghastly crew! But one thing's fer sure: if'n ye idjits had bothered to read me bio a little bit more --- or at the very least watched the movie --- ye'd have noticed that I did a whole lot more than just give people an image to remember!
Still, I dunno: maybe the whole problem is, notice the beard right off, first thing ye starts thinkin' about is Osama bin Laden an' his dum-dums! Well, know ye this, ye Mortal scum: Strikin' terror I used ter, but an Arab I certainly ain't! 'Tis a Swashbuckler and a Pirate I be --- and the next such dog what confuses the two, 'tis plank time fer you, if'n ye catches me meaning! That, an' a good lesson from Jamaica Rose Barton an' her No Quarter Given crew! Ye'd do well ter be readin' that, sez I!
But hey, I hopes ya duz watch the movie. Maybe ye'll get the idea about ol' Blackbeard, if'n ye didn't afore. And on that note, I'm outta here. Fair winds and smooth sailin', Mortals! Or as them Star Wars Nerds be a sayin', "May ye Force be wi' ye!" (Ha-har!)