MTV's 25th Birthday (Little Brats!)
MTV is 25 years old tonight at precisely midnight. Unfortunately, MTV doesn't wanna care. Why?
Their viewers --- and, indeed, MTV itself --- seem to be of the idea that, at age 25, you tend to be --- well, old. Is that so? Well, let me just say this about that, goodly gentles: I may be over 4800 years old, but I prefer reaching important milestones like everyone else --- in which respect you can call ol' Blackwolf a damn dinosaur all you bloomin' well want!
Unfortunately, MTV doesn't wanna make a big deal out of their 25th Birthday. No on-air graphics. No 25th Anniversary Special. Nothing. Damn you, MTV!
And just moments ago, it was announced that Red Hot Chili Peppers and Shakira have gotten 7 nomiations each at this year's --- and I feel bloomin' redundant just uttering the name! --- MTV Video Music Awards! And to make the situation even worse, the show will once more be held at Radio City Music Hall here in Manhattan on August 31st; as you know, I have vowed never again to do the VMAs unless MTV publicly apologizes for their treatment of me during the Triumph/Eminem incident of several years ago. Remember, this is one Dragonmaster who does not forgive or forget when it comes to dealing with frowny-faced people!
Well, Video Music Awards or no VMAs, understand ye this: you are acting like a little brat on your 25th Anniversary, MTV --- and you know it! And this Dragonmaster doesn't take kindly to little brats who don't even bother to respect their own birthdays! At least, I like to have at least ONE taste of chocolate birthday cake on my own birthday! My point, kids, is this: Any media icon that fails to acknowledge its own historical significance deserves to have its head examined. Or, as Sydne Channing (Tammy Grimes) grumbled at Lulu Brecht (Marilyn Sokol) toward the close of Can't Stop the Music, Allan Carr's immortal epic about the Village People: "Whoever gets you, deserves you."
Have a rotten 25th Birthday, MTV! At least ONE person bothered to care!
As always, America, I wanna know what you think about this. Gimme an e-mail at either
firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.