When Ben Met Betsy, Along with the Usual Monday Morning Crap
For those of you Mortals who tuned in late, myself included, the Big Story this Independence Week comes from Philadelphia, where America's quintessential Ben Franklin impersonator, Ralph Archbold, will marry Betsy Ross impersonator Linda Wilde, in what they're already billing as "The Wedding of the (18th) Century!" They met last September 1st when Linda needed some guy to do a toast for one of her friends. She figured Ralph was the guy. He told her Ben Franklin doesn't do toasts. She persisted. He relented. He then did the toast.
Well, romance began to blossom, and I don't think you need me to tell you the rest. For now, you need only understand as follows: She's widowed. It's his third time down the aisle, his first wife having died, his second having divorced him. And the Philadelphia media is clearly having a field day with the story: WCAU-TV/HD, WPVI-TV/HD, KYW-TV/HD, and especially WFXT-TV/HD are all going live with the story; and I expect there'll be national coverage in the weather segments on GMA, the Today Show, The Early Show and Fox & Friends.
Nevertheless, it's Monday. Wizards, as usual, don't do Mondays. For Ben's sake, however, your Dragonmaster --- being, as I wrote here some two days ago, an All-American Wizard (Huzzah!) --- has decided to be nice. Besides, you do have to wonder, don't you: Where in Merlin's name are these lucky freedom fighters going to spend their happy honeymoon? I daresay it'll probably be in England; one can guess that England has its share of George III impersonators. But I digress.
In any case, much happiness, dear Ralph and Linda. Clearly I shan't have the chance to get you on the phone anymore, so I can do no more than offer ye me humble tribute here. Oh yeah, and while I'm thinking about it: Hey History Channel! Why aren't you guys covering this? And you guys had Ralph star in one of your old commercials a while ago. You oughta be returning the favor and going live to Philly like everybody else, that ye, too, might be in on the Wedding of the (18th) Century. But nooooooo! You guys on the History Channel think you're too cool, too macho to even give Ben Franklin some live air time on your bloomin' expletive deleted network! To you guys, an 18th Century wedding in the early 21st Century ain't cool enough for the History Channel! Get some rear ends, you twits! Go live with this, or I'll turn you all into newts! Capeesh?
And on that note, that's as much crapola I intend to dish out on a Monday morning. Now if you'll kindly excuse me, I've got some e-mails to deal with at the immediate moment.