Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

My Photo
Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Blackwolfian Michael Bay Rant!

Y'know, Mortals, I continue to wonder why you think Michael Bay is not the greatest director there is. Every time he's made a movie, right off the bat, a critic's first thing is, "Let's trash Michael Bay's new film."

If I may, goodly gentles: Oh, puh-leeeeze!

Now, I know there are a great many of you out there, and you know who you are, who won't rest until you've had a proper look at, so for those of you who would see him flop at any cost, your Dragonmaster would like to remind you that in the world of Michael Bay, there are two significant rules:

Rule #1: Blow. Shit. Up.

Rule #2: It's all about the girl.

To elaborate: You don't go to a Michael Bay movie to hear about saving the world, or to listen to a whole lot of extensive, emotional acting. No, dearests, pyrotechnical sequences on a fabulously epic scale, and slight pauses to check out how sexy the leading lady is --- these are the reasons we go to a Michael Bay movie, and if one considers that mindless, let them. Michael Bay is not interested in your opinion, much less what you think about him. I can only say ultimately that Michael Bay has the power, whereas you, put simply, don't. So there. (Whew!)

Clearly, I may be grumbled at for merely uttering these remarks, but I for one think it's time this filmmaker got his proper respect like every other director around the entertainment community. Besides, if I don't say these things, I'll very likely never eat lunch in this town again. 'Nuff said.