Louis B. Mayer on: The Fall of Hollywood, 2011
Court officers slapped handcuffs on train wreck Lindsay Lohan yesterday after a furious judge found her in violation of her probation --- and questioned whether she's even an actress anymore.
"She is supposed to be an actress, from what I hear. I don't know how much acting work she's done or is doing," a steaming-mad L.A. County Court District Judge Stephanie Sautner said.
The angry jurist teed off on Lohan for blowing off 9 court-ordered sessions of community service at a women's shelter.
Lohan couldn't be bothered to do her court-ordered time because she was traveling through Europe looking for work --- an excuse that Sautner didn't buy.
"She needed to get off the stick and start doing the community service," said the judge.
LiLo's lawyer explained that Lindsay couldn't immediately do all court-ordered community service --- because she's too busy driving a gravy train for her siblings and her hard-partying mom.
"The reality is that Miss Lohan has to support herself and she supports her family," Shawn Holley said flatly.
Then, in a brutally honest comment about Lohan's trash heap career, Holley said that no moviegoer in America wants to see Lohan on the screen.
"Her opportunities are, unfortunately right now, limited," said Holley, claiming that Lohan is still big in Europe.
"Her opportunities are not in this country. They're outside this country. And her traveling to Europe was not to have fun. It was to make money to support both herself and her family."
Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! Louis B. Mayer speaking.
Once again, on behalf of my fellow deceased Hollywood legends, I am compelled to make the Case Against Hollywood of the Present Day. As the just-now excerpted story demonstrates, there is a fine line separating Good and Evil that even modern-day actors must abide by. What it boils down to is a sense of moral character, of which, all too apparently, Miss Lohan and others of her kind are tragically ignorant.
Such behaviors were never the case when I was in charge at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. If there was something morally ambiguous that occured, whatever the reason, my executive in charge of publicity relations, Howard Strickling, was on call at all times to deal with the problem. Old Irving Thalberg and I often saw to that.
But today, Hollywood 2011 is too fast, too overly controversial, and too completely out of control. Hell, I don't even really recognize Variety or The Hollywood Reporter anymore these days; both have become mere ghosts of their former selves; keeping up with the latest in entertainment news these days has been reduced to a mere afterthought, or else there's no one real journalist to keep a pulse on the world of the industry, as dear Hedda Hopper used to do in the Hollywood of old.
It's time for Lindsay Lohan and her kind to understand that time is running out for her so-called generation. Either conform to the behavior that was granted unto you when you became a star per se, or suffer the fate of John Gilbert.
When he realized that I wasn't gonna give him any grief about the state of his blackly moral character, John Gilbert was so furious about it that he even dared to whine about his sorry state by issuing a full-page advertisement in The Hollywood Reporter --- that would be the REAL Hollywood Reporter --- that read, in part:
"Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer will neither offer me work nor release me from my contract."
Two years later, John Gilbert was dead of a heart attack, a lonely, broken man. Take heed, Lindsay Lohan, lest you condemn yourself to suffering John Gilbert's fate. Thank you.