Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Diary of Magecraft

Being a Chronicle of the Inner Secrets of, and Spells of Magick as Wielded by, the Philosopher of the Internet and Unofficial Sorcerer-in-Residence of the City of New York

My Photo
Location: New York, New York, United States

As New York's Unofficial Wizard, my mission is to encourage the Mortals of Manhattan to imagine responsibly!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rage against the dying of Tonight: Blackwolf vs. Leno

Well, Mortals, unless certain sumbitches see fit to make things a little easier on us who loved him, The Tonight Show as we know it shall cease to be, and Conan O'Brien will, if events are allowed to happen, leave NBC after almost 17 years of loyalty to supporting, as Conan himself called it, "the greatest franchise in broadcasting history." There is, in this Dragonmaster's opinion, only one villain in all this: jay Leno.

And you can quote me on this, Mortals: the deal Jay signed behind the scenes to regain control of The Tonight Show after the Winter Olympics will in the end earn him several and many bitter enemies --- whose number, as of henceforth, includes yours truly.

Let's get real here, dearests: Did you honestly think it was going to end any other way? It's not the first time we've had to take on this nonsense. From the now-classic documentary trilogy MGM: When the Lion Roars, now out on DVD:

"By the summer of 1951, Louis B. Mayer has reached the end of his rope. The heated disagreements pitting himself against Dore Schary have become an almost day-to-day occurence. After one especially violent argument, a confident Mr. Mayer picks up his direct line to New York and issues Nicholas Schenck an ultimatum: 'It's either me or Schary.' "

You who are historians of MGM know the tragic outcome of this; for those of you who don't, here be the cold hard facts:

"The date is June 26th, 1951 --- and this morning, Louis B. Mayer was fired. And so, after 27 years as the undisputed ruler of the most powerful motion picture empire on earth, the old monarch falls victim to an in-house palace coup. Mr. Mayer's ultimatum has given Nick Schenck the opportunity he's been waiting more than 20 years for: the chance to fire L.B. Mayer."

As you can obviously figure out, NBC had a choice: Do we keep lying to the viewers and say that Jay's still doing great, or do we go out on a limb and say we fucked up? Clearly, they have chosen to say that they fucked up. And in the end, it was Conan and his fans who were made to suffer. And the way I see it, that means one thing: These events and their aftermath will, mark my words, have a major league fallout. And ye who dare suggest otherwise are mere nimnuls, say I!

I will only tell you, and little more, that there will be those who will thirst for revenge. And I have little doubt that Leno will be the target of their vitriol. Here, as I have warned you before, is the dark side of corporate television in its basest, most sickening form. Greed, power, and money --- an equation that can only equal anger, fear, aggresion. If it sounds like I'm going Yoda on ye, me dears, remember: nothing surprises Blackwolf the Dragonmaster.

Well, here endeth the lesson, Mortals. Gotta go find a broken VCR system to take my emotions out on.

Master Blackwolf