Blackwolf figures stuff out fer the fans!

Well, kiddos, looks like it's official: Eddie Murphy shall indeed host the 84th Annual Academy Awards! Ah yes, Donkey's fans will, I imagine, have a party within the next few months, I shouldn't wonder. Don Mischer will again executive produce and direct the telecast next February; joining him will be filmmaker Brett Ratner, who has cast Eddie in his new thriller-comedy Tower Heist, which I think will be due later in in 2012.

One may expect the usual suspects to join Don behind the scenes: Bruce Vilanch, head writer; Roy Christopher, production designer; Bob Dickinson, lighting designer; Ret Turner and Pete Menefee, principal costume designers; Douglass M. Stewart, Jr., head of film package segments; Danette Herman, coordinating producer --- believe me, dearests, you need but visit Variety.com and THR.com that ye might get the full gist of what shall transpire at the Kodak Theatre next.

Meanwhile, I have found meself in the power of the mighty force that is Vegan Black Metal Chef. Not since Biker Billy Cooks with Fire has one man so taken the power of cooking and made it so incredibly cool! By Merlin's beard, the weirdness has indeed taken its toll!

As for your humble Dragonmaster, I shall be doing my usual rounds for the balance of September before preparing for my two big October gigs, the 27th Annual Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon Park, wherein Sir Aragorn, my Dragon companion, will join me and the King and Queen of Jerusalem as the new Royal Court; and then, of course, the 39th Annual Greenwich Village Halloween Parade. Once more, PIX/11 and NY1 will be sharing joint telecast coverage; 11's news team begins their coverage at 7 p.m. and extends into the PIX/11 News @ 10; whereas NY1 once again lets their morning dude Pat Kiernan stay up in primetime, starting at 8 p.m.

Meanwhile, me movie, Quite an Imagination: The Story of New York's Unofficial Wizard, will, if certain sillies get off their collective butts, have a rough cut prepared by the end of October. By then, I'll have finished me duties for 2011. All I can say, as ever, is stay ye tun'd!

Master Blackwolf

And now, a pre-Talk Like a Pirate Day message from Blackbeard:

Ahoy, bilge rats! Blackbeard, the Most Dangerous Pirate on Earth 'ere. Now shut up an' lissen:

I be really disappointed in ye, New York! Fer 26 accursed an' dusty years, I bin Corporate Mascot an' Principal Spokespirate fer Electric Pirates Entertainment; and in all that time, I ain't seen one scurvy man Jack er Jane o' ye within the length and breadth o' th' Five Boroughs toot horn number one in the name o' Hinternational Talk Like a Pirate Day! Aaarrgh! Y'know, Disney and Mr. Bruckheimer --- not to mention, dear, sweet Ian McShane, wonderful Miss Penny Rose, and all the blarsted scum at Hindustrial Light n' Magic ---  alla 'em went out o' their way to make me look so good fer Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, me first major studio movie appearance in more'n 50 years .... and what do you Mortal movie critics do?

Ya dis me first great shot at restorin' me proper Pirate glory, the 15th time in Disney history that the black banner o' th' Jolly Roger has bin 'oisted o'er th' airspace o' 500 South Buena Vista Street in Burbank, Callyforny! How dare ye! Aaarrrgh! Well, I can take a little comfort in that Mr. McShane has shot some hintroductory footage portrayin' me Piratical personage fer th' various versions o' Pirates of the Caribbean at th' Disney Parks, warnin' ye lubbers about how ye should beware o' what ye'll hexperience thither!

Well, inasmuch as I be Blackbeard, I be lettin' ya know now: I ain't standin' fer it, ya blarsted jackanapes! If them Disney Parks folks 'ave their way, which they will, I'll be joinin' Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones as the three Pirates characters the fans'll be wantin' ta take pictures with!

Now c'mon, New York! Get off yer scurvy 'igh horse an' 'oist yer knickers to the nearest waterin' hole what be havin' the chutzpah to properly cellybrate Talk Like a Pirate Day --- er else! ('Nuff said.)

Yers etc.,

CAPTAIN ED'ARD ("BLACKBEARD") TEACH
Corporate Mascot/Principal Spokespirate
Electric Pirates Entertainment, Inc./EPE Holdings, Inc.
New York City, USA