Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

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Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Reflections on Those Who Just Plain Aren't Funny

Alas, dearests, there comes a time to assess the dismal state of American comedy. Please consider what has now become the costliest production in the entire history of Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Entertainment: Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star, the incredibly horrible saga of an ordinary young man who one day discovers that his parents were porn stars during the early 1970's --- and then accordingly sets out to follow in the footsteps of Mumsey and Daddy, if thou wouldst.

It pains your humble Dragonmaster to share with ye this response as posted on

"The Adam Sandler-produced film Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star has received a very rare 0% approval rating on the website Rotten Tomatoes. Even though the movie received moderate to pretty good ratings, it opened to a pretty sad $1.5 million in its opening weekend. What's even sadder is that it's one of the worst major studio openings EVER. This sounds like a major catastrophic fail. At least, Halle Berry as Catwoman got a 10% rating from Rotten Tomatoes."

The horrifying truth, dear children, is simply this: Adam Sandler is simply no longer funny. Then again, neither are Mike Myers, Jim Carrey or even (ach!) Eddie Murphy. Basically, nobody around here hath bothered to learn the lessons of The Love Guru: you can concoct a basic story concept all you want, but unless you can entertain --- TASTEFULLY, mind ye! --- the public, you're not gonna get the audience you want. Hence, Mike hath become so desperate to stay funny (read: relevant) that he has already signed on to reprise one of his more iconic roles --- Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery; meanwhile, as everyone knows by now, the Academy has chosen Eddie Murphy to host the 84th Annual Academy Awards (which, I suspect, insiders are describing as a last desperate act on the Academy's part to make their own attempt to remain relevant in a digital world).

There was a time, I would wot, when Mortals didst laugh at tastelessness for its own sake; in the few years that have passed, unfortunately, we've had time to dismiss tastelessness and see it for what it truly is: horrible attempts at humor designed to please the lowest common denominator and the shortest attention span. Even our own Father of Magecraft, Merlin, foresaw this type of silliness amongst ye Hollywood types; one would presume, say I, that even King Arthur's Magician had the foresight to check out The Hollywood Reporter and Variety!

Nay, good Lords and Ladies: unless thou canst reach out, hold and ENTERTAIN thy audience, baby, you ain't got one chance in hell, sweetheart!

Such is the wisdom of Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, Lord of Talisker. Ye who wouldst challenge these remarks --- ye knows where to find me. Gimme an e-mail at either or