Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

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Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Neptune Triumphs Again!

(The following exchange between your humble Dragonmaster and His Oceanic Majesty, King Neptune, ocurred last night, as it happened. Not one word has been omitted.)

NEPTUNE: Ah! There you are, Master Blackwolf! And so, here we are, four-for-four, as I had wished! Did I not say the other night that I would let your precious New York Yankees get away only once?
BLACKWOLF: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'know, Neptune, were I not to know any better, I would say you get a kick out of this.
N: Don't I always? Anywho, Wizard, you know what happens here. I gloat, you listen. Got it?
B: Oh, just get on with it and practically torture this ol' Wizard senseless, blarst it all!
N: Come, come, Blackwolf. I'm sure you are aware of what the perfect icing on this particular cake would be.
B: No! Don't you even dare suggest it! The Boston Red Sox winning the World Series would indeed be the ultimate humiliation; do you suppose I'm going to allow myself the priviliege of having to stomach that?!
N: Yes you are, and you WILL, Surface-dweller! Now start munching on that humble pie I loooove to make you munch on, Dragonmaster!
B: Oh all right. Let me simply say the blarsted words and get it over with: I, Blackwolf, Dragonmaster of the Grand High Istari, do herewith surrender the Earth's oceans, including all her resources and the creatures dwelling therein, unto His Oceanic Majesty, Neptunus Rex, King of all the Oceans! There, ya happy now?
N: I think so. One more thing you must do, Master Blackwolf.
B: Oh do I have to put up with this?
N: Yes you do. Now then --- who's your Daddy?
B: You are, O mighty King Neptune.
N: That's right! And who's going to make you remember this each and every October from henceforth?
B: Oh, you are, O mighty King Neptune.
N: Right again! And one last thing ---- are you enjoying yourself here, Wizard?
B: Frankly, from this perspective, no. And anyway, I barely care anything about New York sports at the end of the fourth quarter! I lose enough sleep as it is having to look for an expletive deleted marching band database!
(Neptune giggles.)
N: Ha ha! Well, I think that was an easy evening's worth of me being in thy Wizardly face, Dragonmaster. Same time next October, then?
B: Consider yourself lucky I don't do Necromancy, Neptune --- because then, I'd burn that damn throne of yours before you could blink!
N: Uh, newsflash, Wizard: We're underwater, remember? (Heh-heh!)
B: There'll be another day, Neptunus Rex! So swears Master Blackwolf!

(Well, folks, sorry I had make meself have to transcribe that little exchange. Clearly it was a bit thoroughly silly, but I hope it served its purpose. As for you Mortals, know this: Never make a bet with the King of the Oceans. I know not why, but he ALWAYS wins!)