Blackwolf Interviews Santa Claus!
BLACKWOLF: Well, Santa, let me tell you how honored I am to be personally greeting you; and I think you, being one who, like me, knows everything, were wise in terms of looking at how I wanted to do this interview.
SANTA: Thank you very much, Master Blackwolf. Now tell me, what would you like to know first?
B: Well, dispensing with the basics and related stuff, and working with the premise that we must not under any circumstances reveal any of your more, shall we say, classified information, I thought we would begin our conversation by simply hitting the ground running, as it were. By this I mean: 2006 has been quite a stellar year, especially for those who are in the business of portraying, or, as you put it, impersonating Santa Claus. What's your take on all of that, I wonder?
SC: Well, Blackwolf, when Tim Connaghan concieved the idea for Discover Santa Branson 2006, I think he thought out a lot of things, not the least of which was: What is Santa Claus to an ever-changing, electronically sound world? How relevant will Santa be in the fast-paced, 21st Century environment? At what point are Santas and their helpers expected to know about their impact of the future? Tim asked all those questions, and did much more besides to answer them.
B: So, for Tim Connaghan, simply bringing over 300 Santas together in Branson, Missouri was not enough. Hence, the four days of workshops, discussions, seminars, etc.
SC: Certainly! And I should like to say that when Tim finally returned to L.A. for the 75th Anniversary Hollywood Christmas Parade, clearly did he not only have the time of his life ---- I, for one, would prefer to call it a "victory" of sorts, because no one person did more in 2006 to make Santa relevant again than Tim Conngahan!
B: I would agree. There were, of course, other significant goings-on concerning you, Kringle old boy. I've known for many aeons that you could rock n' roll with the best of 'em --- but here's something I was particularly surprised by: Apparently, you and I share a certain fondness for those five freaky Finns, the Rovaniemi-based metal band Lordi! The folks in Rovaniemi have named a street for them; your Korvatunturi-based counterpart has given them his own personal thumbs-up (Indeed, he was last seen in Brussels, Belgium, handing out a few CDs from Lordi and other Finnish metal groups!); and I have honored them by naming their website my 2006 Bonus Weblink of the Year! My goodness! What turned you on to Lordi, Santa?
SC: Well, obviously, Master Blackwolf, what turned me on to the lovable monsters of Lordi has to do with the fact that sometimes, even an underdog can be challenged --- and, if given the right reasons, can beat the odds and win! And of course, we two both saw that happening with Lordi! Be assured, my Wizardly friend, that this Jolly Old Elf shares your hope that they tour North America --- particularly the U.S. and New York City in general --- next! Ho-ho-ho!
B: Well, turning to other, more serious matters now, not the least of which is that, in East Dundee, Illinois, there is no happiness, for Santa's Village has been shut down, and its remnants have been sold off to other properties across the country. Phil Wenz did, I have to admit, make probably one of the most valiant efforts I've ever seen in terms of saving a little piece of Illinois history.
SC: As you mention it, Blackwolf, even in your own adopted city, it's been a bad year for history, what with CBGB closing up, Tower Records shutting its doors for good --- I don't know exactly what kind of Manhattan I'll be flying over when I make my rounds six or so days from hence! Luckily, I can still count on the boys at NORAD to help my Elves track the Big Flight --- even if they've recently shut down the Old Cave in Colorado Springs! Heh-heh! As for Phil, you're right about one thing: he really did make a noble effort; and I wish that he'd continue performing as me. From what I've read on his website, his passion for yours truly began when he was just 4 years old! Now, that's what I call being faithful!
B: Indeed! Well, there were other things, like the World Santa Claus Congress at Bakken Amusement Park, near Copenhagen in Denmark; Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade turned 80; and now there's this thing coming up in February in Santa Claus, Indiana --- "Santa's Homecoming," where about 150 Santas and their guests are expected to converge upon the home of Holiday World & Splashin' Safari Theme Park to celebrate what some are already calling Santa's biggest year ever...... May I have your thoughts on all of those, sir?
SC: Really, Master Blackwolf --- I've popped in and out of so many events in 2006 that even now, I myself am starting to think that my Christmas Eve flight will be little more than icing on a cake! Of course, once I get back here, one of the things I intend to do --- other than watch The Santa Clause 3, of course --- is to look at that new thing the Radio City Christmas Spectacular people did with the Rockettes. Charles Edward Hall, as always, gives me a masterful impersonation every night! As I understand it, this is his 20th year of doing this! I certainly wish him well in his upcoming shows and other endeavors!
B: As do I, dear Santa. A few last questions now before I let you go: Here you are, Santa Claus, Knight of Christmas, Keeper of Childhood Dreams, First Protector of Imagination Par Excellence --- where, Santa, do you see yourself going this Night Before Christmas 2006?
SC: Ah yes, once again time to ponder and reflect upon the future. As I'm sure you're now aware, Time Magazine has chosen practically everyone on Earth who has dared to create content on the Web as their 2006 Person of the Year. No doubt that includes me --- but nonetheless, I wonder if all that content is all too much for the world in general. A Multiverse at war, with civilization battling civilization: there are days when I go outside, look up at the stars, and try to make sense of it all. As you know, Blackwolf, I am more than merely Santa. There are still traces of my youth still within me --- specifically, traces from the days when I was merely Nicholas, Bishop of Myra --- and even though I don't officially preach anymore, I still have it in my blood to tell the human race to stop making war. Like you, I've lived through far too many wars in my lifetime to stop my life's quest. It goes on, regardless. As I hope your life's quest will continue too, Master Blackwolf.
B: Oh yes, my life's quest will go on. You needn't worry about that. But, as we bring this interview to a close, I shall at least bow to tradition and let you have the last word.
SC: You're very generous for a Wizard, my friend. As for you, my loyal supporters over so many centuries past, present and future: I wish I could count on my fingers the many, many billions of times you've come through for us here at the Pole. Clearly you believe in me because you're not willing to have your faith in me shaken. You'll go to whatever lengths are necessary to believe in me. In 2006 especially, you have done that, and a great deal more besides! And for that, I can only thank each and every one of you for your longstanding trust and faithfulness. And to you little ones: I have always been a trusting, honorable friend over the aeons; and I promise you again, as I've done so many times before, that all your presents will be right there on Christmas morning --- just the way you would expect them to! So, dream only good dreams and think good thoughts --- and remember: no peeking! Ho-ho-ho!
B: Well, Santa Claus, you have this foolish ol' Wizard's promise that I certainly won't do anything in the way of peeking (Heh-heh!); and I thank you once again for allowing me the chance to interview you.
SC: You're quite welcome, Master Blackwolf. And of course, I leave you all with the words that matter more than anything, those words being --- "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!" Ho-ho-ho!
So there you are, Mortals. That's how Blackwolf spent the Nights Before Christmas with Santa Claus. I hope you've enjoyed the interview; and if you like what we talked about, you're welcome, of course, to throw your remarks my way. As usual, our e-mail addresses are firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com. And now, goodly gentles, if you don't mind, I'm off to find me own little Christmas tree. Hope it won't take too long in terms of me searching! Heh-heh-heh!
Fearlessly yours, as always,