Blackwolf Gets Real: The Case Against MTV
Gwen Stefani has had it with the MTV Video Music Awards. Apparently, the diva is "boycotting" tomorrow night's big show in light of the shoddy treatment she says she recieved last year.
"She had a ton of nominations and was under the impression that she'd be taking home at least one award," says our insider. "However, every award, other than that lame Best-Dressed award, went to Kelly Clarkson. And every time Kelly won, the camera went straight to Gwen. Gwen felt as though she was set up." Stefani also thought she'd be called upon to close the show, but that honor also went to Clarkson. Stefani's representatives were unavailable for comment.
Well, Mortals, now you know. Like Triumph and myself, Gwen Stefani has read the writing on the wall; and between the three of us, the verdict is clear:
There is no MTV anymore. If that entity ever existed, I defy you to watch tomorrow night's VMAs and tell me if you believe it still exists. Why, then, should Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, he who dared appear with Triumph on MTV's TRL the very day that Star Wars, Episode III premiered theatrically around the world, dare make The Case Against MTV?
I'll tell ye why, goodly gentles. I am of that generation which of yore relished in the wisdom of Alan, Martha, Nina, Mark and Triple-J. They, in that ancient time, had the pulse of the music world in that proud and glorious morn when indeed video didst murder yon radio star. Nowadays, MTV is just another damn multi-million-dollar empire that doesn't even give a rat's ass about being 25. (See my earlier rant on this for further vitriol on the part of your Dragonmaster.) It's time, I think, we accepted that the concept of the music video is well on its way to becoming, for all intents and purposes, just another damn dinosaur. Why is this? you ask. I think you know the answer even before I say it: The music industry, 2006 Mortal-reckoning, is filled with little else save sex, drugs, and bad rock-n'-roll!
And the music store that was once the very temple of rock itself --- Tower Records --- is now so deep in debt that it owes multimillions to all four major recording conglomerates .... and in fact is on the verge of total liquidation. What does this tell you, goodly gentles? Has video killed the radio star --- and the vinyl star as well?
Few are the times hither in me Diary of Magecraft when your humble Dragonmaster has kept it this real with you, me loyal fans. But it's time to face the truth: the MTV you knew of old exists no more. That's why ol' Poopstar and yours truly are staying home tomorrow night. As much as Rolling Stone Magazine would like to have Triumph back to needle the presenters, alas, it ain't gonna happen; as for your Dragonmaster, you already know where I stand on this.
Regardless, as ever, I wanna know what you think, America. Gimme an e-mail at either firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.