And now, a word from Blackbeard the Pirate!

Ahoy, bilge rats! Blackbeard 'ere. Now shut up and lissen:

Seems t' me, mateys, that tellyvision as ye n' me knows it is fast becomin' an endangered species. These 'ere broadcast networks will just keep on puttin' together idea after idea --- an' no matter where ye turns, the same result'll befall ye: No one has the chutzpah t' so much as stay tuned! Be it any wonder, then that YouTube be festooned with a virtual treasure chest o' vintage clips from TV shows ye may not have heard about....

....mostly, perhaps, becuz you scurvy knaves weren't payin' proper attention! If ye would become a professional Pirate, payin' attention be a must! Which reminds me: I hopes me shipmates at dear old Gasparilly be well an' truly prepared t' rule Florida; since them swabs from CBS Sports be doin' the heavily censored Super Bowl, I'll be keepin' a weather eye out on any landlubber from their TV truck what dares t' go t' commercial while any o' our Gasparilly mateys be on camera! Then, o' course, I'll need to have a look at th' doin's in Hampton, Virginia. This year's Blackbeard Pirate Festival be cellybratin' th' Town o' Hampton's 400th Birthday, and no doubt Ben n' DeeGee Cherry will make the scene(s), meetin' n' greetin' all an' sundry, etc.! (Heh-heh!)

But you young'uns keep a weather eye hither, now! Oscar Night be 'pon th' 'orizon, and if'n I knows that scatterbrain'd sorcerer, he'll be wantin' ta beat ye over th' 'ead wi' ALL them nominees --- every ... last ... man ... jack o' 'em! (Ha-har!)