Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2012: Preview and Rant
To Academy purists, whose legion includes myself, this would be a tad anathema, in that, for most of us, the Academy Awards is, by and large, as wholesomely All-American as, say, baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. But when you find yourself dealing with an Academy that, like Miss America, is waging what your Dragonmaster strongly suspects is an ongoing battle to maintain relevancy in an ever-changing digital realm, the question must be asked:
Will Oscar persist as it has for lo, these near nine decades, or will it be forced to submit to a world where the mere tradition of its very existence will be branded dead on arrival?
These are not easy questions, not even for the likes of New York's Unofficial Wizard, to pursue. And I hear that, alas, Bruce Vilanch will not be writing the show this year (Damn you, Bruce!), forcing our dear Billy to do the job of entertaining and pulling off the classic Oscar one-liners on his own (in which case, fie 'pon ye, Brian Grazer! No wonder Mrs. Audrey Geisel, widow of Dr. Seuss, hates you for what you did to the Grinch and the Cat in the Hat!). The point, kiddos, is that Oscar's gotta fight to survive like everybody else, or else the Academy Awards are just not gonna matter in this present day and age. And that, dearests, is the name of that tune.
As ever, I wanna know what you think, America. Gimme an e-mail at either email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.