The War of Bethesda Fountain
As reported exclusively by New York Daily News correspondent Juan Gonzalez, the Loeb Boathouse Restaurant has become a scene of sexual harassment and discrimination, according to six current and former employees of the facility who last week filed a series of complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
Ex-waitress Alejandra Betancur told Gonzalez, "This same manager kept calling me up after work and insisted that I go out with him. "I refused and told him I was married. He later became angry when I had to tell him I was pregnant."
I shall spare you all the rest of it, save for one last important detail: Gonzalez' report speculates that Assistant Parks Commissioner Betsy Smith --- who has spent being in charge of all concessions in the City's parks --- is apparently on a quest to privatize as many areas of Central Park as possible, by whatever means can be made necessary.
Y'know what, kids? That's it! NO MORE MR. NICE WIZARD!
Up to now, I have maintained my patience with these idiots, and I have been as civilized as Mortally possible. But now, it's time for ol' Blackwolf to say: ENOUGH NONSENSE!!! I have just about had it with all of you, you and your foolish desires to divide Central Park, our City's beloved Forest Primeval, between the haves and the have-nots. I can remain silent no more! I refuse to stand idly by and witness the all-too-systematic destruction of the well-being not just of my fellow eccentrics, but of all of Central Park itself. Were he here to even react to this, I have no doubt that beloved and glorious Louis Thomas Hardin, alias Moondog, would be furious! I only wish that the Viking of Sixth Avenue could have stood with us this past Sunday, that he too might have expressed his disgust.
There will be more in the days and weeks to come concerning what I shall now call the War of Bethesda Fountain; but for now, I shall have to ask how you, O Mortals, feel about these horrid tidings. As ever, ye knowst how to get to me: email@example.com and firstname.lastname@example.org.