Blackwolf @ the Oscars 2007: More Oscar Pre-Buzz

As we get our Wizardly selves in gear for the 79th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, your Dragonmaster would like you to know a few things about our favorite little golden naked guy with the sword: everybody and his brother for countless aeons has whined about how rotten the telecast is: it's too long, the acceptance speeches are too boring, the production numbers suck, even the wardrobe isn't cool. Look, goodly gentles, I've just about given up complaining about the Oscars as a television program; I strongly advise you Mortals to do the same. No matter what we do, no matter how they strive behind the scenes to keep things short, there's just no getting over the fact that there inevitably will be a fourth hour of the show.

Look, you try to take issues like this on from the viewpoint of your typical ABC network exec. What do I put on the Academy Awards? What do I leave out of the telecast? How am I gonna keep things at the Oscars cool and not drive the Planet crazy about it?

There's only one answer, my friend: battle as best you can, grab the nearest Tylenol you can get your hands on, and let matters take their course. In other words, America, the time has come to stop worrying and love the Academy Awards as a 4-hour show. The more we start doing that, me buckos, the better life will be. What do YOU think? I really wanna know. You know where to e-mail me: electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com.

Master Blackwolf