Apocalypse Oy! Blackwolf Versus the Doomsayers
Over the last couple of days, New York, and other locations across the country, have been bombarded with a series of advertisements spearheaded by an Oakland, Calif.-based group calling itself FamilyRadio.com, d/b/a Family Stations, Inc. Their leader, an 89-year-old televangelist named Harold Camping, is of the notion that this weekend --- May 21st, 2011 --- this Saturday, as a matter of fact --- will be the beginning of the end of the world. By Merlin's beard, why, of all days, did this guy have to pick Armed Forces Day to be the day of what most Christians refer to as the Rapture?
Your humble Dragonmaster was recently alerted to Mr. Camping via a retired MTA employee from here in New York, one Robert Fitzpatrick by name, who has dared to risk $140,000 --- his entire life savings, or so I've heard --- on posting a series of advertisements in our City's subways and buses, and in the local newspapers, inspired by Mr. Camping's teachings. These advertisements promote Mr. Fitzpatrick's self-published book entitled The Doomsday Code, which itself takes its cue from the philosophy of FamilyRadio.com.
Apparently, this doomsday prediction is the culmination of what FamilyRadio.com called "Project Caravan." Launched last October, this Project Caravan has to date visited over 100 U.S. cities, making their mark on everybody with their apparent call to spreading the word about May 21st, 2011 --- that date serving as the kick-off point for the Second Coming, to be a tad polite about the words.
Camping's teaching suggests that there will be a series of worldwide earthquakes, beginning approximately 6 p.m. local time, starting in the island nation of Fiji, and proceeding onward toward New Zealand --- ultimately reaching every nation on the Planet. Over the next five months, we learn, there is to be an unprecedented period of worldwide carnage, violence and basically not-nice stuff, climaxing on October 21st, when the Eternal One Himself --- God the Father --- heralds to all nations the end of the world.
Luckily for us, the goodly gentles of CBS News' 60 Minutes saw fit to investigate this guy Harold Camping, interviewing him earlier this week. That said, methinks it be time to let off a little bit of steam about this --- that is, if I expect to live with meself. So here goes:
What in thunder is the problem with you sillies predicting the end of the world and all the insanity that goes along with shaking our world to its foundations in this way? Really, don't you think we all have better things to do with our lives than be taken in by a gaggle of conspiracy theorists run amok? Were I a betting Wizard --- and thank goodness I'm not! --- the smart money would tell me not to back this particular horse. Heed the word of Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, kiddos: we're still gonna be here on Saturday after 6 p.m. That's a promise. As for Mr. Fitzpatrick, I fear he will lose his shirt as a result of all this global earthquake silliness; and Harold Camping will become the laughing-stock of televangelism in general.
Now I hope you appreciate why your Dragonmaster does not take too kindly about placing his trust in the televangelism industry. Have you Mortals learned nothing from the Jim Bakker/Jimmy Swaggart scandals of 1980's, much less the farce of the Oral Roberts "call-me-home" incident? Happily, beloved and glorious Billy Graham, and Franklin his son, are far wiser Mortals than these dum-dums.
Well, that's enough outta my Wizardly mouth about this. Wanna challenge me about it? Gimme an e-mail at either firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.