The Da Vinci Code: A Dragonmaster's Two Cents

Well, the word is in from the Cannes Film Festival, and from what I'm hearing, Columbia Pictures and Imagine Entertainment's Presentation of The Da Vinci Code has failed to catch fire with the critics. Giggles, jeers, and rather indifferent shrugs were the order of the night as audiences grumbled fiercely at Brian Grazer and Ron Howard's latest odyssey, which once again teams the Imagineers, if you will, with Oscar legend Tom Hanks. And yet, the New York Post's critic Lou Lumenick has given the film four stars!

As you already know, your Dragonmaster is far too annoyed by the Code, so let me give you my two cents about this movie:

Really, Sony Pictures! Have ye not learned the lessons of Godzilla? When all you said was, "Size does matter," I instructed ye thus: "Shut up and show us the damn monster!" AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN! And thus did the Roland Emmerich/Matthew Broderick Godzilla flop. Now, you are dangerously close to falling into that very trap again --- because you have not yet decided to shut up and show us the damn movie! Of course, you'll do so on Friday, but to those in attendance at Cannes, the truth was in evidence that night --- that truth being simply that The Da Vinci Code, The Movie, sucks.

Or does it?

As Batman Executive Producer William Dozier might say: "The incredible answer this Friday ---same Bat-time, same Bat-theatre!" (Take that, you Bat-hasbeen!)

Master Blackwolf