Blackwolf @ the Oscars: "Oscar, Oscar Night"

For a few years, my Mortal-born alter ego Master Richard celebrated the Academy Awards with his own, laugh-a-microsecond bit of bardiness, Oscar, Oscar Night, based on Michael Jackson's "Thriller." As we are now a little less than 48 hours removed from Hollywood's Biggest Night, I thought I would share that parody with you here:

It's close to nine --- live --- there's something boring lurking in the dark.
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart.
You try to cheer, but boredom takes the sound before you make it.
You start to freeze as Johnny looks you right between the eyes ---
You're paralyzed!

'Cuz this is Oscar, Oscar Night,
And no one's gonna save you from the beasts about to strike.
You know it's Oscar, Oscar Night ---
You're fightin' for your life inside the
Emmy
Oscar
Tonight!

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run.
You feel the gold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination,
But all the while, you see the stars are movin' up behind ---
You're outta time!

'Cuz this is Oscar, Oscar Night!
There ain't no second chance against those moviegoin' eyes, girl!
Oscar, Oscar Night ---
You're fightin' for your life inside the
Emmy
Oscar
Tonight!

Night creatures call as the dead start to walk in their masquerade;
There's no escape from the jaws of the actors this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your night! (Oooh!)

They're out to get you --- celebrities closin' in on ev'ry side!
They will possess you unless you change that number on your dial!
Now is the time for you and I to go and catch the late show, yeah.
All through the night, I'll save you from the yawnfest on the screen;
I'll make you see

That this is Oscar, Oscar Night
'Cuz I got more awards than any film would ever dare to vie
Oscar, Oscar Night
So let me hold you tight and share the
Emmy
Tony
Grammy
Oscar
Here tonight!

'Cuz this is Oscar, Oscar Night
Yeah, I got more awards than any film would ever dare to vie
Oscar, Oscar Night
So let me hold you tight and share the
Emmy
Oscar (Aaow!)

Darkness falls across the land.
The hour of nine is close at hand.
Creatures crawl in search of gold
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood.
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul to come on down
Must stand and face the movie screen
And rot despite eternal screams!

The foulest stench is in the air,
The junk of 60 boring years ----
And grisly ghouls from ev'ry film
Are closing in to seal your doom.
And though you fight to stay awake,
Your body starts to shiver.
For no mere Mortal can resist
The climax of ---- the Oscar!

Well, that was Oscar, Oscar Night, based on Thriller, Words & Music by Rod Temperton. Now it's disclaimer time: Please be advised that in no way was the preceding intended to offend and/or arouse controversy. This parody was written solely to amuse those who have been bored by the live telecast; if there were any such individuals who considered this parody naughty, your Dragonmaster humbly offers his apologies.

Right, now that that's out of the way, consider this your final invite to join me here Monday, when I assess the telecast as only Blackwolf the Dragonmaster can! Later, Mage-lovers!

Master Blackwolf